BULA! Literally meaning life, every employee greets you whenever you walk past with the blessing of a good life. I've really enjoyed my week there and so I'll share it with you now. (I'm not being paid, just sharing my experience)

Warning: It's going to be picture heavy so you have been warned..

Fiji is well, a place known to many Australians, and not at all known to most Singaporeans. Majority of the country's income is based on their tourism industry and Australians make up a majority of the tourists there. Everywhere you go, at least 50% of the tourists there are Australian. Fiji consists of a group of 333 islands and less during high tide. They have a population of not even a million people and they are located in the south pacific sea with tropical humid weather. It is their monsoon season at this time of the year, making it more humid. Their ancestors practised cannibalism but that clearly stopped and their dominant belief system is Christianity. The population there is pretty diverse, they have the natives, some Indians, some Chinese and Koreans(and I'm not sure what else). According to my parents, they are a third world country and on the way from Nadi airport to the resort, you can see the condition of the houses which most of the people are living in.

So, we booked a night flight, leaving on the night of the 17th and we arrived in Nadi(pronounced Nandi) at 6+ in the morning on the 18th(Saturday). It's a short flight of about 5 hours. Their daylight saving ended last week so their time is now only 1 hour ahead of Melbourne time. The flight itself wasn't that interesting..after all it was a night flight and we were meant to sleep. We took Fiji Air and their service staff was alright I guess, satisfactory but not excellent. The entertainment choice..was alright too, I plugged in the headphones, set up a playlist and let it run..while I slept so I can't really comment much on that can I? They had hunger games(the first one) but I've watched it before, and it's not really the kind of movie I would watch again even though it's good and also especially at that hour? No thanks. Haha. The humidity isn't as bad as Singapore I think, it doesn't slap you in the face once you step off the plane..

So we arrived at our resort a few hours later. I don't think I'll reveal the name now, but I might change my mind later..for now, let the picture overload begin! (:









Alright, after one day of procrastination(amidst cleaning up the house and going grocery shopping..), it would be nice to see what I've been up to for the past week yes?  I mentioned I would be going away in my last post but didn't mention where, and so now, I'll tell you haha. I spent a lovely week in FIJI!! I'll probably need some time to sort and compile the photos we took from different devices so I'll most likely type up one entry first, and put in the photos I took with my phone, then I'll edit and maybe add in more pics taken from the camera. It's been such an enjoyable week, I'm already missing Fiji and the people there. I miss the night skies, the beach and the people..the resort was beautiful, food was..overpriced and expensive though :/ I can still close my eyes and see the place in my head now and hear the roar of the ocean. Beautiful beautiful place. Sigh..Fiji, you are missed.



Lol I say I'll do so many things but everything ends up nowhere..
Anyway, to finish the previous story, the woman said she was going to take the same train too but point is, she still had enough money on her card to tap on and get on the train, she didn't have to top it up there..she could have just let me go first because I'll just take like 1 minute and clearly her credit cards or whatever weren't working-.- Goodness..even thinking about all this again makes me fed up.

It's been a hot hot hot week in Melbourne, temperatures hitting over 40 degrees. Been chilling on the sofa in the living room right under the evaporative cooling vent because it's just so hot. Kudos to the tennis players playing in the Australian Open even with this heat. Even just stepping outdoors is enough to warrant groans and complaints haha. Ohwell, apparently it's going to cool down after tomorrow. Joke is, I'm going away tomorrow haha.

Had my first driving lesson this morning too. Seems like I'm almost ready to drive solo :OO Booked the driving test to be on 7 Feb which is..really soon. We'll see how that goes eh haha.



SO.MAD. 



Sigh..I've been going about blogger and google-ing for an hour now but I still can't figure out how I can get the music to play..I don't want to sign up for a dropbox account and upload some music files to the public domain..so frustrating :/ I don't know how to do this..html code is not something I know very well )):



How's everyone's new year been so far? Mine's been alright I guess, could have been better, but life moves on. 



Lol okay, I shall eat my words..since today is the last day of 2013, might as well do some reflection right?
This year's gone by in a flash. This blog has come a long way, now that I think of it. It's contained a lot of my random moments, a lot of happy and sad moments, and now so quickly it has almost reached 6 years of existence. A quick check showed that this blog first started existing on the 26th January 2008, what a coincidence, it's Australia Day :D Thanks anyone reading frequently for enduring my countless rants and whatnots. Time has passed by so fast, so much faster than I would have liked it to go, but as they say, time waits for no man(such a cliched phrase but anyway). Like I said in my previous post, I'm not particularly looking forward to the new year, nor am I looking forward to the end of 2013, it's just another opportunity to reflect on what I have, and what I can give.  I've never really had any new year's resolutions well because..I'm not really one to set such goals and try to achieve them. Why not set them as an on-task basis and create goals along the way? Even if I have made new year resolutions in the past, I would have forgotten about them 2 weeks into the new year. So, not going to set any resolutions for this year. It's been a fast but crazy year, but I hope everyone has had a good year and have a year as good and if not better year starting tomorrow. Tomorrow is always a new beginning (:



It's the last day of 2013, yet it's just another day. 



It was a PAIN trying to log into blogger just now.
My uni uses google mail as the official mail service and they just didn't allow me to log into blogger because it "wasn't supported". Had to go to my uni email, log in then log out then come to blogger and log in.

Anyway, my body clock's really off. Been sleeping at 12-ish then waking up at 7. The exam period has clearly messed it up. Been sleeping for 5 hours before the last 2 papers so that's probably why.

Now I have so much time on my hands, I don't really know what to do with it..During the exam period, there were tons of things to watch and tons of things to do other than studying. Now that I'm done, what happened to all that..ok to be fair I still do have videos that I want to watch but then because of the internet cap..It is best not watch so much now. I think we've already used 81% of our internet cap for this month so..while there still is some time before the month ends..might be safer to not endlessly click on recommended videos on youtube(you will seriously get stuck on youtube for hours if you do so).  I should start reading..hmm. Alright, I'll be back :P



LIBERATION! Finally..



Just did a bomb of an exam.
FAR OUT
I'll be thankful to just pass seriously.
I have tried, I really have.
This exam period though, I just can't seem to study. Well, I can study but it's not processing very deep in the brain. It's like my brain has run out of memory space and I need an external hard drive or something.
Anyway, last paper next monday so more intense studying this weekend. Now is just a short breather before liberation next monday. I'm so sick of studying.
I don't even think it's possible for me to get 50% for this exam..not even 40 I think. I'm doing so badly this time round..darn. I'm just ranting right now because..1) I did terribly. 2) I woke up at 5 to study for this stupid exam this morning-.- should have slept more, the extra studying didn't even help.



Screwed. Utterly screwed I tell you.

Supposed to start studying for exams today and here I was, rushing to finish up lectures. Listened to a whopping 8 lectures today..but I don't think I retained very much. I have NEVER been able to listen to this many lectures in one day. Desperate times call for desperate measures indeed.

There is a ridiculous amount of content for this semester's exams, I have no idea how I'm going to finish studying it all. There is just so much to study and so much application. Application meaning you have to know everything and when they throw a case study at you, you should be able to comment or suggest something. How in the world..

There isn't even one..simple topic. There used to be one that I wouldn't have to listen to lectures for..like the more common sense, social aspects, but then this term it's so much more. There isn't one that is common sense that I would complain is a waste of time. All of them start out ok and then the second half of the semester, it all just starts going CRAZY. GAHHH stress stress stress

Alright, going to sleep now, more craziness scheduled for tomorrow..wish me luck.



I was wrong.
I am blessed.
Very very very blessed.
And I shall end it at that.

Gloomy weather, stuck at home finishing up tute preparation due tomorrow morning.
Bleh.

Anyway, today's topic.

"And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it me.'"
- Matthew 25:40

Why this topic? Well, I was walking outside melb central with my friend yesterday afternoon and there was this guy who was asking for spare change. It was raining and I was talking to my friend so well..I have to say I ignored him because tbh, I thought he was just taking shelter from the rain. It was only when we walked past him did ask for spare change. Walked past without a word, he said good day and apparently after, he said f*** you(I didn't hear this but my friend did). Thing is, he wasn't dressed terribly, he seemed pretty clean and he wasn't physically disabled. Surely he has the means to find a job so he doesn't have to..in nicer words, ask for spare change on the streets. If he does seem capable of supporting himself, why should I be giving him my spare change right? Spare change or not, money is money. All the money I have in my wallet now is what I have earned from working every Saturday. If I can do it, why can't he? Surely he has the capacity to. And eff me/us? We don't owe him a thing, on what grounds does he have the right to say that for not giving him spare change? Or was it because we didn't "Good day" him back? Is this just the easy way out for him? Yea, I guess we could have said something like Good day to you too back but then who know where that would end up. So in this situation, would I be wrong to just ignore him? In the past, when Jesus walked the Earth, the beggars he told people to treat well were physically disabled and unable to support themselves. They weren't clothed alright or physically able. If they were, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be on the streets. So did that guy deserve the way we treated him? Or was I wrong? Would he be considered a beggar, someone who is physically(and most likely mentally) able to support himself? And should he be treated the same way as someone else who is more in need?



Turning 19 on 19 October, yes that's today. 



Blogging again, this time to complain.

Anyone been to Straits of Malacca Hawthorn? If you haven't don't go. Their Glen Waverely counterparts are much better. Why?

Just got takeaway lunch from the Hawthorn outlet  and after this, I am NEVER going back again. Twice already that I got served by some rude girl. Mind you, these were 2 different occasions and 2 different girls, what does this say? Walked in, ordered my lunch and the girl was like "do you mind paying first" in a rude tone. I was holding my wallet phone and work key in my hand plus their super huge menu. You expect me to hold everything and give you money? Freaking take the menu from me! Gave her the menu first and she literally snatched it off and threw it somewhere. HELLO I AM FREAKING PAYING YOU MONEY THAT I WORKED AN HOUR FOR. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS BE NICE. I don't owe you a freaking thing. Thought I would drop by the supermarket across the road to get something while they're cooking. WHATTHEHECK, went back and had to wait another 10 freaking minutes before it was done. In total I probably waited more or about 15 minutes and this was takeaway-.- Even other customers got served their food first. What, I look young and don't deserve to get served? I have to rush back to work hello. Didn't even get a receipt so I can say that I ordered it. Anyway, when it came, girl asked something and I assumed it was about chilli because that's what they always ask about. I said no, checked my plastic bag and where in the world were my cutlery? AM I EXPECTED TO EAT HOR FUN WITH MY BARE HANDS? Asked the girl for cutlery and she scrunched up her face in an annoyed way and was like WHAT!? And then she finally got what I wanted and scowled. I AM A PAYING CUSTOMER AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME? So what if I'm not spending $100, any customer is a paying customer. I wasn't even demanding. The way they treat me is as if I'm not paying at all and eating for free or something. Ridiculous? You tell me. NEVER going back. No point having food from a place who doesn't appreciate the business. Absolutely rude staff, quality of food not consistent, it's not like I'm going to miss out on anything much . There is better food being sold ALL AROUND, I don't owe you a thing. Go on to urbanspoon and there you see all the good reviews written by..to be blunt, white people. Friendly staff, good service blah blah. WHERE? And then you see the reviews where people got lousy service by the staff and they are the Malaysians. Most of their business is from Malaysians and Singaporeans, so this is how it's going to be huh? See how long you'll last. STRAITS OF MALACCA HAWTHORN, don't head there, ever. Clearly, they don't really value their business, neither should you.



I seem to have blogging spurts now and then where I blog so frequently and then it dies off for a month or so and then I decide to blog again.

On midsem holidays now, finally. Unfortunately, this holiday is all study and no play for me. Planned to finish catching up with all my lectures by today..of course it wouldn't be done, who am I kidding. Have to get some done tonight if not I really can't sleep tonight. I'm not complaining, after all it's my own fault that I have so many lectures outstanding. Alright, I probably should be started now. Procrastination now isn't going to help that either, might as well get started..



Life seems to be a huge chaotic mess atm. Hope everyone's alright! Spring's here, weather's beautiful. Take care! 



为什么我什么都都做不好



Going to be frigging late for work today-.-



TIREDTIREDTIRED



In the midst if a hurricane,



Happy National Day sg! Watching the live streaming now online and the streaming is quite impressive this year I have to say. Not the best quality but the streaming is very smooth and not choppy. To be honest..today felt like any other day, the weather's bad today..raining and cold, nothing special. What has national day become for me? 



Going to complain a lot in this post so..I apologise for my ranting. You have been warned lol.

Today is a really suay day for me-.-
First off, decided to go window shopping because I just felt like getting out after experiencing some nonsense stuff.
Got to the shopping centre, all was good, everything was going well until..I went to this shop selling makeup and nail polish. Walked out with random splatters of purple nail polish on my WHITE pants..and they weren't cheap pants either. Decided to maybe go shop for some jeans so I can change and not walk around in white pants with random purple splatters. Went to cotton on because I thought they had the $10 jeans sale. Not much was left and so I tried out their $39.95 jeans. Decided not to get them after all. Went to valleygirl instead and tried on a pair of floral print jeans and guess what happened..I bought the wrong size. Not realising this, I immediately went to the toilet to change and pulled off the tags. Put then on and it was almost hard to breathe lol, I fit but it wasn't comfortable..Anyway, decided to just get out before anything worse happened. On the way out, then decided to run back and ask to change the floral jeans to another size. Ran to the toilet(was really smelly because..some business was happening in there) and quickly changed and ran back to the store to see if I could change it. Luckily I was allowed to do that and I went to buy a new wallet. Got it and got out of the shopping centre to catch the bus home. Sky was getting really dark and I was praying it would not rain till I got home. Alighted early because there was another way home and 5 minutes into the walk home, it starts raining..and it doesn't get any lighter. Heavy rain + strong wind = cannot see where I'm walking but anyway, I made it home with my shoes all wet and clothes mostly wet(even with an umbrella-.-) Quickly got changed and tried to remove the purple stains from my white pants. Tried nail polish remover and yes it's faded but it's still purple..the areas are soaking in bleach now, really hope they come off.. Anyway, on the bus back, this genius here grazed her elbow on the seat and  one patch of skin came off :O My day cannot get any better T.T
The only 2 good things that happened today was that I didn't have to wait for the bus and..I fit into size 8 pants LOL. Before, I couldn't fit into them, like I was literally bursting out of them haha and I don't think I could zip up size 8 pants either. Now I fit hahahaha. Looks like returning to pre-melb weight is a good thing indeed.

Anyway, didn't have a good day yesterday either..was working in my new job and after work yesterday, I was asking the manager about my roster for next week etc. Apparently another student is working next week and their roster is full for..the next week(not sure about the rest of the year?!). So basically I think I'm on casual employment since she mentioned something about when this person or that person is away eg. in december or january. I have no idea what I should do now. Maybe it's also good this way since next semester does seem pretty hectic from the timetable. Also served my first customer yesterday and the entire time I was like ?!!! Lol. Was told to tell the customer that everything is on the account and I can just bag it up for them and say thanks and bye. Sounds simple? Not so simple. Told the customer that it was on the account and he was like "so what does that mean". Erm..I wasn't told what that meant either so I just said that the records are with my workplace and just bs-ed my way out I guess. The customer then picked up a box and started saying that's not what he was taking before and already by that time I was freaking out so I just told him to wait and I'll go check with someone. Screwed up or not, you tell me-.-



바보 처럼



Gahhh Yes I'm blogging again at work. Was going to blog on Sunday/Monday about something but well..obviously I didn't get to it.

I'm quite bored at the moment. Weather isn't that good(top of 16degrees but I think it's cloudy outside). Not much traffic, only 1 customer so far-.-Boss asked if I was ok working tmr and Saturday so I said ok. I have nothing much to do at home anyway. Was planning to paint again tmr but I still have 2 weeks so..still have time left. I'm having these random panicking episodes seriously. Results are supposedly out next Monday and to be honest I'm feeling quite terrified for it. Didn't feel like that last year at all..my worry was more of getting D's and HD's then but now it's just a pass. Will have to work a lot harder next semester.

Was hired yesterday!! :D I don't even know how much I'm being paid or when I'm next working yet but the first step is getting the offer so, at least that's done! The manager yesterday just casually asked me to go give the medicine to the customer and I kind of stoned when she asked me. I was showed how to do it twice but I'm still a bit confused because you have to get them to sign something and then date it and then you have to tell them how to use it but then what if they have questions?!! I've only worked there for 6 hours..I'll work harder in that area..lol

Anyway, last Sunday, I heard the most beautiful sound ever. Something so pure and so beautiful. It was the voices of hundreds of people praising and worshipping the Lord. No words, no music, just voices and many different notes, but yet there was a pureness of the sound that was just so..heavenly. If humans can create this sound, can you imagine the music angels make when they praise God?! Really crazily beautiful.

That's all for now! Going to eat lunch in 10 minutes(:





Bring on the blogging madness! Haha, it's been a week since I posted, hope everyone's well!
Having lunch now while at work so I'm multitasking.
Seems like blogger won't let me post anything without a title. Typed up a post on Thursday but then because I didn't know about the title thing so it ended up being deleted I think.

It's another quiet day at work. Not much traffic but still better than thursday. Just finished my lunch. Had pad mee kao from the thai restaurant/takeaway place a few shops away. For those who don't know, it's a bit spicy. Unknowingly chewed on a piece of chilli and it set half my tongue on fire for a while. I usually can take pretty spicy food without any problem but that piece of chilli was really :OO Good meal though.

Almost half my holidays are over already and I don't think I've accomplished very much :/ Did some job hunting on Monday, slacked off on Tuesday, went in to a pharmacy somewhat far from my house to hand in my resume and had an interview then and there. Was told that for their student hires, they are called to go tryout for a few hours so I was told to go on Friday(yesterday) for 3 hours to tryout. Thursday was spent at work. Had to rush to target on Thursday night because I had no work bottoms to wear. Friday..went in to tryout at the pharmacy for 3 hours. No names mentioned, not even going to tell you where it was because I heard nowadays employers actually check your facebook and other sites etc. If you google your full name and search for images and stuff, something is bound to turn up. Googled mine once and I found my facebook profile picture on google images, facebook page link on google search as well as..pictures from my farewell dinner with 3K which nwarp put up. Let's just say they weren't very flattering pictures. So kids, be careful about what goes on the internet! Anyway, with the tryout, I was somewhat nervous and pumped for the moment. Was just right on time because we had to send my brother to his friend's house-.- Literally charged all the way from his friend's house to the shopping centre haha. Anyway, I would say it was a very good experience as to what really goes on behind the counter. I did try my best yesterday in terms of remembering stuff. Was never told that there was that much paperwork going on behind the counter. In terms of skills, I'm probably lacking since I've never worked in that setting before but hopefully I did well enough for them to at least get back to me, even if it means starting with the floor first. The staff there are all really nice and pretty patient I have to say. Couldn't find so many of the medications and was literally ?!! when I couldn't find the right thing. Sent a message to the manager this morning thanking her for the opportunity to tryout(and something about hope to hear from you soon). Don't know if that's a right move or not, today being a Saturday and all. Not even sure if she's working today. Was going to send it last night but then sending a text at 9 to your possibly future manager(these 3 words are weird together..) doesn't look very professional right? Hopefully that doesn't shut down any chance that may probably be there. If it isn't God's plan then hopefully I'll get a call/email from the pharmacy near my house(but they're not hiring though :/) Ohwell, we'll see.

Exam results are scheduled to be released on 15 July, a bit more than a week from now. To be honest, I'm really anxious about this. Not all, just for one subject that I'm not sure I even passed the written paper. There's another subject that I'll most likely get lower than a distinction for because this stupid marker gave my group a super low mark(4.5/10 -.-) for a group project assignment we did. Thanks a lot-.- Even the comments given weren't even helpful. They were sort of like...you didn't include blablahblah and you should have talked more about blahblah. But whatever, it's over and we can't get it changed so forget it. Will have to work a lot harder next semester. The other 2 should be alright..expecting at least a distinction from the other 2. I don't even know if they allow a retake if I fail. I really don't want to study this subject again next year D: Praying very hard that I didn't fail it. Even a just pass would be good. Some of the lecturers were terrible in terms of explaining the content. Yes, we are supposed to go read up but seriously..you're supposed to teach us in a way that we would understand. I have no right to criticise but then again, I'm not being paid to teach.

Alright, end of my rant for now.



Shall blog again. Whatever. I'm at work now, yea I'm blogging while at work. No customers now, so why not? Business is really bad today..sigh..

Was pretty cold this morning and I didn't fill my water bottle so I decided to get something at starbucks. If you've never been to starbucks, when they take your order, they get your name as well. Told the girl my name and when I got my order, it was labelled with..Cynthia. If you know me, my name isn't Cynthia but well..for now, I am "Cynthia" to the starbucks staff member.

Sorry what I'm talking about in this post is a mess because I'm just typing whatever that comes to mind.

OHYES, I got a new phone!! :D Signed up on a plan finally and got a change of phone. Decided to get iPhone4 over Samsung galaxy express just because there is iMessage on the iPhone. Ok secretly, I like apple products. Not that I don't love samsung, it's just that I don't know that brand products that well so..lol just casually announcing to the whole world I got an iPhone. I changed from a prepaid to a contract and decided to port my number. Stupid me didn't think about the credit left of the prepaid number, and because I kept my number, I lost all the leftover credit-.- So much genius on my part-.-

Apparently my dad's planning a trip to hongkong at the end of this year or early next year. Hope we're going to stop by Singapore for a while on the way! HK has the good food and shopping but unfortunately, the only one in my family who can speak cantonese is my dad so if we do go, all of us are going to be like ?!! on the entire trip haha, but it'll be fun. It's been so long since we actually went on an actual holiday. I admit I used to be like one of those rich kids that went on overseas holidays almost every year but not anymore. But then again, when you go on an overseas holiday at an older age then you can really appreciate the holiday more.

Don't know if I'm going to get picked from work today or not. My brother says he wants to go to the Aussie Disposals to get something. The Aussie Disposals is just across the road from where I work so if they do come then yay!

Today is a really gloomy day :/ the sky's grey and cloudy and it looks like it's going to rain at any moment. Maybe that's why business is really slow today? There's hardly anyone walking down where I work and even if the people walk by, they don't stop and buy something. It's really pathetic today.

On another note, I'm quite nervous for the first semester results, especially for that one subject. The rest are all alright, like I know I didn't fail but like just that ONE subject..so worried and the results are out in more than 2 weeks time. Sort of anxious but yet don't really care anymore sort of feeling. I wish I really didn't have to care. So many things on my mind..



About time I blogged again, yes?
Finished exams last Thursday now so I have holidays now. The plan is to slack this week and then start looking for a job starting next Monday. When it comes to looking for this new job, it's depends on mood :/ Somedays are just like "Yes, I will go do it!" other times which is most of the time it's a "mehh, I don't want to go into that kind of environment". A lot of mixed feelings on this one..Anyway, exam results are out on 15 July if I didn't get it wrong. I have to admit I think I started a bit too late and thought I had enough time when I didn't. This time's exam period was crazy mostly because nothing was really going into my head. Everything just sort of went in and came back out again. There is that one subject I'm really worried about because the written exam is 80% of the final mark but I'm not sure I even passed that. Sigh..for the rest, I guess I can say I tried my best already. Walked out of this exam feeling quite..whatever-ish. I didn't come out each paper and think I failed but whether or not I do well is a different thing altogether. Every time I walk out of an exam hall not panicked is a bad thing..I always do badly when it's like that.

Anyway, hope everyone in Singapore is well, despite the crazy haze that hit PSI 400 :X Happy to know that at least the haze has died down quite a bit. I think we used to complain when the PSI hit 60+ but now that the PSI is back down to 100+, we're all happy haha the irony.

Might decide to go shopping tomorrow. Hopefully will get my new phone tomorrow too. Bye for now!



It's been another long while. It's the exam period now and my first exam's actually tomorrow morning but I just can't seem to focus now so thus the blog post.

In primary school, there was a teacher(invigilator) who ever told us something before the exam. She said something like "of course God wants to help you but if you don't help yourself first, then why should God help you". So well..studying for exams is important, because God isn't going to drop every single answer in your head if you haven't studied either.

This studying period has been crazy so far. Firstly, the exam timetable isn't good(although at least I don't have multiple papers in one day). Secondly..when I study now, nothing is really going INTO my head. It just goes in and out and stays that way. It's like my brain memory space is used up and I can't accept anymore info than what I already know. Will be done with exams in a bit more than a week. Now I wonder how I survived in the past with 2 papers of different subjects in a day. HOW? Old habits live long, I still can't concentrate on just studying, when it gets boring my mind just wanders for a few hours-.- It's so hard studying for something that you must apply that seems common sense but when you're doing it you actually have to know what you're doing/writing about. Everything seems distracting now..gahhh why am I so distracted!!>.<

First exam tomorrow is my longest exam this time, it's 3 hours(but you can leave if you finish early). I don't know what to think of it to be honest. The sample questions provided were alright but still I have no confidence. Neither do I have any confidence for the exam the day after. Second exam is a lot of bio stuff and all the receptors and systems which is not sitting very well in my head, so I consider that as incomplete studying. Don't even know how I'm going to finish memorising all of it after my first exam tmr.

There are some things you can use logic to solve but a lot of other things..if you don't know them, you just don't.

Sigh..more studying..



Suddenly decided to check out my blog viewer stats and then clicked on the entry points. Amazingly it came to a post of kimjaejae and 2D class chalet. Reading the english there made me cringe a little. Can't believe I used to type stuff like that and think it was ok. It's been what..5 years since then(that was end of 2008) I guess the "cutesy" language was all the rage then? Or maybe it was just at that age everything goes a bit haywire haha. A lot of "mannnn" and "kaes" and weird stuff like that -.- 5 years from now and I'll probably look back at this post and think I'm typing like a kid. 



Suddenly felt many emotions welling up and memories started playing out in my head.
Remembered all the stupid things I did, the stupid things I said, the stupid things I promised. I would never have admitted this in the past because I never realised it but I was a biatch. Seriously. Thinking about it now, I really do think I was quite immature and selfish, and it's no wonder to me now why there were a few people who didn't like me. I thought I was cool and definitely not proud. Now, thinking back, I think I really liked to show off. Sigh..so many things I did wrong and stupid and behaved foolishly. Through it all, I'm very thankful for the friends that have stood by my more bitchy teenage days and I really cherish our relationships. Thanks for always being there for me, even when I was..not likeable and was willing to be my friend. Thanks for everything, I love you! <3 p="">
On another note, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! :D Love you, mummy!



Love like fire
Has taken hold of me.



The novelty of having the blogger app has worn off, been busy recently so..no post. It's been what..3 months? 오랜만에.
I actually have tons of work to get through but then I don't have any motivation :/ uni is not as fun as it sounds.

Sigh..I don't know what to post about either..





不出席的大笨蛋



싫어
다 싫어




I think I've lost almost all motivation to blog now. It's been quite a few years now that I've had this blog and I'm not ready to delete it but yet I don't have the kick and drive to blog. Maybe because I don't have anything interesting going on in my life, and also because I don't have many readers anyway. But then again, I didn't start my blog to get people to read about my life.

I'm so bored and I don't even know what I'm doing my life. Even until now, I'm still not sure if I picked the right course for me. Sigh.



Not Black, yet not White, Grey.



Just did the most stupid thing in my life-.-
It's even worse than the 2 times I walked into a glass panel-.-
It is so cringe-worthy and embarrassing that I keep using the -.- face because I can't even describe the feeling.
I threw the wrong thing..into the public bin..the kind where you can't take anything out even if you want to-.-
Biggest blonde moment EVER(sorry to all blondes ok, I just meant I did something so..stupid)
I'm not even going to say what I threw into the bin because I'll feel like the biggest idiot on Earth-.- REALLY SO DARN STUPID FAROUTTTTT!!!



I probably shouldn't be posting now at work but then..no customers are walking into the shop at all..sigh

Was thinking about stuff on the train journey to work today.
What do you consider a good friend or a close friend? When we were kids, being someone's best friend probably meant knowing all the little details of that friend(like their favourite colour for example), memorising their number and playing together a lot (no innuendo intended). But then as I grew older, I think that definition of a good friend has changed. I don't think I know that many tiny little details about my close friends. Even I don't know those tiny little details about me. Like what's my favourite colour? I don't know LOL depends on my mood and the weather I guess, I don't really have a favourite colour anymore. Anyway, back to the main point, I think as I grow older, a best friend means someone who has my absolute trust and someone I can share anything with. There can be tons of little facts you know about acquaintances but I guess if you can't share some things with them, you wouldn't consider them friends. Then again, I think you really know who may be your friends for life(quite literally) when you can disappear for a long period of time, say a year, and still be able to talk with them comfortably. Every time I head back to Singapore, when I meet my friends, it feels like we're just continuing where we left off, like I never left at all, which is kind of touching in that sense I guess. I can't find a friend like that here. It's been what, 3 years(start of the 4th year now)? Sure I have friends but once the holidays start, it's as quiet as a deserted wasteland or something. The people whom I thought I was close to just don't feel close enough if that even makes sense. Maybe because all the people I'm making friends with are at least a full year older than me, I don't know. In all seriousness, I really miss my friends. I miss just taking a bus to get out of the house. I miss going crazy together, I really do. My dad's going to take his citizenship test sometime this year, and my mum's not taking it yet. As for me, I have to do it on my own now since I'm legally an adult. But then do I really want to? Australia is nice, it really is, but then the friends I make just seem..distant no matter how close we may appear to be. And it's not like I'm planning to go back to Singapore to work because I don't see any future in my profession in Singapore. Recently I've been seriously thinking about uni. I don't even know why I chose this course now. At first when I chose it and got in, I guess I was relieved in a way because I guess I don't really have an interest in commerce. But after studying one year, I can say I don't know where I'm heading. I enjoy uni, like the stuff we learn is interesting but about the profession itself, then I'm not so sure. People keep telling my mum that I should quickly try to get a job in a pharmacy because it's now quite hard to find a job there and I need experience, the more the better. And so, my mum has been nagging me now to go to some shopping centre pretty far away to hand in my resume to the 'busiest place in Melbourne' or something like that. I'm really doubting my career choice to be honest. I just got a job one and a half months ago and now you're telling me to abandon ship and get another job? If you didn't know, I'm currently working for my parents' friend from church, aunty E. She was nice enough to take me in without any experience. She's not paying me a lot and has me work almost every day but the fact that I got my first job with her is good enough. I can't just abandon ship now after just one and a half months?! Yes, I will look for another job this year but now just isn't the time. For some reason, I'm starting to dread what my future life may look like.



Just encountered a difficult customer. Mother an daughter pair, both pretty old, mother being nicer and more reasonable than her daughter..
They said they bought something before Christmas and it doesn't work no matter which phone they try it on. They demanded a refund without a receipt and the daughter claimed to have thrown the receipt away since she didn't think that she would have to bring it back. First of all, which shop can give you a refund when you don't have the receipt-.- want a refund then keep your receipt!! The daughter literally shouted her story at least 5 times consecutively why I should give her a refund and said if I don't give a refund then she will take this further. Like what, sue us? Break or damage the shop or products? Her mum said that she spent $30 on it and it was a lot of money for her daughter. Well from the clothes they were wearing and how they mentioning spending a lot of money in the shop before Christmas, I highly doubt so. If $30 is a lot to you then a court summon would probably get you bankrupt then? You want my pity or empathy? Sorry you get none. It's not like they were beggars or something. Even if the daughter worked part time at a supermarket or something, she would definitely get $30 in at most 3 hours considering her age. The minimum pay per hour in Australia that I have heard if so far is $8 an hour. Therefore if she works anywhere, I can confirm that $30 isn't considered that much. Before I started working, $30 was a lot but then that was because I ha literally nothing and had to ask my parents for money. Now that I'm working, I can get $30 in 3-4 hours, so how much is $30 to her? She's not in rags, has a boyfriend so what in the world is $30?! I think her mother also couldn't stand her yelling her story so many times(in the exact same phrasing somemore) and told her to shut up lolol. Gave her the refund in cash and then they finally left. Worst thing is, after they left when I checked the product to see if it works with my iPod or not(it's supposed to work with mp3, mobile phones or laptops), it freaking works. Looks like those people don't know about an ON AND OFF SWITCH that exists in our modern society and neither did they try looking for one. Should have tried it in front of them and make the daughter shut up-.- if only I checked their claims earlier..the daughter actually looks older than my mum ok, like what is this-.- so ridiculous!!!



It is the last hour of 2012 (At least in Melbourne that is) and I thought it appropriate to post.
I know I mentioned 2 posts ago that I had a lot if things to post about and I would post it soon but unfortunately..this forgetful person here has forgotten what she was supposed to post about..for now, a new years eve post will suffice.

A lot has happened this year 2012 and already so quickly this year is coming to an end in 55minutes. I would say 2012 is definitely one of the years that I will not forget because so much has happened this year it isn't a year that will be wiped clean from memory. I wouldn't say 2012 started well for me. Not doing as well as I expected to in my exam just left me in a quite dejected mood. Regardless, my dad suggested to take the train to the city to watch the fireworks there so that's how we welcomed 2012. After attempting to look for a job and finally giving up in the holidays at the start of the year, I pretty much slacked for the entire holiday until the last week before uni started. Suddenly we received a call from my uncle informing is of my ahgong's passing. Rushed back the day after the call, the Saturday just before uni started. Came back after the wake and tarted uni. Lode went on and during Easter my dad brought us somewhere..and again informed of the death of another relative, this time of my dad's cousin's wife and eldest teenage son. Not to mention also, Whitney houston's death also shocked many this year. Had also been hearing from quite a few people about the death of their relatives, most of them losing a grandparent. (the phrasing for that last sentence was a bit awkward, sorry..not going to think how to phrase it now)
Not to forget, the several dates where the world was predicted to end. December 21 2012..guess what, the world's still spinning, lives are still moving on.

There are many things that have happened this year that I'm really thankful for and i'm glad to say I don't think I did much that I was regretful about. Hopefully next year will be a good year and I will blog again tmr.
For now,
A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR, HAPPY 2013. May God's name be glorified and may many more people learn of His name and His love in the new year. Have a blesses year ahead!



MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND ENJOY THE TIME WITH YOUR FAMILIES!! Ok I don't know why I typed in caps..but uh, you get my point :D



I actually have a lot to post about but I'm just too lazy/tired at the moment to do any real blogging for now..so bye and anticipate my next post hahah



If I could, I would fly to the moon right now.

Results are out earlier than the date given to us but at least I won't spend the first day of work fretting. I did the same as the first semester but different arrangement of grades. For the subject I was fretting about and worrying about so much, I passed and did quite well surprisingly. But really, I'm so so happy that I didn't fail that subject. Thank You God for answering my prayers.

First day of work tomorrow. Hopefully I learn everything quickly and be able to be a reliable worker ;D Must now go find out how to get there..but as of now, life's good :D



I'm feeling very..conflicted right now.
I want to be happy but yet I feel uneasy and apprehensive.
Reason for being happy? I got a job, like finally. Not going to disclose much but it's not at a pharmacy. Not going to reveal anymore, but if you really want to know then ask me personally. I am really happy I am hired. Finally I can start earning some money for myself so I don't have to keep asking my parents for money when I want to buy something or when I'm going out. Looks like I'll be able to go to the uni ball next year ;D

Uneasy because..exam results are out this coming monday, 3rd of Dec. Screwed up 1 exam but that may be enough to make me stay back a year to redo that subject. And also this from the intranet..

"Students who fail 25% (1 unit) in a semester will be required to see the Unit Coordinator of the failed unit. A form will need to be signed by the Unit Coordinator and returned to Academic and Student Services before Week 3 of the following semester. "
Basically..you see the unit coordinator and tell them why you failed and probably why you deserve the chance to retake the subject again or something like that I think. I am praying so hard that I didn't fail. I think I have about 30-35% from other assignments. Not sure what the passing mark is but the exam constitutes 60% of the final mark so I need 20% out of the 60% to get 50% overall. Not sure what the passing mark is(I think it's 48% or something like that?) Well, hopefully I didn't fail too badly at the exam :/ Darn psychology..
The other subjects, I guess I walked out feeling quite good, knowing I  probably did my best. Not sure about how to results will come out though. Every time I walk out of an exam feeling happy and satisfied, the results always come out below my expectations. I think there's a set of results for another test out already but I can't seem to see it or find the folder for it. I'm not sure if it's already out(although I think it is) and I can't access it for some reason. It doesn't show up in my 'grades' folder..so strange because I remember how my friends were talking about how badly they did? I feel worried, I really do.



Struck lottery and posting twice a day?
I didn't realise I already posted this morning but whatever, another post won't kill.

It has suddenly hit me that I am actually not good at anything in particular.
In school, despite it being a bilingual school, the students' command of both English and Chinese was neither very good nor very bad. Speaking in general here, because there are definitely some who are very good in either. Me being the average or even below average student is fluent in both English and Chinese but I cannot safely say that I have mastered either.
This doesn't end with my command of languages. Even though I play at least 2 instruments(attempting to learn one more now), I cannot say I have mastered either one. Both are somewhat there, neither excellent nor terrible.
It's like everything is hanging in limbo, being neither good nor bad and in that sense I guess I haven't found what I am good at.
How do I stand out from the crowd? At the moment, I believe I'm overshadowed in every single aspect.



So fed-up right now.
Writing up my resume so I can finally go get a job and I am getting so fed-up with it.
First of all, there isn't really much to put on it other than my academic stuff. I have no work experience nor do I have any references. Even volunteer work..the only volunteer work I ever remember doing was CIP - cleaning beaches, visiting a children's home, hanging up national flags at a HDB block for national day and hamper wrapping, and to be honest, that's it. I don't have anything else and all the CIP that I've ever done is not even relevant to what I'm applying for. Also, all the CIP activities were done more than 3 years ago. I have nothing. Singapore education has never prepared me for half studying and half working. I didn't even have to work during holidays in Singapore because holidays were spent studying, doing holiday homework and cca. Can't I just honestly tell the interviewer about this? I was actually planning to put my high school teachers contacts. I asked my friend about it and she thought it would be weird if I was already past 1st year uni but still using high school teacher contacts. She thought using uni lecturers or tutors would be more appropriate. But then, my lecturers or tutors don't even know of my existence!! Should I still email and ask anyway? I was thinking maybe I could email one of the lecturers because I did quite well in the assignments, but then I realised that's the subject which I screwed up the exam, maybe not such a good idea since he would probably look it up to see what he could say. Furthermore, he's not a full-time lecturer. So again, I'm stuck in a rut.  I googled about the lack of work experience and they said you can put volunteer work instead, or odd jobs like baby-sitting. But then again, it's not very relevant at all to what I'm applying for-.- Then I googled about the lack of references. They said you could use personal references such as family friends who can testify your character and how you work. But then it was also said that use of personal references should be minimised and emphasis on those are often not taken into account. I read somewhere that sometimes if you blow the interviewer away at the interview, they often won't ask for the references.
I honestly feel like coming clean and telling the interviewers that I don't have any work experience whatsoever, nor do I have any references, but I'm willing to work hard to prove myself given the chance.

I texted another friend about what she put on hers(she got a job recently) and she also said she had no work experience and had nothing on her resume(although I do think she has some work experience from year10 that was..compulsory if I'm not wrong). Asked her about the work experience part and the references part. Hopefully she sees it soon.
If I really can't write up a resume, then I guess I'll have to volunteer somewhere.



Today's weather is HOTHOTHOT!! High of 34 degrees today. It's the kind of weather where you don't feel like doing anything. This apparently is a behavioral mechanism with regards to body temperature regulation. Less movement means less heat production, preventing increase of the body's core temperature.

Anyway, something funny happened last Thursday. My mum brought my brother(year 7) for some trial Maths tuition and then having nothing better to do, I tagged along. We walked into the room and then the tutor was like uh..so who is here for the trial? Hahaha so do I look that young or does my brother look matured or both..

I know there's a lack of structure and flow in this post but whatever, I shall blame the weather.



Exams are over, it's the holidays and I have time on my hands so, why not blog?
Talking about exams..I really feel uneasy about my results. They're not out yet but I still feel..very uneasy about it.

Anyway, it is really about time I started blogging again after the crazy exam study period.
I owe my friend a birthday letter and I still haven't gotten down to writing it yet because I can't find some stuff..argh I really have to start doing something before I waste my entire life away.
Need to finish my resume this weekend and start the job hunting next week. My mum keeps bugging me to quickly get one before all the spots are taken. I think the only reason why I keep putting it off is firstly, my resume is so empty and..embarrassing if you think about it. Other than academic qualifications, nothing else is worth putting on it. Secondly, I'm so worried about the interview. Generally I'm terrible at spontaneous replies. I'm just hoping that the place that I apply will take me even though I don't have any work experience or whatsoever. One thing Singapore education didn't exactly prepare students for. Well, in Singapore it makes sense to not work until after A levels but over here, people start working early and rack up all types of work experience. It's so hard><

Anyway, I was thinking about something the other day and it hit me that it's interesting how our brains register something as funny and trigger laughter. There are many different types of things that make us laugh, different things for different people but how do we determine if something is funny or not? Do we learn to tell what is funny or not funny?



It's been quite a while since I updated.
Exams finished on monday, so in short, I've been doing nothing for this entire week. Well, not exactly nothing haha. Packed my room and when I say pack up I mean like take everything of the shelves and out of the drawers and start packing again. One thing to note..I have so much stuff. Dug out a lot of things that had sentimental value to me and reading all of it just made me smile and think how blessed I am for the friends God has put in my life. Sure I've met a few unpleasant people along the way, misunderstandings formed in some friendships and now I can safely say it was all worth it. Without meeting those unpleasant people and having the misunderstandings that I did, I would not have the same close friends I have today. I'm a person that values sentimental stuff a lot, like I keep letters and birthday letters from my friends (I even have a metal box for it haha). I even have some notes we ever passed in class. Digging all of it out and taking a look at those things again makes me miss them so much more.

I also finished watching Iljimae, the Lee JunKi version. Can I say, I do not regret spending 20 hours of my life watching that drama. This is one of the dramas that made me cry and laugh throughout. I started the drama on wednesday I think and then already from episode 1 I started crying because it's so..sad and touching. The child actors are really good, especially the boy that acted as the young Lee Geom. No show ever has made me cry in the first episode, not even One Litre of Tears, and this drama definitely caught my attention from the first episode. I have no idea why people find the first 5 episodes or so boring. The OSTs are so sad but beautiful at the same time. I really wouldn't mind watching this again. I took really long to decide what show to watch because nowadays, most of the taiwanese dramas have storylines that are very..typical? I don't really know how to describe them but they don't have storylines that get your attention from the first episode. Don't think I'll watch any taiwanese dramas in the meantime, even the older ones. Not even planning to watch sunshine angel that I planned to watch ages ago, it has my favourite singers/actors in it but the storyline just doesn't sound interesting. Should I watch The Return of Iljimae? Somehow, Lee JunKi is stuck in my head as THE Iljimae and he doesn't act in The Return of Iljimae. Dara has a small feature in it though :/ Should I watch it? I read somewhere that JunKi's version of Iljimae was more action-packed and has an older demographic whereas The Return of Iljimae is for a younger group of people. Went to read some reviews about Iljimae and quite a few of them say the script was messed up? I thought it was pretty ok/good. One thing most of the reviews put down as the good points was the acting, and that one I do agree. The acting was so real that I sort of thought they were the actual characters themselves, I thought it was really convincing. Meanwhile, shall watch the latest episode of running man! hahhaha



Casually posting during dinner since I haven't posted in quite a while..ok maybe just over a week. The past week I've been attempting to study, notice the word attempting. No idea why but I've lost every single bit of motivation to study now..how easily I get distracted just shocks me. I think I know my stuff for tomorrow's exam so hopefully I won't be thrown off my feet and walk out confidently knowing I did well. I've never felt this calm before exams before..really worrying considering this is the day before my fort exam. To be honest, I haven't even started studying for my other exams a next week. More crazy cramming coming up so won't be blogging anytime until 12 nov. To all A level takers, all the best!!



It has been a very uneventful birthday today, not that I was expecting any surprises.
It is quite sad that no one from my high school has wished me happy birthday yet. Today is ending in 3 hours and I haven't got a single one from people I called my 'close friends'. Maybe they forgot, or they remembered the wrong day or something? Somehow people keep remembering my birthday at october 20-something. No..it's not. Especially one of them..I thought we were pretty close and during my high school reunion she mentioned the exact number of days left till my birthday, but then how come today..ohwell, I shall not let myself get too disappointed about this because there is more.

First happy birthday came from zoenin in facebook messages. Second from my dad on iMessages. Third, surprisingly, from a uni friend by text. I find it EXTREMELY ironic how I only told maybe 1 friend from uni when my birthday is and I get a text message from another person while my high school friend publicly declared my birthday when nobody knew(so technically all of them know now) and I haven't received a single message. Hmm..interesting. Got to uni(had a test today-.-) and the birthday wishes started pouring down haha. I had no idea everyone knew, I don't even know how..

Most disappointing thing was when I got home. Turns out because my brother wants to learn baseball, he went to a baseball practice thing at 5 and came back at like..7+ I think. In then end, no cake and no eating out, and here I am, going to end my birthday listening to my lecturer talk about pregnancy and lactation just like a usual friday night. I didn't want my birthday to be a big deal in school/uni but like at least at home would be nice you know, just saying. Instead, our activities have to revolve around my brother, yea thanks so much. I could have found someone to go out and eat dinner with and sort of celebrate, but I didn't, just to come home and slack off and help to cook my own dinner. It was only until 8+ that my mum asked whether I wanted to go out and get a cake and I was like...what shop is open for you to buy a cake at this hour. Yes I do appreciate the effort my mum tried to put in but it seems sort of insensitive to ask whether or not I want to get a cake when there probably isn't going to be a store open. My mum actually wanted my dad to drive her out to buy a cake but my dad said the same thing and refused to drive. So in the end, we're going to buy a cake tomorrow and go out for dinner. I think I'm sort of anal about celebrating birthdays ON the birthday itself but, what can I do? My family isn't the kind to plan surprises, nor do they place a strong emphasis on birthdays because..it's just a birthday. Celebrating early or late doesn't really matter. I wouldn't argue with this if my birthday was on a weekday but today is friday..and it's my 18th...I'm sorry and I know I sound spoilt saying this but I'm going to say it anyway. It's my 18th birthday, why does my birthday have to revolve around what my brother wants to do? All my friends were asking what I'm going to do tonight and I said nothing, because that's how my family celebrates birthdays. It's always a cake just before we go to sleep and that's it for a birthday. For the first time ever, I don't have a cake on my birthday. Way to remember my 18th?

Just logged into facebook and saw that I got a message from my senior haha, I'm quite surprised to see it since he's quite busy. But then again, my birthday isn't that hard to remember for band members because I have the same birthday as the conductor! Happy birthday ms chan!



So..this will be my last post ever as a 17-year-old.
5 minutes to midnight now. Do I sound like I'm anticipating it? I'm not, really.
Truthfully, tomorrow will just pass like any other day and I might even forget that it's my birthday.
I think in the recent years, my parents have been more excited about my birthday than I have been. Just now, my parents asked whether I wanted to go out with friends or do something tomorrow. Well, I don't think my friends know when's my birthday and I don't exactly want them to know. Turned off my facebook timeline. Hmm, I don't think I'll do anything special tomorrow. Go to uni for a test, come home, slack off, maybe do some work, and there you go, a perfectly ordinary friday night. No wild crazy 18th party for me. I'm not the crazy party type where everyone gets drunk.
2 minutes to midnight now, I better read up my prac manual for the test tomorrow><





So many happenings in the span of 2 hours today..I'm so tired physically right now-.-

First of all, IT'S WUZUN'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!! Hahah it's been quite a few years now and it's been getting harder to follow his news since he sort of disappeared from the media's radar..but anyway, happy birthday to him! So many people have the 1010 birthday. Ok, maybe not that many but quite a few. It's wuzun's birthday, miss A's Suzy(she's the same age as me :O) and my friend from uni's birthday! Mine's coming up soon too, but honestly, I don't want anybody to know..I don't know why but I want it kept..private, I don't need surprises or presents on my birthday. I think at the moment, the people who know my birthday are my closest friends and my parents. No, not my entire family knows because..my brother is not cool and doesn't know when my birthday is-.- it was quite a shock when I was having a prac today and a friend came up and said that my birthday's coming p really soon too. I almost does of a heart attack, because I was looking at the lay day of this semester(which also happens to be my birthday) and then she asked of that was my birthday and I can't..lie about it can I? So I told her yes and I can't believe she remembers it till now..really hope she doesn't tell other people when it is. If I could, I wouldn't even turn up on my birthday but then..I have a test on that day...

Anyway, on to what made me so tired. The genius that I am forgot to bring my Myki(public transport card - same thin as the ez-link card) and when I was going home(about 5) just before I was going to tap my card, I realised my card wasn't in my bag. Being the klutz that I am, I immediately sat down somewhere and rummaged in my bag, even resorting to taking everything out and putting everything back in again. Of course, it was sitting at home and I couldn't find it, so I thought it dropped somewhere. I immediately caught a tram back to uni, searched near some areas in uni where I sat down and found nothing. With nothing I can do, I caught the tram again and headed back to the train station(melb central), hoping I can buy a metcard(a paper ticket system the government is trying to phase out). The metcard is a paper ticket that you can buy before each trip you travel. And as they are trying to stop that system and move to Myki, which is the same system as the ez-link cards, they don't sell those cards anymore. Went to the customer service to ask, only to be told I have to get another myki so i can get home. Not willin to spend so much money, I walked the distance of 5 tram stops o another big train station(flinders st) to see if they still sold metcards. They didn't, so i went to catch a tram again since some of the old ones still have the machines that sell the metcards. Little did I know, the machine only accepts coins and I only have notes. Attempted to change money with passengers on the tram and I was pleasantly surprised haha. Asked this man if he had coin change for $10. I needed $6.50 in coins for the metcard an since Australia doesn't have $2 notes, he had to give me all in coins. He literally dug in all of his pockets to see of he had change. Turns out he only had $4 in coins and told me it's ok to take it if it was enough(without giving him back any money). I gave it back to him since it wasn't enough and thanked him. Asked a woman after that and she emptied her entire wallet coin pocket for me, counting all her 10 and 20 cents for me. In the end she was short by a dollar and then somehow I ended up with $4 from her. Thanked her profusely and decided to risk buying the cheaper concession ticket for kids under 17. Bought the ticket, got off and went to the station(melb central) and put my card in. Put the card in, and the machine said "no trips left" and I was wondering why. Took the card back and saw the EXPIRED on it-.- I feel so cheated..in Facebook terms, I was trolled. Seriously, I was panicking and thinking I finally found a way to get home and I'm told my ticket is expired..no choice but to buy a full fare Myki card and spent $10. But then, at least I got home and found my card. I was praying so hard on the train that my card wasn't lost but at home, so praise God!

To the gentleman and the lady who tried so hard to find change for me and volunteered to just give me the money, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. It's just a small gesture and although you'll probably never see me again or read this, I was really touched by your actions and so once again, thank you so so so much for trying to help!



Ok, here I am posting again as if I've nothing better to do, but really though, I've tons of things to do. Just had to go crazy over some things hahaha.

Firstly, 빅뱅 is currently in Singapore, in the midst of their alive tour concert at this moment in time. AHHHHHHH>< And here I am, not doing much with my life. Maknae Seungri who is 3 years older than me has already earned millions and here I am, slacking my life away. So ironic how I like them now and then they hold their first south-east asian concert leg and have 2 concert nights in Singapore when I'm not there now. I was thinking if only I was in Singapore but then again, I would be studying for A lvls at this time of the year, so not really much hope of seeing them just yet lol. Tickets are expensive though. Ticket prices start at $128. I remember the Fahrenheit one starting at $68 or $78 I think. But then now that I think about it, it's been 4 years already. Inflation maybe? Watched a few of the alive tours already performed on youtube and yea, it's quite similar I guess, just without the thrill of being in the crowd and being able to see them with your own eyes and breathe the same air hahahha.

Second thing I have to mention is, that 炎亞綸's new EP/album is going to be officially released on my birthday! No kidding. I've always seen facebook comments on singers promotion pictures that the albums are released on their birthday and now finally, there's one released on my birthday!! HAHHAHA.

Ok, enough of going crazy for today. I know I said a week ago that I would post about the testimony that I heard but I haven't got down to doing that yet. I'll have to do that when I'm free, not at the moment. Maybe I'l try to type a bit every day. We'll see. Have a calculations test this coming tuesday. Second day we're back in uni and they have to have a test that requires 80% to pass. It's open book though, so I hope I'll do well. That elusive full mark is really..elusive.



Like today's weather, I've been feeling sort of grey, gloomy and rainy today. 不知为什么，心里就是觉得空虚虚的。

Went to a birthday dinner buffet last night. So many people went, as many as 40 I believe, all but one are older than me. Well considering that they were celebrating two peoples' birthday, I guess it's reasonable for that size. Anyway, I know both birthday girls from high school and so there were quite a few of them from high school and a few boys. Some of the girls I'm quite close to I guess. But then I found it so tiring last night, just trying to socialize and catchup with what's going on in their life. I found myself shrinking as the night went on, maybe also due to the fact that I woke up at 7 in the morning. Went to sleep once I got home.

Today though, I'm still feeling an emptiness. Maybe it's the hormones going mad or something but I still feel the same as last night. Not much joy or enthusiasm in doing anything, not even for eating(with regard to buffet last night). So tired of socializing, so tired of forcing myself to study, so tired of everything. Feeling so lonely in this world somehow. Yes I have friends here, yes I contact my friends in Singapore, yes I still contact my best friends, but yet I feel alone, like some void. Is God going to fill that void? I don't know, maybe my hormones are really going mad. I haven't even contacted my 'close-friend' from uni yet this week. She has contacted me either, maybe because she doesn't really use Facebook or something. Anyway, end of this emo post, have to listen to at least one more lecture before I sleep tonight!



Not been posting for a week or so, been trying to catch up with lectures but obviously not really working haha.

Anyone keeping up with kpop news will know about seungri's scandals, yes with an 's'. There's been like 2 in such a short period of time. Well in the first scandal, apparently he had intercourse with a woman who took pictures of him while he was sleeping(topless) and revealed some really weird supposedly 'sexual habits' that he had. Well honestly, if you tip your head to the right to look at the picture of the sleeping face, it doesn't really look like him..like the face shape doesn't look right, or maybe it's just me. Although I don't support celibacy, he's an adult that can be responsible for his own actions so I guess in a sense, I'm not that concerned whether or not it's true. Didn't see an official statement from YG about this translated on websites so I'm not sure if they've made an official statement about it. Second scandal was a Japanese actress/model hugging and kissing him in the late night. I watched the video and well, she hugged him and kissed him but he didn't have any reaction. He didn't push her away or hug her/kiss he back. It said somewhere that she was drunk? So awkward at this part in the video where the girl adjusts her clothes before leaving the karaoke lounge and she just pulls her dress down slightly and revealing her chest..but anyway, it was published by apple daily from Taiwan. Trust taiwan's paparazzi...taiwan I still love you but I have no respect for your paparazzi I'm sorry. YG made an official statement saying nothing scandal worthy was done that night. Funny how everyone shut up after that. All it requires is A sentence. Interesting to see how private lives are invaded just because they're famous.

On another note, saw 2 articles that caught my eye yesterday on yahoo. One was about how science may one day prove God doesn't exist. Well, you don't exactly see people looking for how science does prove that God exists do you. Like my previous post about how tree is some sort of physical proof of God's existence? What are the chances that a big bang occurs that can create one planet out of 8(used to be 9) that has perfect conditions to support life? Why do some people want to believe so badly that God doesn't exist? Let's move on to the second article now. Some Harvard researcher examined some fragment that showed that early Christians believed Jesus had a wife because apparently the fragment says that Jesus said 'my wife' 'can be my disciple' or something like that. First of all, the bible never said Jesus had a wife. How is it possible for Jesus who is God himself to marry a sinful human? And in Hebrews 5:8-10, God appointed Jesus as a high priest with his obedience. Being the Son, he would obey his Father and therefore obey the 10 commandments. God doesn't allow celibacy, do you think Jesus would commit Celibacy? I don't think so.

Heard a testimony from a guy that God literally rise him front the dead. When everyone gave up on him, God revived him. Shall share about it in a post tomorrow.



Blogging at this unearthly hour is unhealthy. Really. I have no idea why I am posting now at 1am. Didn't post over the weekend so maybe my hands are getting itchy.

Went jogging/walking when I got back from uni today. Time to start exercising since spring has started and it's not that cold anymore. I used to complain about PE and didn't enjoy it much(especially 2.4) but now I guess I sort of appreciate the government's efforts in incorporating PE into the curriculum. In Melbourne once you get to the senior years o high school, you no longer have compulsory PE lessons and lazy people like me just don't exercise at all except for those once a year sport events. When you get to uni it's even worse. You eat outside more for lunches and obviously don't have PE. A lot of people here go jogging and swimming regularly but not having that kind of lifestyle, I just sit at home all day sitting and hermit-ing around the house. Realized how bad my stamina is now. Think I shall work toward building it up again, about my previous standard 2 and a half years ago? I read somewhere that when you have more muscles you have a higher metabolism so you tend to burn up more calories even at rest. Well, for now just trying to build up some stamina and then next will be abs haha. Not like rock hard pacs but more toned? I think it is slightly unsightly to wear tighter shirts and have a bulge sitting there, especially now since summer is coming and well, you wear less material compared to winter where you're all covered up.

Was thinking about stuff in the shower(lol I'm weird it's ok..) I think I blogged about this before but I'll just talk about it since it's stuck in my head. Anyway, when I went back last year, I went to this church gathering thing for the helpers of the kids church and then we were doing some worksheet that was involved in the game that we played. Anyway, there was a question on the worksheet in Chinese asking you to classify certain materials and there was 橡皮 on it. Although being quite certain 橡皮 is rubber, it din't fit on the flow chart and I asked to double check what it was. This older girl answered me and told me 橡皮 is plastic..and then she said in a sort of superior voice that she confirmed it was correct and she was from some JC(I don't remember which one, but it was quite good I think). Now that I keep thinking of it, it's so funny lol. Can you imagine a 橡皮袋?!! A 橡皮擦 is called 橡皮擦 for a reason, it's called a rubber, I'm pretty sure 塑胶 is plastic. Anyway, stupidly I accepted what she said hahah but anyway, anyone reading this will now know that 橡皮 is rubber and 塑胶 is plastic.

Alright, shall end here for today. Going to dreamland!





EEEEEEnteresting statistics I have for this blog. Yes I know I spelt 'interesting' wrong there.

So weird..I have 2 page views from people who searched 'your butt has touched me most 9gag' like what?! I don't think I have a picture from 9gag that came with those words. Don't have that many readers since I started this long time ago when everyone had a blog and I don't think my life is that interesting that many people will read about it. 21 pageviews from singapore, and I have readers from Russia, Australia, Germany, US, China and Mexico(in order of decreasing pageviews) I didn't even know about this stats thing until recently. Obviously I haven't been exploring the new blogger dashboard layout.

Really tired today. Had a test today and it went well so..at least my lack of sleep paid off.
Was going to finish studying one topic each day since monday but that obviously didn't work out very well since I had to stay until 11.30pm the night before and wake up at 5.30am to actually finish studying all the notes. Arrived in uni at 8.30am, skipped 2 lectures to study some more and look through the tute sheets and the workshop I had yesterday.

I really shouldn't be complaining because all my friends(in Singapore) are probably only getting 3-4 hours sleep just studying for prelims and preparing for A's. It's so soon I can't believe it. That would be me now if I didn't move. Till today, I still believe I wouldn't have survived if I stayed. I think coming to melbourne has made me mature a lot in regards of motivation. Went to a pretty good high school but then kinda slacked off without the motivation. I wasn't doing well, I wasn't really paying attention in class and all those kind of things. When I came here, everything changed. In a sense, things seemed more achievable than it is in Singapore. I guess that made me feel more motivated to study hard and to actually do well and aim high, because no matter how high I aimed in Singapore, I never ever met my goal. To date, the only time I have met my goal in terms of academic results would probably be my PSLE result. Everything else hasn't been able to meet up to that yet.

Anyway, sorry for the lack of a picture in this post. Didn't find anything interesting to take pictures of. Weather was so-so today, one minute with the crazy wind and the next with blue sky and sun, that's melbourne weather for you. Apparently the wind's going to be very strong(120km/h) for the next 2 days or so. Every night, the wind's blowing like crazy, it almost feels like the house will start shaking. Maybe that's why I saw 2 ambulances and 1 fire engine drive past uni today. How often do you see so many emergency services dispatched in a day? \

Alright, I'm really sleepy now. Will post again tomorrow, hopefully with a picture too!



Back from uni now, been a long day..especially without my pencil case! Was walking home just now along the train tracks, not the main pathway past the front of houses but by the back and look what I saw! The beauty of God's creation never fails to make me smile(:
Have a good day!



This dumb person here(points to self) forgot to bring her pencil case today, meaning I have no stationary..the lat time I forgot to being my pencil case was like years ago I think..it's been a while. Blogging gin my lecture now because I don't have my notes nd neither do I have my stationary-.- such. Genius, forgetting to do do many things..ok I should start acting attention.



Spring is officially here!! Well, yesterday was the first day of spring but I sort of forgot to post about it. It's really early but I can't get back to sleep due to the chorus of birds outside my window. No kidding. I ever called my friend once on Skype and she was like DO YOU LIVE IN A FOREST?!! So many birds...

Once I get out of bed, the bird chorus stops-.- jut went outside to take some nice pictures and the air is cold and fresh! Wouldn't mind going jogging in this weather. Should probably get some work done since I'm already up.. Have a test on Thursday, not much time left to study..



Finally finished my 2000 word essay! Stayed up till 1am last night finishing up the referencing. I think towards the end my argument points were quite..rubbish. But I finished it before the deadline so..thankful that I managed to finish it on time. Was super malu and didn't know about the declaration for original work. In the end I printed another copy in uni, stuck a note to it and handed in a second copy. Better to be safe than sorry!

Had a lot of free pancakes today too! Uni had free pancakes during lunch and of course I put maple syrup! Then after uni, went to eat free pancakes at pancake parlor. You have to like their page an claim the offer. It's so nice haha. It probably sounds disgusting but pancakes with ice cream and maple syrup is so delicious!

Anyway, why I titled this post realization? I read something online yesterday(while I was supposed to be doing my essay) and one thing was quite interesting really. People who don't believe in God believes our universe began from what is known as the big bang. Scientists may have theorized it and even proven that it is true but what they are unsure of, is why or rather, the cause of the big bang that created the universe one fine day. Did the big bang just happen to occur and just happen to create the universe in which earth is the only planet able to support life? Is it just coincidence that earth is the only planet with an appropriate amount of water and an atmosphere to support life? Is it coincidence that the Earth is located not too far and yet not too near the sun? There was some info about the moon being perfectly sized too but I don't remember the details. On deeper thought, I don't think all this is coincidence. It was made to happen. If not, wouldn't we all exist out of coincidence? In the beginning, God commanded for light and it was given. It wasn't said how but it just did. Maybe the big bang did occur on God's command. Some food for thought(: accompanied by a picture of pancakes!




Spring is here!! Fixed the piasaweb thing and so here's the first of the barrage of pictures that I hope to post in future updates!



Guess I was wrong after all, which is a good thing of course :D

Weather's turning sososo nice. I will go fix the blogger app on my iPod after I finish this post..it's been a bit too long-.- Yay! Then I can post pictures more often! Pictures of..stuff I see around, nature etc.

Apparently it's going to rain tomorrow and it's really cold tomorrow too so boooo):

Anyway, had a single tute today from 3-4pm, and that's my entire timetable for today. For one of the few rare times I actually knew how to do the tute sheet. It's  not a good sign that I'm not sure what I'm doing but I think it's getting better now because I actually know how to do my chem tute sheets with all the mechanisms, determining starting products and products because now I actually get it. Did mechanisms last term too but..I didn't really get it and had to resort to memorising tons of equations that in the end I forgot almost half so..at least now I understand it and can try to end up with some possible product.

Still now done with my essay :/ Finished like a quarter of my last point and the conclusion. I must finish it tonight because I need to start studying for my test next week. Need to edit the answers for some questions for a group assignment also due on friday.

Meeting my primary school friend next thursday! Actually, I think we knew each other since kindergarten. I AM NOT KIDDING. Since K2 to be exact. We were in the same class and then ended going to the same primary school. Was never really THAT close but it's still quite amazing that she remembered me lol. Being very..unpopular in primary school(not like I was extremely popular in high school or over here either), I didn't expect anyone other than less than 10 people to remember me. I actually remember quite a lot of people but I think they probably won't remember/recognise me anymore. I think I've changed so much, character-wise or appearance-wise, I've changed so much I think not many people will recognise me haha. I'll be quite shocked if some people see me in public and actually recognise me haha. Even in sec2/sec3 in chinese tuition I met 3 other guys all my year from the same primary school and I'm quite sure not a single one of them recognised me. I just found one of them on facebook lol. I even remember his full name-.- Only 3 other peihwa people are mutual friends..should I add him? We were even tablemates in P3 I think. Anyway, the friend I'm meeting, I don't she has changed that much honestly. More mature looking, straight hair now, probably still as tall haha (yes she and her twin sister were so tall last time). She has a twin sister haha, don't think I'm going to meet the sister. Was closer to her than to her sister I think. I couldn't tell them apart in primary school lol. Now after a bit of facebook stalking, I realise the way they smile for photos is different haha. Think we're going for churros! :D Quite excited and nervous about the meeting haha. Don't know if I'll have anything interesting to say lol I'm quite a boring person.



Ohyes, before I forget haha
Spotted a double rainbow today! For the first time too! Really clear double rainbow, and then the entire primary rainbow(the obvious one) could be seen. So the entire arch was over the road. It was drizzling slightly, grey skies and the sun from the back. So beautiful haha God's promise ;)



无奈



Downloaded the blogger app on my ipod and tried to post something on it with a picture and it says I have to sign on to picasaweb first..what is that?! I thought it would be more convenient so I don't have to log in all the time and it will be more convenient to post pictures since I take pictures most of the time with my iPod but noooo, now I have to fix the picasaweb thing-.- Going to spend a bomb tomorrow..quite literally. Going out for lunch with my friends tomorrow(XIAO LONG BAO HAHAHA). The food at that shop isn't too expensive..aiming maybe about $10. Then after that, going for coffee at max brenners(I don't even know where the outlet is) with other friends and then going bowling. Bowling itself is..not cheap. Ok to someone who's working will probably find all this reasonable but to the non-working me..it's quite a large spenditure(did I spell it right?!) of money ok! And then getting a lift back from a friend. Yes, I have friends that can drive haha 



Goodness..I really have no comment about one of my lecturers..
The notes he gives don't even make sense and he keeps cancelling lectures and says it's for active learning. In the first lecture, he said, if you don't understand, read your lecture notes. And a few lectures later he says OH you don't need to know this stuff, you just have to understand it. Like SERIOUSLY?!  Even in the lectures, he doesn't even teach properly, like I have not taken a single thing out of his lectures at all. Shall not reveal about his position too much but he is like one of the deans. We don't pay our fees to walk out of every lecture wondering what the heck the lecturer is talking about. First of all, even if you want us to do active learning, give us clear and understandable notes first! Not the notes that you give us with barely any information explaining what is going on. If the whole cohort of students are complaining, shouldn't it be a problem with the lecturer? Even the tute sheet that was uploaded. How are we supposed to do it when everything is so vague? Even the units for measurements aren't even put in WHO IN THE WORLD KNOWS WHAT YOU MEAN?! I can't read your mind, that's for sure. You can have all the knowledge about this topic but you obviously aren't teaching it to us in a comprehensible way. Yes, we shouldn't be spoon-fed but the amount of information you give us is way too little. What do you expect us to do with that meagre bit of information that jumps around everywhere? Even in your lectures you can go from the first page to the last page and back to the middle somewhere. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU-.-



Really shouldn't be blogging(considering I have an oral presentation tmr) but nevertheless, here is another blog post.

I think I really do think a lot. Or maybe I'm just insecure. Or maybe I'm just oversensitive. My friend from uni recently started treating me sort of differently, not like being mean to me but just not as..lively/friendly as when we first became friends. Like with other people she seems quite cheerful and happy but then somehow she seems distant from me. Because she gets off the train stop after mine and we have the same timetable, we usually go home together and for about maybe the past week, we have had almost nothing to say on the train journey home, and in uni I just sit and listen. I'm not exactly her best friend but like I think the friendship is changing? Or am I just thinking too much as usual? I'm quite confused right now. Like I think last thursday, I purposely disappeared to the uni library after lecture and she was walking in front to the tram stop. She texted me about 10minutes later asking where I went, and the next morning I met her on the tram and all was good, and then now it has returned to the slightly awkward atmosphere again. So many questions passing through my mind, some of which are quite stupid..like is she angry at me? Did I do something? Or is she just tired of hanging out with me-.- I think I'm thinking too much right. I keep reassuring myself that I am thinking too much but..it isn't really working. Well, all I can do now is see how it develops.

I'm a pretty slow person also. I'm quite awkward as well, especially with adults, teachers and strangers. I am the kind of person that doesn't know what to say and my slow mind takes a hundred years to think of something to say or a conversation topic-.- Usually before I sleep I think about my day and all the stupid things I did that day haha, and end up regretting a lot of things I said and I even think up funny replies to something someone said that day. Yes, I'm that weird. I don't know why. And just out of the blue, I want to thank all my best friends who have put up with my weirdness and lameness and uh..slowness/retardedness over the years, especially miriam and sarah and zoenin. I can't seem to find a best friend here. I mean I do have friends, quite a lot I guess, but not any close/good friends that I can share everything with. Maybe it's too soon to speak since it's only been 3 years but it isn't impossible.

愛 - heart, friendship.
Friendship from the heart?

BULA! Literally meaning life, every employee greets you whenever you walk past with the blessing of a good life. I've really enjoyed my week there and so I'll share it with you now. (I'm not being paid, just sharing my experience)

Warning: It's going to be picture heavy so you have been warned..

Fiji is well, a place known to many Australians, and not at all known to most Singaporeans. Majority of the country's income is based on their tourism industry and Australians make up a majority of the tourists there. Everywhere you go, at least 50% of the tourists there are Australian. Fiji consists of a group of 333 islands and less during high tide. They have a population of not even a million people and they are located in the south pacific sea with tropical humid weather. It is their monsoon season at this time of the year, making it more humid. Their ancestors practised cannibalism but that clearly stopped and their dominant belief system is Christianity. The population there is pretty diverse, they have the natives, some Indians, some Chinese and Koreans(and I'm not sure what else). According to my parents, they are a third world country and on the way from Nadi airport to the resort, you can see the condition of the houses which most of the people are living in.

So, we booked a night flight, leaving on the night of the 17th and we arrived in Nadi(pronounced Nandi) at 6+ in the morning on the 18th(Saturday). It's a short flight of about 5 hours. Their daylight saving ended last week so their time is now only 1 hour ahead of Melbourne time. The flight itself wasn't that interesting..after all it was a night flight and we were meant to sleep. We took Fiji Air and their service staff was alright I guess, satisfactory but not excellent. The entertainment choice..was alright too, I plugged in the headphones, set up a playlist and let it run..while I slept so I can't really comment much on that can I? They had hunger games(the first one) but I've watched it before, and it's not really the kind of movie I would watch again even though it's good and also especially at that hour? No thanks. Haha. The humidity isn't as bad as Singapore I think, it doesn't slap you in the face once you step off the plane..

So we arrived at our resort a few hours later. I don't think I'll reveal the name now, but I might change my mind later..for now, let the picture overload begin! (:







Alright, after one day of procrastination(amidst cleaning up the house and going grocery shopping..), it would be nice to see what I've been up to for the past week yes?  I mentioned I would be going away in my last post but didn't mention where, and so now, I'll tell you haha. I spent a lovely week in FIJI!! I'll probably need some time to sort and compile the photos we took from different devices so I'll most likely type up one entry first, and put in the photos I took with my phone, then I'll edit and maybe add in more pics taken from the camera. It's been such an enjoyable week, I'm already missing Fiji and the people there. I miss the night skies, the beach and the people..the resort was beautiful, food was..overpriced and expensive though :/ I can still close my eyes and see the place in my head now and hear the roar of the ocean. Beautiful beautiful place. Sigh..Fiji, you are missed.

Lol I say I'll do so many things but everything ends up nowhere..
Anyway, to finish the previous story, the woman said she was going to take the same train too but point is, she still had enough money on her card to tap on and get on the train, she didn't have to top it up there..she could have just let me go first because I'll just take like 1 minute and clearly her credit cards or whatever weren't working-.- Goodness..even thinking about all this again makes me fed up.

It's been a hot hot hot week in Melbourne, temperatures hitting over 40 degrees. Been chilling on the sofa in the living room right under the evaporative cooling vent because it's just so hot. Kudos to the tennis players playing in the Australian Open even with this heat. Even just stepping outdoors is enough to warrant groans and complaints haha. Ohwell, apparently it's going to cool down after tomorrow. Joke is, I'm going away tomorrow haha.

Had my first driving lesson this morning too. Seems like I'm almost ready to drive solo :OO Booked the driving test to be on 7 Feb which is..really soon. We'll see how that goes eh haha.

SO.MAD. 

Sigh..I've been going about blogger and google-ing for an hour now but I still can't figure out how I can get the music to play..I don't want to sign up for a dropbox account and upload some music files to the public domain..so frustrating :/ I don't know how to do this..html code is not something I know very well )):

How's everyone's new year been so far? Mine's been alright I guess, could have been better, but life moves on. 

Lol okay, I shall eat my words..since today is the last day of 2013, might as well do some reflection right?
This year's gone by in a flash. This blog has come a long way, now that I think of it. It's contained a lot of my random moments, a lot of happy and sad moments, and now so quickly it has almost reached 6 years of existence. A quick check showed that this blog first started existing on the 26th January 2008, what a coincidence, it's Australia Day :D Thanks anyone reading frequently for enduring my countless rants and whatnots. Time has passed by so fast, so much faster than I would have liked it to go, but as they say, time waits for no man(such a cliched phrase but anyway). Like I said in my previous post, I'm not particularly looking forward to the new year, nor am I looking forward to the end of 2013, it's just another opportunity to reflect on what I have, and what I can give.  I've never really had any new year's resolutions well because..I'm not really one to set such goals and try to achieve them. Why not set them as an on-task basis and create goals along the way? Even if I have made new year resolutions in the past, I would have forgotten about them 2 weeks into the new year. So, not going to set any resolutions for this year. It's been a fast but crazy year, but I hope everyone has had a good year and have a year as good and if not better year starting tomorrow. Tomorrow is always a new beginning (:

It's the last day of 2013, yet it's just another day. 

It was a PAIN trying to log into blogger just now.
My uni uses google mail as the official mail service and they just didn't allow me to log into blogger because it "wasn't supported". Had to go to my uni email, log in then log out then come to blogger and log in.

Anyway, my body clock's really off. Been sleeping at 12-ish then waking up at 7. The exam period has clearly messed it up. Been sleeping for 5 hours before the last 2 papers so that's probably why.

Now I have so much time on my hands, I don't really know what to do with it..During the exam period, there were tons of things to watch and tons of things to do other than studying. Now that I'm done, what happened to all that..ok to be fair I still do have videos that I want to watch but then because of the internet cap..It is best not watch so much now. I think we've already used 81% of our internet cap for this month so..while there still is some time before the month ends..might be safer to not endlessly click on recommended videos on youtube(you will seriously get stuck on youtube for hours if you do so).  I should start reading..hmm. Alright, I'll be back :P

LIBERATION! Finally..

Just did a bomb of an exam.
FAR OUT
I'll be thankful to just pass seriously.
I have tried, I really have.
This exam period though, I just can't seem to study. Well, I can study but it's not processing very deep in the brain. It's like my brain has run out of memory space and I need an external hard drive or something.
Anyway, last paper next monday so more intense studying this weekend. Now is just a short breather before liberation next monday. I'm so sick of studying.
I don't even think it's possible for me to get 50% for this exam..not even 40 I think. I'm doing so badly this time round..darn. I'm just ranting right now because..1) I did terribly. 2) I woke up at 5 to study for this stupid exam this morning-.- should have slept more, the extra studying didn't even help.

Screwed. Utterly screwed I tell you.

Supposed to start studying for exams today and here I was, rushing to finish up lectures. Listened to a whopping 8 lectures today..but I don't think I retained very much. I have NEVER been able to listen to this many lectures in one day. Desperate times call for desperate measures indeed.

There is a ridiculous amount of content for this semester's exams, I have no idea how I'm going to finish studying it all. There is just so much to study and so much application. Application meaning you have to know everything and when they throw a case study at you, you should be able to comment or suggest something. How in the world..

There isn't even one..simple topic. There used to be one that I wouldn't have to listen to lectures for..like the more common sense, social aspects, but then this term it's so much more. There isn't one that is common sense that I would complain is a waste of time. All of them start out ok and then the second half of the semester, it all just starts going CRAZY. GAHHH stress stress stress

Alright, going to sleep now, more craziness scheduled for tomorrow..wish me luck.

I was wrong.
I am blessed.
Very very very blessed.
And I shall end it at that.

Gloomy weather, stuck at home finishing up tute preparation due tomorrow morning.
Bleh.

Anyway, today's topic.

"And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it me.'"
- Matthew 25:40

Why this topic? Well, I was walking outside melb central with my friend yesterday afternoon and there was this guy who was asking for spare change. It was raining and I was talking to my friend so well..I have to say I ignored him because tbh, I thought he was just taking shelter from the rain. It was only when we walked past him did ask for spare change. Walked past without a word, he said good day and apparently after, he said f*** you(I didn't hear this but my friend did). Thing is, he wasn't dressed terribly, he seemed pretty clean and he wasn't physically disabled. Surely he has the means to find a job so he doesn't have to..in nicer words, ask for spare change on the streets. If he does seem capable of supporting himself, why should I be giving him my spare change right? Spare change or not, money is money. All the money I have in my wallet now is what I have earned from working every Saturday. If I can do it, why can't he? Surely he has the capacity to. And eff me/us? We don't owe him a thing, on what grounds does he have the right to say that for not giving him spare change? Or was it because we didn't "Good day" him back? Is this just the easy way out for him? Yea, I guess we could have said something like Good day to you too back but then who know where that would end up. So in this situation, would I be wrong to just ignore him? In the past, when Jesus walked the Earth, the beggars he told people to treat well were physically disabled and unable to support themselves. They weren't clothed alright or physically able. If they were, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be on the streets. So did that guy deserve the way we treated him? Or was I wrong? Would he be considered a beggar, someone who is physically(and most likely mentally) able to support himself? And should he be treated the same way as someone else who is more in need?

Turning 19 on 19 October, yes that's today. 

Blogging again, this time to complain.

Anyone been to Straits of Malacca Hawthorn? If you haven't don't go. Their Glen Waverely counterparts are much better. Why?

Just got takeaway lunch from the Hawthorn outlet  and after this, I am NEVER going back again. Twice already that I got served by some rude girl. Mind you, these were 2 different occasions and 2 different girls, what does this say? Walked in, ordered my lunch and the girl was like "do you mind paying first" in a rude tone. I was holding my wallet phone and work key in my hand plus their super huge menu. You expect me to hold everything and give you money? Freaking take the menu from me! Gave her the menu first and she literally snatched it off and threw it somewhere. HELLO I AM FREAKING PAYING YOU MONEY THAT I WORKED AN HOUR FOR. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS BE NICE. I don't owe you a freaking thing. Thought I would drop by the supermarket across the road to get something while they're cooking. WHATTHEHECK, went back and had to wait another 10 freaking minutes before it was done. In total I probably waited more or about 15 minutes and this was takeaway-.- Even other customers got served their food first. What, I look young and don't deserve to get served? I have to rush back to work hello. Didn't even get a receipt so I can say that I ordered it. Anyway, when it came, girl asked something and I assumed it was about chilli because that's what they always ask about. I said no, checked my plastic bag and where in the world were my cutlery? AM I EXPECTED TO EAT HOR FUN WITH MY BARE HANDS? Asked the girl for cutlery and she scrunched up her face in an annoyed way and was like WHAT!? And then she finally got what I wanted and scowled. I AM A PAYING CUSTOMER AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME? So what if I'm not spending $100, any customer is a paying customer. I wasn't even demanding. The way they treat me is as if I'm not paying at all and eating for free or something. Ridiculous? You tell me. NEVER going back. No point having food from a place who doesn't appreciate the business. Absolutely rude staff, quality of food not consistent, it's not like I'm going to miss out on anything much . There is better food being sold ALL AROUND, I don't owe you a thing. Go on to urbanspoon and there you see all the good reviews written by..to be blunt, white people. Friendly staff, good service blah blah. WHERE? And then you see the reviews where people got lousy service by the staff and they are the Malaysians. Most of their business is from Malaysians and Singaporeans, so this is how it's going to be huh? See how long you'll last. STRAITS OF MALACCA HAWTHORN, don't head there, ever. Clearly, they don't really value their business, neither should you.

I seem to have blogging spurts now and then where I blog so frequently and then it dies off for a month or so and then I decide to blog again.

On midsem holidays now, finally. Unfortunately, this holiday is all study and no play for me. Planned to finish catching up with all my lectures by today..of course it wouldn't be done, who am I kidding. Have to get some done tonight if not I really can't sleep tonight. I'm not complaining, after all it's my own fault that I have so many lectures outstanding. Alright, I probably should be started now. Procrastination now isn't going to help that either, might as well get started..

Life seems to be a huge chaotic mess atm. Hope everyone's alright! Spring's here, weather's beautiful. Take care! 

为什么我什么都都做不好

Going to be frigging late for work today-.-

TIREDTIREDTIRED

In the midst if a hurricane,

Happy National Day sg! Watching the live streaming now online and the streaming is quite impressive this year I have to say. Not the best quality but the streaming is very smooth and not choppy. To be honest..today felt like any other day, the weather's bad today..raining and cold, nothing special. What has national day become for me? 

Going to complain a lot in this post so..I apologise for my ranting. You have been warned lol.

Today is a really suay day for me-.-
First off, decided to go window shopping because I just felt like getting out after experiencing some nonsense stuff.
Got to the shopping centre, all was good, everything was going well until..I went to this shop selling makeup and nail polish. Walked out with random splatters of purple nail polish on my WHITE pants..and they weren't cheap pants either. Decided to maybe go shop for some jeans so I can change and not walk around in white pants with random purple splatters. Went to cotton on because I thought they had the $10 jeans sale. Not much was left and so I tried out their $39.95 jeans. Decided not to get them after all. Went to valleygirl instead and tried on a pair of floral print jeans and guess what happened..I bought the wrong size. Not realising this, I immediately went to the toilet to change and pulled off the tags. Put then on and it was almost hard to breathe lol, I fit but it wasn't comfortable..Anyway, decided to just get out before anything worse happened. On the way out, then decided to run back and ask to change the floral jeans to another size. Ran to the toilet(was really smelly because..some business was happening in there) and quickly changed and ran back to the store to see if I could change it. Luckily I was allowed to do that and I went to buy a new wallet. Got it and got out of the shopping centre to catch the bus home. Sky was getting really dark and I was praying it would not rain till I got home. Alighted early because there was another way home and 5 minutes into the walk home, it starts raining..and it doesn't get any lighter. Heavy rain + strong wind = cannot see where I'm walking but anyway, I made it home with my shoes all wet and clothes mostly wet(even with an umbrella-.-) Quickly got changed and tried to remove the purple stains from my white pants. Tried nail polish remover and yes it's faded but it's still purple..the areas are soaking in bleach now, really hope they come off.. Anyway, on the bus back, this genius here grazed her elbow on the seat and  one patch of skin came off :O My day cannot get any better T.T
The only 2 good things that happened today was that I didn't have to wait for the bus and..I fit into size 8 pants LOL. Before, I couldn't fit into them, like I was literally bursting out of them haha and I don't think I could zip up size 8 pants either. Now I fit hahahaha. Looks like returning to pre-melb weight is a good thing indeed.

Anyway, didn't have a good day yesterday either..was working in my new job and after work yesterday, I was asking the manager about my roster for next week etc. Apparently another student is working next week and their roster is full for..the next week(not sure about the rest of the year?!). So basically I think I'm on casual employment since she mentioned something about when this person or that person is away eg. in december or january. I have no idea what I should do now. Maybe it's also good this way since next semester does seem pretty hectic from the timetable. Also served my first customer yesterday and the entire time I was like ?!!! Lol. Was told to tell the customer that everything is on the account and I can just bag it up for them and say thanks and bye. Sounds simple? Not so simple. Told the customer that it was on the account and he was like "so what does that mean". Erm..I wasn't told what that meant either so I just said that the records are with my workplace and just bs-ed my way out I guess. The customer then picked up a box and started saying that's not what he was taking before and already by that time I was freaking out so I just told him to wait and I'll go check with someone. Screwed up or not, you tell me-.-

바보 처럼

Gahhh Yes I'm blogging again at work. Was going to blog on Sunday/Monday about something but well..obviously I didn't get to it.

I'm quite bored at the moment. Weather isn't that good(top of 16degrees but I think it's cloudy outside). Not much traffic, only 1 customer so far-.-Boss asked if I was ok working tmr and Saturday so I said ok. I have nothing much to do at home anyway. Was planning to paint again tmr but I still have 2 weeks so..still have time left. I'm having these random panicking episodes seriously. Results are supposedly out next Monday and to be honest I'm feeling quite terrified for it. Didn't feel like that last year at all..my worry was more of getting D's and HD's then but now it's just a pass. Will have to work a lot harder next semester.

Was hired yesterday!! :D I don't even know how much I'm being paid or when I'm next working yet but the first step is getting the offer so, at least that's done! The manager yesterday just casually asked me to go give the medicine to the customer and I kind of stoned when she asked me. I was showed how to do it twice but I'm still a bit confused because you have to get them to sign something and then date it and then you have to tell them how to use it but then what if they have questions?!! I've only worked there for 6 hours..I'll work harder in that area..lol

Anyway, last Sunday, I heard the most beautiful sound ever. Something so pure and so beautiful. It was the voices of hundreds of people praising and worshipping the Lord. No words, no music, just voices and many different notes, but yet there was a pureness of the sound that was just so..heavenly. If humans can create this sound, can you imagine the music angels make when they praise God?! Really crazily beautiful.

That's all for now! Going to eat lunch in 10 minutes(:



Bring on the blogging madness! Haha, it's been a week since I posted, hope everyone's well!
Having lunch now while at work so I'm multitasking.
Seems like blogger won't let me post anything without a title. Typed up a post on Thursday but then because I didn't know about the title thing so it ended up being deleted I think.

It's another quiet day at work. Not much traffic but still better than thursday. Just finished my lunch. Had pad mee kao from the thai restaurant/takeaway place a few shops away. For those who don't know, it's a bit spicy. Unknowingly chewed on a piece of chilli and it set half my tongue on fire for a while. I usually can take pretty spicy food without any problem but that piece of chilli was really :OO Good meal though.

Almost half my holidays are over already and I don't think I've accomplished very much :/ Did some job hunting on Monday, slacked off on Tuesday, went in to a pharmacy somewhat far from my house to hand in my resume and had an interview then and there. Was told that for their student hires, they are called to go tryout for a few hours so I was told to go on Friday(yesterday) for 3 hours to tryout. Thursday was spent at work. Had to rush to target on Thursday night because I had no work bottoms to wear. Friday..went in to tryout at the pharmacy for 3 hours. No names mentioned, not even going to tell you where it was because I heard nowadays employers actually check your facebook and other sites etc. If you google your full name and search for images and stuff, something is bound to turn up. Googled mine once and I found my facebook profile picture on google images, facebook page link on google search as well as..pictures from my farewell dinner with 3K which nwarp put up. Let's just say they weren't very flattering pictures. So kids, be careful about what goes on the internet! Anyway, with the tryout, I was somewhat nervous and pumped for the moment. Was just right on time because we had to send my brother to his friend's house-.- Literally charged all the way from his friend's house to the shopping centre haha. Anyway, I would say it was a very good experience as to what really goes on behind the counter. I did try my best yesterday in terms of remembering stuff. Was never told that there was that much paperwork going on behind the counter. In terms of skills, I'm probably lacking since I've never worked in that setting before but hopefully I did well enough for them to at least get back to me, even if it means starting with the floor first. The staff there are all really nice and pretty patient I have to say. Couldn't find so many of the medications and was literally ?!! when I couldn't find the right thing. Sent a message to the manager this morning thanking her for the opportunity to tryout(and something about hope to hear from you soon). Don't know if that's a right move or not, today being a Saturday and all. Not even sure if she's working today. Was going to send it last night but then sending a text at 9 to your possibly future manager(these 3 words are weird together..) doesn't look very professional right? Hopefully that doesn't shut down any chance that may probably be there. If it isn't God's plan then hopefully I'll get a call/email from the pharmacy near my house(but they're not hiring though :/) Ohwell, we'll see.

Exam results are scheduled to be released on 15 July, a bit more than a week from now. To be honest, I'm really anxious about this. Not all, just for one subject that I'm not sure I even passed the written paper. There's another subject that I'll most likely get lower than a distinction for because this stupid marker gave my group a super low mark(4.5/10 -.-) for a group project assignment we did. Thanks a lot-.- Even the comments given weren't even helpful. They were sort of like...you didn't include blablahblah and you should have talked more about blahblah. But whatever, it's over and we can't get it changed so forget it. Will have to work a lot harder next semester. The other 2 should be alright..expecting at least a distinction from the other 2. I don't even know if they allow a retake if I fail. I really don't want to study this subject again next year D: Praying very hard that I didn't fail it. Even a just pass would be good. Some of the lecturers were terrible in terms of explaining the content. Yes, we are supposed to go read up but seriously..you're supposed to teach us in a way that we would understand. I have no right to criticise but then again, I'm not being paid to teach.

Alright, end of my rant for now.

Shall blog again. Whatever. I'm at work now, yea I'm blogging while at work. No customers now, so why not? Business is really bad today..sigh..

Was pretty cold this morning and I didn't fill my water bottle so I decided to get something at starbucks. If you've never been to starbucks, when they take your order, they get your name as well. Told the girl my name and when I got my order, it was labelled with..Cynthia. If you know me, my name isn't Cynthia but well..for now, I am "Cynthia" to the starbucks staff member.

Sorry what I'm talking about in this post is a mess because I'm just typing whatever that comes to mind.

OHYES, I got a new phone!! :D Signed up on a plan finally and got a change of phone. Decided to get iPhone4 over Samsung galaxy express just because there is iMessage on the iPhone. Ok secretly, I like apple products. Not that I don't love samsung, it's just that I don't know that brand products that well so..lol just casually announcing to the whole world I got an iPhone. I changed from a prepaid to a contract and decided to port my number. Stupid me didn't think about the credit left of the prepaid number, and because I kept my number, I lost all the leftover credit-.- So much genius on my part-.-

Apparently my dad's planning a trip to hongkong at the end of this year or early next year. Hope we're going to stop by Singapore for a while on the way! HK has the good food and shopping but unfortunately, the only one in my family who can speak cantonese is my dad so if we do go, all of us are going to be like ?!! on the entire trip haha, but it'll be fun. It's been so long since we actually went on an actual holiday. I admit I used to be like one of those rich kids that went on overseas holidays almost every year but not anymore. But then again, when you go on an overseas holiday at an older age then you can really appreciate the holiday more.

Don't know if I'm going to get picked from work today or not. My brother says he wants to go to the Aussie Disposals to get something. The Aussie Disposals is just across the road from where I work so if they do come then yay!

Today is a really gloomy day :/ the sky's grey and cloudy and it looks like it's going to rain at any moment. Maybe that's why business is really slow today? There's hardly anyone walking down where I work and even if the people walk by, they don't stop and buy something. It's really pathetic today.

On another note, I'm quite nervous for the first semester results, especially for that one subject. The rest are all alright, like I know I didn't fail but like just that ONE subject..so worried and the results are out in more than 2 weeks time. Sort of anxious but yet don't really care anymore sort of feeling. I wish I really didn't have to care. So many things on my mind..

About time I blogged again, yes?
Finished exams last Thursday now so I have holidays now. The plan is to slack this week and then start looking for a job starting next Monday. When it comes to looking for this new job, it's depends on mood :/ Somedays are just like "Yes, I will go do it!" other times which is most of the time it's a "mehh, I don't want to go into that kind of environment". A lot of mixed feelings on this one..Anyway, exam results are out on 15 July if I didn't get it wrong. I have to admit I think I started a bit too late and thought I had enough time when I didn't. This time's exam period was crazy mostly because nothing was really going into my head. Everything just sort of went in and came back out again. There is that one subject I'm really worried about because the written exam is 80% of the final mark but I'm not sure I even passed that. Sigh..for the rest, I guess I can say I tried my best already. Walked out of this exam feeling quite..whatever-ish. I didn't come out each paper and think I failed but whether or not I do well is a different thing altogether. Every time I walk out of an exam hall not panicked is a bad thing..I always do badly when it's like that.

Anyway, hope everyone in Singapore is well, despite the crazy haze that hit PSI 400 :X Happy to know that at least the haze has died down quite a bit. I think we used to complain when the PSI hit 60+ but now that the PSI is back down to 100+, we're all happy haha the irony.

Might decide to go shopping tomorrow. Hopefully will get my new phone tomorrow too. Bye for now!

It's been another long while. It's the exam period now and my first exam's actually tomorrow morning but I just can't seem to focus now so thus the blog post.

In primary school, there was a teacher(invigilator) who ever told us something before the exam. She said something like "of course God wants to help you but if you don't help yourself first, then why should God help you". So well..studying for exams is important, because God isn't going to drop every single answer in your head if you haven't studied either.

This studying period has been crazy so far. Firstly, the exam timetable isn't good(although at least I don't have multiple papers in one day). Secondly..when I study now, nothing is really going INTO my head. It just goes in and out and stays that way. It's like my brain memory space is used up and I can't accept anymore info than what I already know. Will be done with exams in a bit more than a week. Now I wonder how I survived in the past with 2 papers of different subjects in a day. HOW? Old habits live long, I still can't concentrate on just studying, when it gets boring my mind just wanders for a few hours-.- It's so hard studying for something that you must apply that seems common sense but when you're doing it you actually have to know what you're doing/writing about. Everything seems distracting now..gahhh why am I so distracted!!>.<

First exam tomorrow is my longest exam this time, it's 3 hours(but you can leave if you finish early). I don't know what to think of it to be honest. The sample questions provided were alright but still I have no confidence. Neither do I have any confidence for the exam the day after. Second exam is a lot of bio stuff and all the receptors and systems which is not sitting very well in my head, so I consider that as incomplete studying. Don't even know how I'm going to finish memorising all of it after my first exam tmr.

There are some things you can use logic to solve but a lot of other things..if you don't know them, you just don't.

Sigh..more studying..

Suddenly decided to check out my blog viewer stats and then clicked on the entry points. Amazingly it came to a post of kimjaejae and 2D class chalet. Reading the english there made me cringe a little. Can't believe I used to type stuff like that and think it was ok. It's been what..5 years since then(that was end of 2008) I guess the "cutesy" language was all the rage then? Or maybe it was just at that age everything goes a bit haywire haha. A lot of "mannnn" and "kaes" and weird stuff like that -.- 5 years from now and I'll probably look back at this post and think I'm typing like a kid. 

Suddenly felt many emotions welling up and memories started playing out in my head.
Remembered all the stupid things I did, the stupid things I said, the stupid things I promised. I would never have admitted this in the past because I never realised it but I was a biatch. Seriously. Thinking about it now, I really do think I was quite immature and selfish, and it's no wonder to me now why there were a few people who didn't like me. I thought I was cool and definitely not proud. Now, thinking back, I think I really liked to show off. Sigh..so many things I did wrong and stupid and behaved foolishly. Through it all, I'm very thankful for the friends that have stood by my more bitchy teenage days and I really cherish our relationships. Thanks for always being there for me, even when I was..not likeable and was willing to be my friend. Thanks for everything, I love you! <3 p="">
On another note, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! :D Love you, mummy!

Love like fire
Has taken hold of me.

The novelty of having the blogger app has worn off, been busy recently so..no post. It's been what..3 months? 오랜만에.
I actually have tons of work to get through but then I don't have any motivation :/ uni is not as fun as it sounds.

Sigh..I don't know what to post about either..



不出席的大笨蛋

싫어
다 싫어


I think I've lost almost all motivation to blog now. It's been quite a few years now that I've had this blog and I'm not ready to delete it but yet I don't have the kick and drive to blog. Maybe because I don't have anything interesting going on in my life, and also because I don't have many readers anyway. But then again, I didn't start my blog to get people to read about my life.

I'm so bored and I don't even know what I'm doing my life. Even until now, I'm still not sure if I picked the right course for me. Sigh.

Not Black, yet not White, Grey.

Just did the most stupid thing in my life-.-
It's even worse than the 2 times I walked into a glass panel-.-
It is so cringe-worthy and embarrassing that I keep using the -.- face because I can't even describe the feeling.
I threw the wrong thing..into the public bin..the kind where you can't take anything out even if you want to-.-
Biggest blonde moment EVER(sorry to all blondes ok, I just meant I did something so..stupid)
I'm not even going to say what I threw into the bin because I'll feel like the biggest idiot on Earth-.- REALLY SO DARN STUPID FAROUTTTTT!!!

I probably shouldn't be posting now at work but then..no customers are walking into the shop at all..sigh

Was thinking about stuff on the train journey to work today.
What do you consider a good friend or a close friend? When we were kids, being someone's best friend probably meant knowing all the little details of that friend(like their favourite colour for example), memorising their number and playing together a lot (no innuendo intended). But then as I grew older, I think that definition of a good friend has changed. I don't think I know that many tiny little details about my close friends. Even I don't know those tiny little details about me. Like what's my favourite colour? I don't know LOL depends on my mood and the weather I guess, I don't really have a favourite colour anymore. Anyway, back to the main point, I think as I grow older, a best friend means someone who has my absolute trust and someone I can share anything with. There can be tons of little facts you know about acquaintances but I guess if you can't share some things with them, you wouldn't consider them friends. Then again, I think you really know who may be your friends for life(quite literally) when you can disappear for a long period of time, say a year, and still be able to talk with them comfortably. Every time I head back to Singapore, when I meet my friends, it feels like we're just continuing where we left off, like I never left at all, which is kind of touching in that sense I guess. I can't find a friend like that here. It's been what, 3 years(start of the 4th year now)? Sure I have friends but once the holidays start, it's as quiet as a deserted wasteland or something. The people whom I thought I was close to just don't feel close enough if that even makes sense. Maybe because all the people I'm making friends with are at least a full year older than me, I don't know. In all seriousness, I really miss my friends. I miss just taking a bus to get out of the house. I miss going crazy together, I really do. My dad's going to take his citizenship test sometime this year, and my mum's not taking it yet. As for me, I have to do it on my own now since I'm legally an adult. But then do I really want to? Australia is nice, it really is, but then the friends I make just seem..distant no matter how close we may appear to be. And it's not like I'm planning to go back to Singapore to work because I don't see any future in my profession in Singapore. Recently I've been seriously thinking about uni. I don't even know why I chose this course now. At first when I chose it and got in, I guess I was relieved in a way because I guess I don't really have an interest in commerce. But after studying one year, I can say I don't know where I'm heading. I enjoy uni, like the stuff we learn is interesting but about the profession itself, then I'm not so sure. People keep telling my mum that I should quickly try to get a job in a pharmacy because it's now quite hard to find a job there and I need experience, the more the better. And so, my mum has been nagging me now to go to some shopping centre pretty far away to hand in my resume to the 'busiest place in Melbourne' or something like that. I'm really doubting my career choice to be honest. I just got a job one and a half months ago and now you're telling me to abandon ship and get another job? If you didn't know, I'm currently working for my parents' friend from church, aunty E. She was nice enough to take me in without any experience. She's not paying me a lot and has me work almost every day but the fact that I got my first job with her is good enough. I can't just abandon ship now after just one and a half months?! Yes, I will look for another job this year but now just isn't the time. For some reason, I'm starting to dread what my future life may look like.

Just encountered a difficult customer. Mother an daughter pair, both pretty old, mother being nicer and more reasonable than her daughter..
They said they bought something before Christmas and it doesn't work no matter which phone they try it on. They demanded a refund without a receipt and the daughter claimed to have thrown the receipt away since she didn't think that she would have to bring it back. First of all, which shop can give you a refund when you don't have the receipt-.- want a refund then keep your receipt!! The daughter literally shouted her story at least 5 times consecutively why I should give her a refund and said if I don't give a refund then she will take this further. Like what, sue us? Break or damage the shop or products? Her mum said that she spent $30 on it and it was a lot of money for her daughter. Well from the clothes they were wearing and how they mentioning spending a lot of money in the shop before Christmas, I highly doubt so. If $30 is a lot to you then a court summon would probably get you bankrupt then? You want my pity or empathy? Sorry you get none. It's not like they were beggars or something. Even if the daughter worked part time at a supermarket or something, she would definitely get $30 in at most 3 hours considering her age. The minimum pay per hour in Australia that I have heard if so far is $8 an hour. Therefore if she works anywhere, I can confirm that $30 isn't considered that much. Before I started working, $30 was a lot but then that was because I ha literally nothing and had to ask my parents for money. Now that I'm working, I can get $30 in 3-4 hours, so how much is $30 to her? She's not in rags, has a boyfriend so what in the world is $30?! I think her mother also couldn't stand her yelling her story so many times(in the exact same phrasing somemore) and told her to shut up lolol. Gave her the refund in cash and then they finally left. Worst thing is, after they left when I checked the product to see if it works with my iPod or not(it's supposed to work with mp3, mobile phones or laptops), it freaking works. Looks like those people don't know about an ON AND OFF SWITCH that exists in our modern society and neither did they try looking for one. Should have tried it in front of them and make the daughter shut up-.- if only I checked their claims earlier..the daughter actually looks older than my mum ok, like what is this-.- so ridiculous!!!

It is the last hour of 2012 (At least in Melbourne that is) and I thought it appropriate to post.
I know I mentioned 2 posts ago that I had a lot if things to post about and I would post it soon but unfortunately..this forgetful person here has forgotten what she was supposed to post about..for now, a new years eve post will suffice.

A lot has happened this year 2012 and already so quickly this year is coming to an end in 55minutes. I would say 2012 is definitely one of the years that I will not forget because so much has happened this year it isn't a year that will be wiped clean from memory. I wouldn't say 2012 started well for me. Not doing as well as I expected to in my exam just left me in a quite dejected mood. Regardless, my dad suggested to take the train to the city to watch the fireworks there so that's how we welcomed 2012. After attempting to look for a job and finally giving up in the holidays at the start of the year, I pretty much slacked for the entire holiday until the last week before uni started. Suddenly we received a call from my uncle informing is of my ahgong's passing. Rushed back the day after the call, the Saturday just before uni started. Came back after the wake and tarted uni. Lode went on and during Easter my dad brought us somewhere..and again informed of the death of another relative, this time of my dad's cousin's wife and eldest teenage son. Not to mention also, Whitney houston's death also shocked many this year. Had also been hearing from quite a few people about the death of their relatives, most of them losing a grandparent. (the phrasing for that last sentence was a bit awkward, sorry..not going to think how to phrase it now)
Not to forget, the several dates where the world was predicted to end. December 21 2012..guess what, the world's still spinning, lives are still moving on.

There are many things that have happened this year that I'm really thankful for and i'm glad to say I don't think I did much that I was regretful about. Hopefully next year will be a good year and I will blog again tmr.
For now,
A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR, HAPPY 2013. May God's name be glorified and may many more people learn of His name and His love in the new year. Have a blesses year ahead!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND ENJOY THE TIME WITH YOUR FAMILIES!! Ok I don't know why I typed in caps..but uh, you get my point :D

I actually have a lot to post about but I'm just too lazy/tired at the moment to do any real blogging for now..so bye and anticipate my next post hahah

If I could, I would fly to the moon right now.

Results are out earlier than the date given to us but at least I won't spend the first day of work fretting. I did the same as the first semester but different arrangement of grades. For the subject I was fretting about and worrying about so much, I passed and did quite well surprisingly. But really, I'm so so happy that I didn't fail that subject. Thank You God for answering my prayers.

First day of work tomorrow. Hopefully I learn everything quickly and be able to be a reliable worker ;D Must now go find out how to get there..but as of now, life's good :D

I'm feeling very..conflicted right now.
I want to be happy but yet I feel uneasy and apprehensive.
Reason for being happy? I got a job, like finally. Not going to disclose much but it's not at a pharmacy. Not going to reveal anymore, but if you really want to know then ask me personally. I am really happy I am hired. Finally I can start earning some money for myself so I don't have to keep asking my parents for money when I want to buy something or when I'm going out. Looks like I'll be able to go to the uni ball next year ;D

Uneasy because..exam results are out this coming monday, 3rd of Dec. Screwed up 1 exam but that may be enough to make me stay back a year to redo that subject. And also this from the intranet..

"Students who fail 25% (1 unit) in a semester will be required to see the Unit Coordinator of the failed unit. A form will need to be signed by the Unit Coordinator and returned to Academic and Student Services before Week 3 of the following semester. "
Basically..you see the unit coordinator and tell them why you failed and probably why you deserve the chance to retake the subject again or something like that I think. I am praying so hard that I didn't fail. I think I have about 30-35% from other assignments. Not sure what the passing mark is but the exam constitutes 60% of the final mark so I need 20% out of the 60% to get 50% overall. Not sure what the passing mark is(I think it's 48% or something like that?) Well, hopefully I didn't fail too badly at the exam :/ Darn psychology..
The other subjects, I guess I walked out feeling quite good, knowing I  probably did my best. Not sure about how to results will come out though. Every time I walk out of an exam feeling happy and satisfied, the results always come out below my expectations. I think there's a set of results for another test out already but I can't seem to see it or find the folder for it. I'm not sure if it's already out(although I think it is) and I can't access it for some reason. It doesn't show up in my 'grades' folder..so strange because I remember how my friends were talking about how badly they did? I feel worried, I really do.

Struck lottery and posting twice a day?
I didn't realise I already posted this morning but whatever, another post won't kill.

It has suddenly hit me that I am actually not good at anything in particular.
In school, despite it being a bilingual school, the students' command of both English and Chinese was neither very good nor very bad. Speaking in general here, because there are definitely some who are very good in either. Me being the average or even below average student is fluent in both English and Chinese but I cannot safely say that I have mastered either.
This doesn't end with my command of languages. Even though I play at least 2 instruments(attempting to learn one more now), I cannot say I have mastered either one. Both are somewhat there, neither excellent nor terrible.
It's like everything is hanging in limbo, being neither good nor bad and in that sense I guess I haven't found what I am good at.
How do I stand out from the crowd? At the moment, I believe I'm overshadowed in every single aspect.

So fed-up right now.
Writing up my resume so I can finally go get a job and I am getting so fed-up with it.
First of all, there isn't really much to put on it other than my academic stuff. I have no work experience nor do I have any references. Even volunteer work..the only volunteer work I ever remember doing was CIP - cleaning beaches, visiting a children's home, hanging up national flags at a HDB block for national day and hamper wrapping, and to be honest, that's it. I don't have anything else and all the CIP that I've ever done is not even relevant to what I'm applying for. Also, all the CIP activities were done more than 3 years ago. I have nothing. Singapore education has never prepared me for half studying and half working. I didn't even have to work during holidays in Singapore because holidays were spent studying, doing holiday homework and cca. Can't I just honestly tell the interviewer about this? I was actually planning to put my high school teachers contacts. I asked my friend about it and she thought it would be weird if I was already past 1st year uni but still using high school teacher contacts. She thought using uni lecturers or tutors would be more appropriate. But then, my lecturers or tutors don't even know of my existence!! Should I still email and ask anyway? I was thinking maybe I could email one of the lecturers because I did quite well in the assignments, but then I realised that's the subject which I screwed up the exam, maybe not such a good idea since he would probably look it up to see what he could say. Furthermore, he's not a full-time lecturer. So again, I'm stuck in a rut.  I googled about the lack of work experience and they said you can put volunteer work instead, or odd jobs like baby-sitting. But then again, it's not very relevant at all to what I'm applying for-.- Then I googled about the lack of references. They said you could use personal references such as family friends who can testify your character and how you work. But then it was also said that use of personal references should be minimised and emphasis on those are often not taken into account. I read somewhere that sometimes if you blow the interviewer away at the interview, they often won't ask for the references.
I honestly feel like coming clean and telling the interviewers that I don't have any work experience whatsoever, nor do I have any references, but I'm willing to work hard to prove myself given the chance.

I texted another friend about what she put on hers(she got a job recently) and she also said she had no work experience and had nothing on her resume(although I do think she has some work experience from year10 that was..compulsory if I'm not wrong). Asked her about the work experience part and the references part. Hopefully she sees it soon.
If I really can't write up a resume, then I guess I'll have to volunteer somewhere.

Today's weather is HOTHOTHOT!! High of 34 degrees today. It's the kind of weather where you don't feel like doing anything. This apparently is a behavioral mechanism with regards to body temperature regulation. Less movement means less heat production, preventing increase of the body's core temperature.

Anyway, something funny happened last Thursday. My mum brought my brother(year 7) for some trial Maths tuition and then having nothing better to do, I tagged along. We walked into the room and then the tutor was like uh..so who is here for the trial? Hahaha so do I look that young or does my brother look matured or both..

I know there's a lack of structure and flow in this post but whatever, I shall blame the weather.

Exams are over, it's the holidays and I have time on my hands so, why not blog?
Talking about exams..I really feel uneasy about my results. They're not out yet but I still feel..very uneasy about it.

Anyway, it is really about time I started blogging again after the crazy exam study period.
I owe my friend a birthday letter and I still haven't gotten down to writing it yet because I can't find some stuff..argh I really have to start doing something before I waste my entire life away.
Need to finish my resume this weekend and start the job hunting next week. My mum keeps bugging me to quickly get one before all the spots are taken. I think the only reason why I keep putting it off is firstly, my resume is so empty and..embarrassing if you think about it. Other than academic qualifications, nothing else is worth putting on it. Secondly, I'm so worried about the interview. Generally I'm terrible at spontaneous replies. I'm just hoping that the place that I apply will take me even though I don't have any work experience or whatsoever. One thing Singapore education didn't exactly prepare students for. Well, in Singapore it makes sense to not work until after A levels but over here, people start working early and rack up all types of work experience. It's so hard><

Anyway, I was thinking about something the other day and it hit me that it's interesting how our brains register something as funny and trigger laughter. There are many different types of things that make us laugh, different things for different people but how do we determine if something is funny or not? Do we learn to tell what is funny or not funny?

It's been quite a while since I updated.
Exams finished on monday, so in short, I've been doing nothing for this entire week. Well, not exactly nothing haha. Packed my room and when I say pack up I mean like take everything of the shelves and out of the drawers and start packing again. One thing to note..I have so much stuff. Dug out a lot of things that had sentimental value to me and reading all of it just made me smile and think how blessed I am for the friends God has put in my life. Sure I've met a few unpleasant people along the way, misunderstandings formed in some friendships and now I can safely say it was all worth it. Without meeting those unpleasant people and having the misunderstandings that I did, I would not have the same close friends I have today. I'm a person that values sentimental stuff a lot, like I keep letters and birthday letters from my friends (I even have a metal box for it haha). I even have some notes we ever passed in class. Digging all of it out and taking a look at those things again makes me miss them so much more.

I also finished watching Iljimae, the Lee JunKi version. Can I say, I do not regret spending 20 hours of my life watching that drama. This is one of the dramas that made me cry and laugh throughout. I started the drama on wednesday I think and then already from episode 1 I started crying because it's so..sad and touching. The child actors are really good, especially the boy that acted as the young Lee Geom. No show ever has made me cry in the first episode, not even One Litre of Tears, and this drama definitely caught my attention from the first episode. I have no idea why people find the first 5 episodes or so boring. The OSTs are so sad but beautiful at the same time. I really wouldn't mind watching this again. I took really long to decide what show to watch because nowadays, most of the taiwanese dramas have storylines that are very..typical? I don't really know how to describe them but they don't have storylines that get your attention from the first episode. Don't think I'll watch any taiwanese dramas in the meantime, even the older ones. Not even planning to watch sunshine angel that I planned to watch ages ago, it has my favourite singers/actors in it but the storyline just doesn't sound interesting. Should I watch The Return of Iljimae? Somehow, Lee JunKi is stuck in my head as THE Iljimae and he doesn't act in The Return of Iljimae. Dara has a small feature in it though :/ Should I watch it? I read somewhere that JunKi's version of Iljimae was more action-packed and has an older demographic whereas The Return of Iljimae is for a younger group of people. Went to read some reviews about Iljimae and quite a few of them say the script was messed up? I thought it was pretty ok/good. One thing most of the reviews put down as the good points was the acting, and that one I do agree. The acting was so real that I sort of thought they were the actual characters themselves, I thought it was really convincing. Meanwhile, shall watch the latest episode of running man! hahhaha

Casually posting during dinner since I haven't posted in quite a while..ok maybe just over a week. The past week I've been attempting to study, notice the word attempting. No idea why but I've lost every single bit of motivation to study now..how easily I get distracted just shocks me. I think I know my stuff for tomorrow's exam so hopefully I won't be thrown off my feet and walk out confidently knowing I did well. I've never felt this calm before exams before..really worrying considering this is the day before my fort exam. To be honest, I haven't even started studying for my other exams a next week. More crazy cramming coming up so won't be blogging anytime until 12 nov. To all A level takers, all the best!!

It has been a very uneventful birthday today, not that I was expecting any surprises.
It is quite sad that no one from my high school has wished me happy birthday yet. Today is ending in 3 hours and I haven't got a single one from people I called my 'close friends'. Maybe they forgot, or they remembered the wrong day or something? Somehow people keep remembering my birthday at october 20-something. No..it's not. Especially one of them..I thought we were pretty close and during my high school reunion she mentioned the exact number of days left till my birthday, but then how come today..ohwell, I shall not let myself get too disappointed about this because there is more.

First happy birthday came from zoenin in facebook messages. Second from my dad on iMessages. Third, surprisingly, from a uni friend by text. I find it EXTREMELY ironic how I only told maybe 1 friend from uni when my birthday is and I get a text message from another person while my high school friend publicly declared my birthday when nobody knew(so technically all of them know now) and I haven't received a single message. Hmm..interesting. Got to uni(had a test today-.-) and the birthday wishes started pouring down haha. I had no idea everyone knew, I don't even know how..

Most disappointing thing was when I got home. Turns out because my brother wants to learn baseball, he went to a baseball practice thing at 5 and came back at like..7+ I think. In then end, no cake and no eating out, and here I am, going to end my birthday listening to my lecturer talk about pregnancy and lactation just like a usual friday night. I didn't want my birthday to be a big deal in school/uni but like at least at home would be nice you know, just saying. Instead, our activities have to revolve around my brother, yea thanks so much. I could have found someone to go out and eat dinner with and sort of celebrate, but I didn't, just to come home and slack off and help to cook my own dinner. It was only until 8+ that my mum asked whether I wanted to go out and get a cake and I was like...what shop is open for you to buy a cake at this hour. Yes I do appreciate the effort my mum tried to put in but it seems sort of insensitive to ask whether or not I want to get a cake when there probably isn't going to be a store open. My mum actually wanted my dad to drive her out to buy a cake but my dad said the same thing and refused to drive. So in the end, we're going to buy a cake tomorrow and go out for dinner. I think I'm sort of anal about celebrating birthdays ON the birthday itself but, what can I do? My family isn't the kind to plan surprises, nor do they place a strong emphasis on birthdays because..it's just a birthday. Celebrating early or late doesn't really matter. I wouldn't argue with this if my birthday was on a weekday but today is friday..and it's my 18th...I'm sorry and I know I sound spoilt saying this but I'm going to say it anyway. It's my 18th birthday, why does my birthday have to revolve around what my brother wants to do? All my friends were asking what I'm going to do tonight and I said nothing, because that's how my family celebrates birthdays. It's always a cake just before we go to sleep and that's it for a birthday. For the first time ever, I don't have a cake on my birthday. Way to remember my 18th?

Just logged into facebook and saw that I got a message from my senior haha, I'm quite surprised to see it since he's quite busy. But then again, my birthday isn't that hard to remember for band members because I have the same birthday as the conductor! Happy birthday ms chan!

So..this will be my last post ever as a 17-year-old.
5 minutes to midnight now. Do I sound like I'm anticipating it? I'm not, really.
Truthfully, tomorrow will just pass like any other day and I might even forget that it's my birthday.
I think in the recent years, my parents have been more excited about my birthday than I have been. Just now, my parents asked whether I wanted to go out with friends or do something tomorrow. Well, I don't think my friends know when's my birthday and I don't exactly want them to know. Turned off my facebook timeline. Hmm, I don't think I'll do anything special tomorrow. Go to uni for a test, come home, slack off, maybe do some work, and there you go, a perfectly ordinary friday night. No wild crazy 18th party for me. I'm not the crazy party type where everyone gets drunk.
2 minutes to midnight now, I better read up my prac manual for the test tomorrow><



So many happenings in the span of 2 hours today..I'm so tired physically right now-.-

First of all, IT'S WUZUN'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!! Hahah it's been quite a few years now and it's been getting harder to follow his news since he sort of disappeared from the media's radar..but anyway, happy birthday to him! So many people have the 1010 birthday. Ok, maybe not that many but quite a few. It's wuzun's birthday, miss A's Suzy(she's the same age as me :O) and my friend from uni's birthday! Mine's coming up soon too, but honestly, I don't want anybody to know..I don't know why but I want it kept..private, I don't need surprises or presents on my birthday. I think at the moment, the people who know my birthday are my closest friends and my parents. No, not my entire family knows because..my brother is not cool and doesn't know when my birthday is-.- it was quite a shock when I was having a prac today and a friend came up and said that my birthday's coming p really soon too. I almost does of a heart attack, because I was looking at the lay day of this semester(which also happens to be my birthday) and then she asked of that was my birthday and I can't..lie about it can I? So I told her yes and I can't believe she remembers it till now..really hope she doesn't tell other people when it is. If I could, I wouldn't even turn up on my birthday but then..I have a test on that day...

Anyway, on to what made me so tired. The genius that I am forgot to bring my Myki(public transport card - same thin as the ez-link card) and when I was going home(about 5) just before I was going to tap my card, I realised my card wasn't in my bag. Being the klutz that I am, I immediately sat down somewhere and rummaged in my bag, even resorting to taking everything out and putting everything back in again. Of course, it was sitting at home and I couldn't find it, so I thought it dropped somewhere. I immediately caught a tram back to uni, searched near some areas in uni where I sat down and found nothing. With nothing I can do, I caught the tram again and headed back to the train station(melb central), hoping I can buy a metcard(a paper ticket system the government is trying to phase out). The metcard is a paper ticket that you can buy before each trip you travel. And as they are trying to stop that system and move to Myki, which is the same system as the ez-link cards, they don't sell those cards anymore. Went to the customer service to ask, only to be told I have to get another myki so i can get home. Not willin to spend so much money, I walked the distance of 5 tram stops o another big train station(flinders st) to see if they still sold metcards. They didn't, so i went to catch a tram again since some of the old ones still have the machines that sell the metcards. Little did I know, the machine only accepts coins and I only have notes. Attempted to change money with passengers on the tram and I was pleasantly surprised haha. Asked this man if he had coin change for $10. I needed $6.50 in coins for the metcard an since Australia doesn't have $2 notes, he had to give me all in coins. He literally dug in all of his pockets to see of he had change. Turns out he only had $4 in coins and told me it's ok to take it if it was enough(without giving him back any money). I gave it back to him since it wasn't enough and thanked him. Asked a woman after that and she emptied her entire wallet coin pocket for me, counting all her 10 and 20 cents for me. In the end she was short by a dollar and then somehow I ended up with $4 from her. Thanked her profusely and decided to risk buying the cheaper concession ticket for kids under 17. Bought the ticket, got off and went to the station(melb central) and put my card in. Put the card in, and the machine said "no trips left" and I was wondering why. Took the card back and saw the EXPIRED on it-.- I feel so cheated..in Facebook terms, I was trolled. Seriously, I was panicking and thinking I finally found a way to get home and I'm told my ticket is expired..no choice but to buy a full fare Myki card and spent $10. But then, at least I got home and found my card. I was praying so hard on the train that my card wasn't lost but at home, so praise God!

To the gentleman and the lady who tried so hard to find change for me and volunteered to just give me the money, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. It's just a small gesture and although you'll probably never see me again or read this, I was really touched by your actions and so once again, thank you so so so much for trying to help!

Ok, here I am posting again as if I've nothing better to do, but really though, I've tons of things to do. Just had to go crazy over some things hahaha.

Firstly, 빅뱅 is currently in Singapore, in the midst of their alive tour concert at this moment in time. AHHHHHHH>< And here I am, not doing much with my life. Maknae Seungri who is 3 years older than me has already earned millions and here I am, slacking my life away. So ironic how I like them now and then they hold their first south-east asian concert leg and have 2 concert nights in Singapore when I'm not there now. I was thinking if only I was in Singapore but then again, I would be studying for A lvls at this time of the year, so not really much hope of seeing them just yet lol. Tickets are expensive though. Ticket prices start at $128. I remember the Fahrenheit one starting at $68 or $78 I think. But then now that I think about it, it's been 4 years already. Inflation maybe? Watched a few of the alive tours already performed on youtube and yea, it's quite similar I guess, just without the thrill of being in the crowd and being able to see them with your own eyes and breathe the same air hahahha.

Second thing I have to mention is, that 炎亞綸's new EP/album is going to be officially released on my birthday! No kidding. I've always seen facebook comments on singers promotion pictures that the albums are released on their birthday and now finally, there's one released on my birthday!! HAHHAHA.

Ok, enough of going crazy for today. I know I said a week ago that I would post about the testimony that I heard but I haven't got down to doing that yet. I'll have to do that when I'm free, not at the moment. Maybe I'l try to type a bit every day. We'll see. Have a calculations test this coming tuesday. Second day we're back in uni and they have to have a test that requires 80% to pass. It's open book though, so I hope I'll do well. That elusive full mark is really..elusive.

Like today's weather, I've been feeling sort of grey, gloomy and rainy today. 不知为什么，心里就是觉得空虚虚的。

Went to a birthday dinner buffet last night. So many people went, as many as 40 I believe, all but one are older than me. Well considering that they were celebrating two peoples' birthday, I guess it's reasonable for that size. Anyway, I know both birthday girls from high school and so there were quite a few of them from high school and a few boys. Some of the girls I'm quite close to I guess. But then I found it so tiring last night, just trying to socialize and catchup with what's going on in their life. I found myself shrinking as the night went on, maybe also due to the fact that I woke up at 7 in the morning. Went to sleep once I got home.

Today though, I'm still feeling an emptiness. Maybe it's the hormones going mad or something but I still feel the same as last night. Not much joy or enthusiasm in doing anything, not even for eating(with regard to buffet last night). So tired of socializing, so tired of forcing myself to study, so tired of everything. Feeling so lonely in this world somehow. Yes I have friends here, yes I contact my friends in Singapore, yes I still contact my best friends, but yet I feel alone, like some void. Is God going to fill that void? I don't know, maybe my hormones are really going mad. I haven't even contacted my 'close-friend' from uni yet this week. She has contacted me either, maybe because she doesn't really use Facebook or something. Anyway, end of this emo post, have to listen to at least one more lecture before I sleep tonight!

Not been posting for a week or so, been trying to catch up with lectures but obviously not really working haha.

Anyone keeping up with kpop news will know about seungri's scandals, yes with an 's'. There's been like 2 in such a short period of time. Well in the first scandal, apparently he had intercourse with a woman who took pictures of him while he was sleeping(topless) and revealed some really weird supposedly 'sexual habits' that he had. Well honestly, if you tip your head to the right to look at the picture of the sleeping face, it doesn't really look like him..like the face shape doesn't look right, or maybe it's just me. Although I don't support celibacy, he's an adult that can be responsible for his own actions so I guess in a sense, I'm not that concerned whether or not it's true. Didn't see an official statement from YG about this translated on websites so I'm not sure if they've made an official statement about it. Second scandal was a Japanese actress/model hugging and kissing him in the late night. I watched the video and well, she hugged him and kissed him but he didn't have any reaction. He didn't push her away or hug her/kiss he back. It said somewhere that she was drunk? So awkward at this part in the video where the girl adjusts her clothes before leaving the karaoke lounge and she just pulls her dress down slightly and revealing her chest..but anyway, it was published by apple daily from Taiwan. Trust taiwan's paparazzi...taiwan I still love you but I have no respect for your paparazzi I'm sorry. YG made an official statement saying nothing scandal worthy was done that night. Funny how everyone shut up after that. All it requires is A sentence. Interesting to see how private lives are invaded just because they're famous.

On another note, saw 2 articles that caught my eye yesterday on yahoo. One was about how science may one day prove God doesn't exist. Well, you don't exactly see people looking for how science does prove that God exists do you. Like my previous post about how tree is some sort of physical proof of God's existence? What are the chances that a big bang occurs that can create one planet out of 8(used to be 9) that has perfect conditions to support life? Why do some people want to believe so badly that God doesn't exist? Let's move on to the second article now. Some Harvard researcher examined some fragment that showed that early Christians believed Jesus had a wife because apparently the fragment says that Jesus said 'my wife' 'can be my disciple' or something like that. First of all, the bible never said Jesus had a wife. How is it possible for Jesus who is God himself to marry a sinful human? And in Hebrews 5:8-10, God appointed Jesus as a high priest with his obedience. Being the Son, he would obey his Father and therefore obey the 10 commandments. God doesn't allow celibacy, do you think Jesus would commit Celibacy? I don't think so.

Heard a testimony from a guy that God literally rise him front the dead. When everyone gave up on him, God revived him. Shall share about it in a post tomorrow.

Blogging at this unearthly hour is unhealthy. Really. I have no idea why I am posting now at 1am. Didn't post over the weekend so maybe my hands are getting itchy.

Went jogging/walking when I got back from uni today. Time to start exercising since spring has started and it's not that cold anymore. I used to complain about PE and didn't enjoy it much(especially 2.4) but now I guess I sort of appreciate the government's efforts in incorporating PE into the curriculum. In Melbourne once you get to the senior years o high school, you no longer have compulsory PE lessons and lazy people like me just don't exercise at all except for those once a year sport events. When you get to uni it's even worse. You eat outside more for lunches and obviously don't have PE. A lot of people here go jogging and swimming regularly but not having that kind of lifestyle, I just sit at home all day sitting and hermit-ing around the house. Realized how bad my stamina is now. Think I shall work toward building it up again, about my previous standard 2 and a half years ago? I read somewhere that when you have more muscles you have a higher metabolism so you tend to burn up more calories even at rest. Well, for now just trying to build up some stamina and then next will be abs haha. Not like rock hard pacs but more toned? I think it is slightly unsightly to wear tighter shirts and have a bulge sitting there, especially now since summer is coming and well, you wear less material compared to winter where you're all covered up.

Was thinking about stuff in the shower(lol I'm weird it's ok..) I think I blogged about this before but I'll just talk about it since it's stuck in my head. Anyway, when I went back last year, I went to this church gathering thing for the helpers of the kids church and then we were doing some worksheet that was involved in the game that we played. Anyway, there was a question on the worksheet in Chinese asking you to classify certain materials and there was 橡皮 on it. Although being quite certain 橡皮 is rubber, it din't fit on the flow chart and I asked to double check what it was. This older girl answered me and told me 橡皮 is plastic..and then she said in a sort of superior voice that she confirmed it was correct and she was from some JC(I don't remember which one, but it was quite good I think). Now that I keep thinking of it, it's so funny lol. Can you imagine a 橡皮袋?!! A 橡皮擦 is called 橡皮擦 for a reason, it's called a rubber, I'm pretty sure 塑胶 is plastic. Anyway, stupidly I accepted what she said hahah but anyway, anyone reading this will now know that 橡皮 is rubber and 塑胶 is plastic.

Alright, shall end here for today. Going to dreamland!



EEEEEEnteresting statistics I have for this blog. Yes I know I spelt 'interesting' wrong there.

So weird..I have 2 page views from people who searched 'your butt has touched me most 9gag' like what?! I don't think I have a picture from 9gag that came with those words. Don't have that many readers since I started this long time ago when everyone had a blog and I don't think my life is that interesting that many people will read about it. 21 pageviews from singapore, and I have readers from Russia, Australia, Germany, US, China and Mexico(in order of decreasing pageviews) I didn't even know about this stats thing until recently. Obviously I haven't been exploring the new blogger dashboard layout.

Really tired today. Had a test today and it went well so..at least my lack of sleep paid off.
Was going to finish studying one topic each day since monday but that obviously didn't work out very well since I had to stay until 11.30pm the night before and wake up at 5.30am to actually finish studying all the notes. Arrived in uni at 8.30am, skipped 2 lectures to study some more and look through the tute sheets and the workshop I had yesterday.

I really shouldn't be complaining because all my friends(in Singapore) are probably only getting 3-4 hours sleep just studying for prelims and preparing for A's. It's so soon I can't believe it. That would be me now if I didn't move. Till today, I still believe I wouldn't have survived if I stayed. I think coming to melbourne has made me mature a lot in regards of motivation. Went to a pretty good high school but then kinda slacked off without the motivation. I wasn't doing well, I wasn't really paying attention in class and all those kind of things. When I came here, everything changed. In a sense, things seemed more achievable than it is in Singapore. I guess that made me feel more motivated to study hard and to actually do well and aim high, because no matter how high I aimed in Singapore, I never ever met my goal. To date, the only time I have met my goal in terms of academic results would probably be my PSLE result. Everything else hasn't been able to meet up to that yet.

Anyway, sorry for the lack of a picture in this post. Didn't find anything interesting to take pictures of. Weather was so-so today, one minute with the crazy wind and the next with blue sky and sun, that's melbourne weather for you. Apparently the wind's going to be very strong(120km/h) for the next 2 days or so. Every night, the wind's blowing like crazy, it almost feels like the house will start shaking. Maybe that's why I saw 2 ambulances and 1 fire engine drive past uni today. How often do you see so many emergency services dispatched in a day? \

Alright, I'm really sleepy now. Will post again tomorrow, hopefully with a picture too!

Back from uni now, been a long day..especially without my pencil case! Was walking home just now along the train tracks, not the main pathway past the front of houses but by the back and look what I saw! The beauty of God's creation never fails to make me smile(:
Have a good day!

This dumb person here(points to self) forgot to bring her pencil case today, meaning I have no stationary..the lat time I forgot to being my pencil case was like years ago I think..it's been a while. Blogging gin my lecture now because I don't have my notes nd neither do I have my stationary-.- such. Genius, forgetting to do do many things..ok I should start acting attention.

Spring is officially here!! Well, yesterday was the first day of spring but I sort of forgot to post about it. It's really early but I can't get back to sleep due to the chorus of birds outside my window. No kidding. I ever called my friend once on Skype and she was like DO YOU LIVE IN A FOREST?!! So many birds...

Once I get out of bed, the bird chorus stops-.- jut went outside to take some nice pictures and the air is cold and fresh! Wouldn't mind going jogging in this weather. Should probably get some work done since I'm already up.. Have a test on Thursday, not much time left to study..

Finally finished my 2000 word essay! Stayed up till 1am last night finishing up the referencing. I think towards the end my argument points were quite..rubbish. But I finished it before the deadline so..thankful that I managed to finish it on time. Was super malu and didn't know about the declaration for original work. In the end I printed another copy in uni, stuck a note to it and handed in a second copy. Better to be safe than sorry!

Had a lot of free pancakes today too! Uni had free pancakes during lunch and of course I put maple syrup! Then after uni, went to eat free pancakes at pancake parlor. You have to like their page an claim the offer. It's so nice haha. It probably sounds disgusting but pancakes with ice cream and maple syrup is so delicious!

Anyway, why I titled this post realization? I read something online yesterday(while I was supposed to be doing my essay) and one thing was quite interesting really. People who don't believe in God believes our universe began from what is known as the big bang. Scientists may have theorized it and even proven that it is true but what they are unsure of, is why or rather, the cause of the big bang that created the universe one fine day. Did the big bang just happen to occur and just happen to create the universe in which earth is the only planet able to support life? Is it just coincidence that earth is the only planet with an appropriate amount of water and an atmosphere to support life? Is it coincidence that the Earth is located not too far and yet not too near the sun? There was some info about the moon being perfectly sized too but I don't remember the details. On deeper thought, I don't think all this is coincidence. It was made to happen. If not, wouldn't we all exist out of coincidence? In the beginning, God commanded for light and it was given. It wasn't said how but it just did. Maybe the big bang did occur on God's command. Some food for thought(: accompanied by a picture of pancakes!


Spring is here!! Fixed the piasaweb thing and so here's the first of the barrage of pictures that I hope to post in future updates!

Guess I was wrong after all, which is a good thing of course :D

Weather's turning sososo nice. I will go fix the blogger app on my iPod after I finish this post..it's been a bit too long-.- Yay! Then I can post pictures more often! Pictures of..stuff I see around, nature etc.

Apparently it's going to rain tomorrow and it's really cold tomorrow too so boooo):

Anyway, had a single tute today from 3-4pm, and that's my entire timetable for today. For one of the few rare times I actually knew how to do the tute sheet. It's  not a good sign that I'm not sure what I'm doing but I think it's getting better now because I actually know how to do my chem tute sheets with all the mechanisms, determining starting products and products because now I actually get it. Did mechanisms last term too but..I didn't really get it and had to resort to memorising tons of equations that in the end I forgot almost half so..at least now I understand it and can try to end up with some possible product.

Still now done with my essay :/ Finished like a quarter of my last point and the conclusion. I must finish it tonight because I need to start studying for my test next week. Need to edit the answers for some questions for a group assignment also due on friday.

Meeting my primary school friend next thursday! Actually, I think we knew each other since kindergarten. I AM NOT KIDDING. Since K2 to be exact. We were in the same class and then ended going to the same primary school. Was never really THAT close but it's still quite amazing that she remembered me lol. Being very..unpopular in primary school(not like I was extremely popular in high school or over here either), I didn't expect anyone other than less than 10 people to remember me. I actually remember quite a lot of people but I think they probably won't remember/recognise me anymore. I think I've changed so much, character-wise or appearance-wise, I've changed so much I think not many people will recognise me haha. I'll be quite shocked if some people see me in public and actually recognise me haha. Even in sec2/sec3 in chinese tuition I met 3 other guys all my year from the same primary school and I'm quite sure not a single one of them recognised me. I just found one of them on facebook lol. I even remember his full name-.- Only 3 other peihwa people are mutual friends..should I add him? We were even tablemates in P3 I think. Anyway, the friend I'm meeting, I don't she has changed that much honestly. More mature looking, straight hair now, probably still as tall haha (yes she and her twin sister were so tall last time). She has a twin sister haha, don't think I'm going to meet the sister. Was closer to her than to her sister I think. I couldn't tell them apart in primary school lol. Now after a bit of facebook stalking, I realise the way they smile for photos is different haha. Think we're going for churros! :D Quite excited and nervous about the meeting haha. Don't know if I'll have anything interesting to say lol I'm quite a boring person.

Ohyes, before I forget haha
Spotted a double rainbow today! For the first time too! Really clear double rainbow, and then the entire primary rainbow(the obvious one) could be seen. So the entire arch was over the road. It was drizzling slightly, grey skies and the sun from the back. So beautiful haha God's promise ;)

无奈

Downloaded the blogger app on my ipod and tried to post something on it with a picture and it says I have to sign on to picasaweb first..what is that?! I thought it would be more convenient so I don't have to log in all the time and it will be more convenient to post pictures since I take pictures most of the time with my iPod but noooo, now I have to fix the picasaweb thing-.- Going to spend a bomb tomorrow..quite literally. Going out for lunch with my friends tomorrow(XIAO LONG BAO HAHAHA). The food at that shop isn't too expensive..aiming maybe about $10. Then after that, going for coffee at max brenners(I don't even know where the outlet is) with other friends and then going bowling. Bowling itself is..not cheap. Ok to someone who's working will probably find all this reasonable but to the non-working me..it's quite a large spenditure(did I spell it right?!) of money ok! And then getting a lift back from a friend. Yes, I have friends that can drive haha 

Goodness..I really have no comment about one of my lecturers..
The notes he gives don't even make sense and he keeps cancelling lectures and says it's for active learning. In the first lecture, he said, if you don't understand, read your lecture notes. And a few lectures later he says OH you don't need to know this stuff, you just have to understand it. Like SERIOUSLY?!  Even in the lectures, he doesn't even teach properly, like I have not taken a single thing out of his lectures at all. Shall not reveal about his position too much but he is like one of the deans. We don't pay our fees to walk out of every lecture wondering what the heck the lecturer is talking about. First of all, even if you want us to do active learning, give us clear and understandable notes first! Not the notes that you give us with barely any information explaining what is going on. If the whole cohort of students are complaining, shouldn't it be a problem with the lecturer? Even the tute sheet that was uploaded. How are we supposed to do it when everything is so vague? Even the units for measurements aren't even put in WHO IN THE WORLD KNOWS WHAT YOU MEAN?! I can't read your mind, that's for sure. You can have all the knowledge about this topic but you obviously aren't teaching it to us in a comprehensible way. Yes, we shouldn't be spoon-fed but the amount of information you give us is way too little. What do you expect us to do with that meagre bit of information that jumps around everywhere? Even in your lectures you can go from the first page to the last page and back to the middle somewhere. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU-.-

Really shouldn't be blogging(considering I have an oral presentation tmr) but nevertheless, here is another blog post.

I think I really do think a lot. Or maybe I'm just insecure. Or maybe I'm just oversensitive. My friend from uni recently started treating me sort of differently, not like being mean to me but just not as..lively/friendly as when we first became friends. Like with other people she seems quite cheerful and happy but then somehow she seems distant from me. Because she gets off the train stop after mine and we have the same timetable, we usually go home together and for about maybe the past week, we have had almost nothing to say on the train journey home, and in uni I just sit and listen. I'm not exactly her best friend but like I think the friendship is changing? Or am I just thinking too much as usual? I'm quite confused right now. Like I think last thursday, I purposely disappeared to the uni library after lecture and she was walking in front to the tram stop. She texted me about 10minutes later asking where I went, and the next morning I met her on the tram and all was good, and then now it has returned to the slightly awkward atmosphere again. So many questions passing through my mind, some of which are quite stupid..like is she angry at me? Did I do something? Or is she just tired of hanging out with me-.- I think I'm thinking too much right. I keep reassuring myself that I am thinking too much but..it isn't really working. Well, all I can do now is see how it develops.

I'm a pretty slow person also. I'm quite awkward as well, especially with adults, teachers and strangers. I am the kind of person that doesn't know what to say and my slow mind takes a hundred years to think of something to say or a conversation topic-.- Usually before I sleep I think about my day and all the stupid things I did that day haha, and end up regretting a lot of things I said and I even think up funny replies to something someone said that day. Yes, I'm that weird. I don't know why. And just out of the blue, I want to thank all my best friends who have put up with my weirdness and lameness and uh..slowness/retardedness over the years, especially miriam and sarah and zoenin. I can't seem to find a best friend here. I mean I do have friends, quite a lot I guess, but not any close/good friends that I can share everything with. Maybe it's too soon to speak since it's only been 3 years but it isn't impossible.

愛 - heart, friendship.
Friendship from the heart?

Name: ♥
Loves: rvcb klarinutz; music

- benson
- chinhong
- eva
- evan
- jennie
- kimyee
- klarinutz<3
- kristalynn
- muisock
- qinle
- sarah
- selina
- shuchin
- songhua
- vengyi
- wenhui
- xueqiang
- yihan
- zhiyi
- zoenin
- 2Deja-Vu
- 3Kilograms
- 4Knockout

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