ok, considering my first VCE paper is tomorrow, I shouldn't even be online but uh, I saw this on facebook on because I'm trying to keep off facebook I will not share it for now but post it here.

"THE (SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS
For the next 60 seconds, set aside whatever
You're doing and take this opportunity! Let's see if Satan
Can stop this.

... ... ... ... THE
(SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS

At the age of 33,
Jesus was condemned to death .

At the time
Crucifixion was the "worst" death. Only the worst
Criminals were condemned to be crucified. Yet it was
Even more dreadful for Jesus, unlike
Other criminals condemned to death by
Crucifixion Jesus was to be nailed to the
Cross by His hands and feet.

Each nail
Was 6 to 8 inches long.

The nails
Were driven into His wrist. Not
Into His palms as is commonly
Portrayed. There's a tendon in the wrist that
Extends to the shoulder. The Roman guards knew
That when the nails were being hammered into the
Wrist that tendon would tear and
Break, forcing Jesus to use His back
Muscles to support himself so that He could
Breath.

Both of His feet
Were nailed together. Thus He was forced to
Support Himself on the single nail that
Impaled His feet to the cross. Jesus could
Not support himself with His legs because of the pain
So He was forced to alternate between arching His
Back then using his legs just to continue to
Breath. Imagine the struggle, the pain, the
Suffering, the courage.

Jesus endured this
Reality for over 3 hours.

Yes,
Over 3 hours! Can you imagine this kind of
Suffering? A few minutes before He died,
Jesus stopped bleeding. He was simply pouring water
From his wounds.

From common images
We see wounds to His hands and feet and even the spear wound
To His side... But do we realize His wounds
Were actually made in his body. A hammer
Driving large nails through the wrist, the feet overlapped
And an even large nail hammered through the arches, then a
Roman guard piercing His side with a spear. But
Before the nails and the spear Jesus was whipped and
Beaten. The whipping was so severe that it tore the
Flesh from His body. The beating so horrific that His
Face was torn and his beard ripped from His face. The
Crown of thorns cut deeply into His scalp. Most men
Would not have survived this torture.

"

He had no more blood
To bleed out, only water poured from His
Wounds.
The human adult body contains about 3.5 liters
(just less than a gallon) of blood.

Jesus poured all 3.5
Liters of his blood; He had three nails hammered into His
Members; a crown of thorns on His head and, beyond
That, a Roman soldier who stabbed a spear into His
Chest..

All these without
Mentioning the humiliation He suffered after carrying His own
Cross for almost 2 kilometers, while the crowd spat in his
Face and threw stones (the cross was almost 30 kg of weight,
Only for its higher part, where His hands were
Nailed).

Jesus had
To endure this experience, to open the
Gates of Heaven,
So that you can have free
Access to God.

So that your sins
Could be "washed" away. All of them, with no exception!
Don't ignore this situation.

JESUS
CHRIST DIED FOR YOU!

He died for you! It
Is easy to pass jokes or foolish photos by e-mail, but
When it comes to God, sometimes you feel ashamed to forward
To others because you are worried of what they may think
About you.

God
Has plans for you, show all your friends what He experienced
To save you. Now think about this! May God bless your
Life!

60
Seconds with God...

For the next 60
Seconds, set aside what you're doing and take
This opportunity! Let's see if Satan can stop
This.

All you have to do
Is:

1. Simply
Pray for the person who sent this message to
You:

2.Then, send this
Message to people.. The more the better.

3. People will
Pray for you and you will make that many people pray to God
For other people.

4. Take a
Moment to appreciate the power of God in your life, for
Doing what pleases Him.

If you are not
Ashamed to do this, please, follow Jesus' instructions.
He said (Matthew 10:32 & 33): "Everyone therefore
Who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge
before My Father in heaven; but whosoever denies Me
before others, I will deny before my Father in heaven." 



You may have realised I changed my blogskin.
Been wanting to change it for a veryyyyy long time but then blogskins.com refuses to let me search any key words so I have to rely on the "tags" on the blogskins. I actually changed to another one that was pink but uh, I couldn't really match the colour of the tagboard and the blogskin so I just kinda gave up-.- it was quite a nice one though :/ the pictures on it were nice. But then there were quite a few restrictions on the size/length of some things like the tagboard and links so..decided to change it to another one. Another one that is easier to match the tagboard to and also has the cool one-picture-a-post thing. I actually changed the title of the blogskin and the big word on top so..
I've been using "wish upon a star" for AGES but then I don't have creativity and haven't come up with anything else yet so, will have to stick with it for now. It may make me sound like a daydreamy kind of person but uh, I'm not really like that ok. I just realised something wrong with the date and time-.- the year and the time joins together and looks like some futuristic number/year of the future-.-
I really like the picture that comes with every post hahahah anyone free to look for nice blogskins like that for me? :D
A downside though, is that the font is TINY. All of the blogskins I see have tiny font and it's normal-sized. I know we're young and stuff but seriously-.- the size is like ants crawling on my screen.
AND I realised the "memory" part is getting longer and longer! o.0 It used to be so short haha
It's the longest I've ever had a blog so, an achievement? Alright, I should be going hahahha
Sorry for my temporary obsession with dandelions><




Shall continue my update on yesterday because I realised there were some things I missed out on.
Well, after the ceremony and we left the hall there is this tradition of running out of the school by the driveway with other students waving blue and white balloons(school colours), the "final exit" from school. Anyway, it was raining and so we ran super fast then walked back into school by the back carpark for the accomodation(food and drinks). There was also the valedictory dinner last night but I didn't go. Too expensive hhaha..but whatever, not going to pay $85 for a 3 course dinner at the botanic gardens-.-

ahahha, just felt I had to blog because some random woman called and it was..quite funny
woman: hi, how're you today?
me: good?!! (how awkward would it be if I said terrible hahahah)
woman: that's good, (and then she begins talking about I don't know what-.- with a word complimentary in her sentence)
me: what?! (her background was quite noisy)
woman: I'm inviting you to a complimentary meal next week!!
me: oh, where? (I meant to ask where I should be going to have the complimentary meal)
woman: A COMPLIMENTARY MEAL!! (and she was actually shouting into the phone by now-.-)
anyway, we ended the convo with her hanging up hahahhaha so funny><
I'm not deaf woman-.- I was going to specify my question and you just cut in so of course now it seems like you're talking to some deaf old woman-.-
First of all, please cut that CRAZY AUSTRALIAN ACCENT, normally I would understand that but your accent was just...
AND, please CALL IN A QUIET PLACE-.-
Don't scream into the phone, I can tell, thankyou.

ohlol, so funny how these advertisement people who call you always have funny accents and speak in a ridiculously fast pace-.- I didn't even catch a single word. Especially those Australians that call and talk in the super thick Australian accent and speaks like a bullet train. Dude, you want to be heard/understood, talk slower thanks. No one's going to get what you're saying if you talk at 1000000mph=.= Somehow all these people have really thick accents and after they've said hi you're actually like WHATT SAY YOU?!! Got called by another person once, an Indian lady, called a couple of times actually and I think she gave up HHAHAHAHAH sorry just so funny I have to share.

woman: Hi, how're you today? (their favourite greeting)
me: uh..good
woman: do you have a bank loan for your house? If so which bank? and how much?
me: uh, I'm not sure
woman: You don't have to disclose any personal information. (lol and she asked how much-.-)
me: uh, I'm not the owner of the house, I'm not sure of any bank loan.
woman: It's ok, do you have a bank loan? (IS SHE ON REPLAY OR WHAT-.-)
-facepalm- and then I just put down the phone hhahahahha
so ridiculous and funny LOL...ah, these people. Make me feel like an idiot talking to them but then after thinking about it, it's so funny hahahhaha XD



News of the day: I HAVE GRADUATED OFFICIALLY FROM HIGH SCHOOL



Last day of being 16.
Am I the only who doesn't want to grow up?
So many responsibilities, being mature etc.
and I don't know why but I don't like mentioning my birthday in melb.
I just don't want people to know I'm that much younger I guess...especially that one person.
I must NOT lose out to you.
Birthdays seem like such a big thing over here it's weird.
They have birthday parties/dinners every birthday..a bigger 18th and a very big 21st.
The last birthday party I had was when I was 12..the first birthday that is after exams in the period of primary school. Because PSLE ends earlier than normal school exams so my birthday falls in the week of PSLE marking week. Yes, it used to be a week and I believe now it's a few days. And then since then, my birthday has always been around exam period..even here-.-
I just want to..stay 16 forever hahahhaha (tells self to dream on)
I'm going to graduate next monday 24 oct. I still remember thinking in primary 4, how many more years I had to study before even going to uni and realising I had more than 10 years to go. I'm already halfway there. So soooon, don't even know what I want to do in uni. Sometimes, I really wonder if it was the right decision to skip a year..it's not like I can beat a rgs girl that is one year older(already, rgs already better than me but also one year older?!!) and not only that but also other smarttt people/hardworking people. Was doing maths and I realised how much work that needs to be done and it's taking me sooo long to do just 1 practice paper and that's only paper 2..there's still paper 1.
Tomorrow is the last day we're officially in school uniform, having lessons. thursday, friday dress-up, monday dress-up then change back to school uniform for my last assembly(leavers service) ever...last church service tmr too..all the 'last' stuff keeps coming up everywhere. I'm not sure I'm that happy to finally graduate. I don't even know what I want to do with my life. I just realised how hard it is to score that well..and me? sadly, is far far away from that target.
Screwed my chem sac on monday. So hard): And I probably made like a million careless mistakes as I always do...
Anyway, I guess this is the end of my 感言 as a 16-year-old.
Actually technically, I was born 4++pm singapore time 19 oct but Australia time is 7++ so I have...less than 24 hours still o.0



without realising it, today's wuzun's birthday!!
First birthday after being separated from fahrenheit):
it's really late now, I should be going><



“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

—Steve Jobs


Know who Steve Jobs is? The co-founder of Apple. 

“ When does a man die? When he is hit by a bullet? No. When he suffers a disease? No. When he ate a soup made out of a poisonous mushroom? No! A man dies when he is forgotten! ” -Steve Jobs


After facing pancreatic cancer for 7 years, he passed away this morning at the age of 56.
It is the very same cancer wuzun's mum had. 


I guess when you're facing Death like this, you don't think so much about how much longer you have to live, it's more about making every day count. Making every day meaningful because one day, all this will pass, one day, everyone will die. No one is going to live forever and what's the point of slogging your whole life and regretting  your whole life when you're done? 


Right now, facebook and probably other networking sites are flooding with RIPs Steve Jobs, all mostly from his creation, apple devices. This is how many people he has impacted with his creation. Indeed, we do owe him many thanks for his contribution and inspiration to this generation. So, thankyou for what you've done for this generation. You will be remembered, Father of Apple. 



Just a really quick one.
Finally, the wait is over! Into the sixth year now I believe and they called today to confirm. Thank you God for looking out for us and performing this miracle.
It's been 5 full years and a bit and the realisation that it's over...
so relieved, so thankful.



it's been raining like crazy today..and it was 25 degrees yesterday..
It's supposed to be spring-.-
But how come we're like back to winter again? >.<
Just realised howww much more work I have to do and sooo little time to do. Chem exam papers, methods exam papers, further exam papers. And I am super unprepared for the maths stuff..
chinese is only so-so
english is...my essays are getting shorter and shorter
and then that's it. So basically...I'm prepared for NONE OF MY SUBJECTSS!!
die..better go do some work..



...so dead...
零时抱佛脚是件不好的现象，千万不要学>.<
not even kidding...memorising my general convo is just...:O
and I'm only on page 3..
3.5 half pages to go and it's already 10.06pm...looks like I'll be sleeping really late tonight):



hm..shall just casually post since I'm already logged in...



sometimes, I'm just so clueless as to what my mum wants me to do.
When I'm not studying, she wants me to study.
When I'm studying she asks me to do this and that(mainly housework).
So uh, do you want me to study or what?!
Hello, you're not the only person busy with assignments to finish. Mind you, I'm the one taking vce this year. I'm the one that's studying to go to uni next year...

intense mugging for the next month and a half or so...well, 6 weeks to be exact. So little time, so much to do. I better get working!



shall do a really quick one...actually I'm just complaining about my life LOL
really tired, I have no idea what I'm doing right now
All I know is I MUST FOCUS
I think I will actually stick the word 'FOCUS' somewhere in my room..
Concentration means so much, competition is everything, doing well then of course, is a must.
Have to start getting a move on, got to start printing exam papers, got to start doing maths like crazy etc.
It just hit me that there's 7 weeks to exams including this week and there's millions of papers waiting to be done, so many maths questions waiting to be completed, chinese general convo and detail study to prepare for. In conclusion, I shouldn't even BE online-.-
goodnight world!(:



10 years on....it's the 10th anniversary of 911 (US time)
It's a tragedy that shook the world. The news was replayed and replayed...I still remember wondering what was happening in primary 1..
10 year on..I'm now turning 17...
time passes fast
but it takes a long time to heal.
It is hard to forgive, hard to forget.
I pray for peace to be endowed upon those affected by 911. God, may they feel comforted and touched by your love. In Jesus name, Amen.



I think this will probably be one of the last posts(or maybe the last actually) before vce examss...although it starts in november...the amount of work I need to do has just dawned upon and I finally 领悟了 and so basically, I will...be temporarily be going on a internet hiatus most likely by the end of this month. But before that I have to blog :D so here goes...

Prayer is basically the way you connect and maintain a relationship with God. Honestly, sometimes it's really hard to pray to a God you've never been able to see, and sometimes you just feel He isn't there, like He isn't listening. Has it ever occurred to you that He's remaining silent on purpose? Prayer to me, should be said from the heart and not pre-arranged speeches. I find it difficult to say "Dear Lord..." in that flat monotone voice because it isn't from my heart. How do you actually pray without meaning it. It is like 口是心非, you don't mean what you're saying then what's the point of saying? If you don't praise with all your heart and mean it then what's your purpose of praying...it just seems like a show, a meaningless show for people to watch. My primary school teachers used to tell us that if we don't study and pray to God to help us do well, He can't help us...which is sort of true in that sense. I guess God keeps from you what He thinks you shouldn't have or gives you things you deserve. It's reasonable in the way that you don't get everything you pray for then God's purpose would become your genie literally, to grant your every wish-.- His silence sometimes, I guess is also a small test of faith. By praying for more faith, your are just asking for more trials to test your faith, but then your faith will be strengthened :D

sorry>.< I ran out of content...shall blog again soon(:



I was just thinking, why does God make us wait?
And I think it's not only because God has His own plan for us, but also if we always get what we want quickly, wouldn't we view God as being at our beck and call?
Think of it this way. If I pray for something to happen and it happens the next day, and it always happens this way, I think I would take it for granted that God would grant me whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. God would be just a God that makes my wishes come true but I don't think He wants to be seen that way. He is the mighty God, the God who saves, will He tolerate such treatment? Similarly, it's like spoiling a child with materialistic wealth. A child may wish for something and his/her parents wanting to make their kid happy gets the thing for the child. I think God wants to share a relationship that is much closer than that of a Father who gives presents and gifts whenever we please. That is a really materialistic kind of relationship that can't compare to real kinship that a father may have with his kids. Also, I think waiting also in a way nurtures your faith. If you always get what you want, it's very shallow faith and relationship because then, you have faith for the reaping of materialistic wealth. After a long time, it is common to feel impatient and even abandoned, but then if you are able to hang on until God helps, it shows that your faith has the power to help you hang on to God, and the faith that God will perform miracles and help you.

Humans always tend to turn to God when in need or in trouble but forget about Him when life is all good and happy. It's hard to not be like that because in a way, I guess, it's sort of human nature. You can't help what's going to happen, but I think it's most important to thank Him every day for his provisions, for having a safe and settled life every day.

Give thanks, with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One



have been wanting to change blogskin for a while now but then blogskins.com search engine always isn't working for me. So I shall just have to stick with the current one :/
Someone's going nuts in his own room for no apparent reason. Yes just insult and call me names when all I did was leave the key in the door UNLOCKED. I didn't even say anything to you when you got back like dude seriously? Who do you think you are. All the eff words and I'm wondering how old you actually are DUDE YOU'RE NOT EVEN 12!! What is the world coming to? Lower primary school kids have phones that are touch screen/slide etc. P6 boy having his own iPod touch?!!technological revolution.

My earphones died T.T both sides totally no sound. I went back to using the original one that came with the mp3 but that one the left side has already died so left the right side only. 3-4 sets of earphones died within 3-4years is that bad? About 1 set each year. Most of them is because the left side no sound the one that just got spoilt is the first one that both sides have totally zero sound. Went to look up if I can fix it but uh...apparently you can but it's not easy, might as well get another one-.- There are some people whose earphones spoil once every 3-4 months-.- Have no idea what they do with their earphones-.-

Anywayy, it's free dress day tomorrow! :D And there's band tmr morning too! I love band o.0 although it's so tiring to wake up so early(although in singapore I always woke up at that time every single day). To other people band is a burden but I enjoy it...lol performance in 3 weeks!! :O I have a solo ;) It's actually an oboe solo but the oboe girl doesn't want to play it-.- As if you don't want your solo!! And it's not like it's very hard but uh...really thankful for the solo then? I think it's one of the last performances EVER so it's like a perfect ending I guess, for me that is.  Dedication is not easy I guess, that's why not many people come on time...

ok I really should go now...need to go study more probability and memorise my chinese detail study(oral) stuff>.< update another time



Recently, the topic of forgiveness has been popping up everywhere, last Sunday's sermon, Monday school assembly, today chaplain's assembly.
Is God trying to tell me to forgive someone? Or is He asking me to pass on the message to somebody? Shall share some points from Sunday's sermon.

Forgiving isn't forgetting. The phrase "forgive and forget" is almost impossible to achieve. When you're hurt, it not very possible or likely that you'll totally forget that incident. Forgiving is starting the healing process of the heart. By thirsting for revenge just stops that healing process and at the same time, implying to God that you don't need his control and you can settle all this yourself. Forgiving isn't easy and I know that from experience. People have hurt me and after a while, I learnt to let go. Put the matter into God's hands and He will solve the problem for you. He is always in control and will never forsake you. It is a matter of whether or not you believe and have faith in Him to be in control and solve your problems.

Forgiving doesn't also mean a relationship. Some people will just hurt you over and over again. There's no point in continuing being related to them. A relationship needs both parties to work for it. If the other party isn't willing, you're just wasting your time and you'll just get hurt over and over again.

Because we are forgiven, we should forgive. Break the cycle of revenge and spread God's love, the essence of christianity. Trust that He knows and He heals. There is a parable in the bible in which a lord showed mercy and forgave his servant who did not return his money on time when the servant pleaded with him. That same servant then went to another servant who owed him money. When the debtor pleaded with the creditor, that creditor who was pardoned did not show mercy and threw the debtor servant into jail until he returned every single cent. When the other servants heard of this, they went to the master and told him. The master then called the servant he had pardoned and reprimanded him for not showing mercy that he was shown. That servant was thrown into jail and tortured until every cent was returned. In the same way, show God's grace that He has shown to you.

Today, during mustard, we were also talking about why bad things happen on Earth. Bad things is an understatement but I have no idea what other words I should use. There isn't a why doesn't God send us this and provide us with that. I don't think that there's such things as "God, I want rain, please send rain". I believe He has reasons for all His doings and sometimes these catastrophes are caused by the devil to rock your faith. In the same way, God may use these catastrophes to save people and let the victims grow deeper in faith. I listened to a sermon a while back and the preacher said "It's not that God provides rich people with all their money and possessions, if it's that way, God is being unfair and why would He do that? It just happened that you're born in the right time in the right environment, in the right place." I guess it's sort of true because why would God provide so much for one person and not so much for another? But in times of trouble, in times of need, it's sometimes really hard to turn your eyes to God, especially when you've been waiting. I, for one am so familiar with this waiting. My family's been waiting for the 6th year now. But I believe God is moving. Situation has improved and I trust that God will take care of us and solve the problem. It hasn't been easy and many times, my parents have asked God, "How long more do we have to wait?". Waiting is difficult and sometimes you just want to give up. You just have to have the faith that God will do a miracle and solve whatever problems you have. Trust that God knows best and He'll love you and will always be there for you no matter what.
Hope anyone who reads this feels encouraged to continue through your hardship! ♥





Forgive me for saying so but don't you think you're soooo ridiculously unreasonable?
cooking the rice 10 minutes later won't kill you. Just because David needs to get out by 5.30 doesn't mean I have to cook rice in blazer and jumper. ARE YOU AWARE THAT ALL THE CLOTHES I'M WEARING ARE LONG SLEEVED AND ISN'T VERY CONVENIENT TO WASH RICE? Does it matter to you that I'm feeling sick? It's not like I want to be but hello? can't even change clothes first isit? Yes, go on insulting me. It's not my fault David has to get out by 5.30. I'm not the one who signed him up for lacrosse. I'm not the person who introduced him to lacrosse and it's my fault the hole puncher disappeared? And it's also my fault david can't find the stupid pack of raisins that was supposed to be in the pantry but WASN'T? Can't you just admit you're wrong instead of saying WHATEVER? Yes, I owe my life to you but then be a bit more reasonable can-.- everything also my fault when we're rushing for David. Yes, totally..



It's NATIONAL DAY!! :D


Funny how we feel more patriotic overseas. I was never the really crazy enthusiastic patriot in singapore, not saying that I am one now. Still remember singing 'Home' super loud in P6 with Ruth and Winnie. Don't know how are they right now. It's been 5 years already!! I just found Winnie's facebook :O don't know if she still remembers me or not, but just add anyway :D

Anyway, back to the topic of national day. For  a government to have a nation with national pride is not easy. Recently the inflating influx of foreigners mainly scholars and expats haven't exactly made singaporeans jump with joy. The US economy downturn isn't going to help the economic situation either. But I think it's a long way that Singapore as a country, a nation has come. Today celebrates the 46th year of independence, the 46th anniversary of LKY's achievement in the history of Singapore. I'm not a supporter of any political group but the fact that LKY helped achieve Singapore's independence will not be changed. The fact that he once loved Singapore THAT much(I have no idea about his love now though) and the fact that Singapore has come this far. We came from a generation of poor immigrants, seeking the hope of a better life. Look where Singapore stands now. It's too crowded but at the same time the modern city is it's image. Singapore has moved from literally a kampong to a city. Although there're so many people and it's really overcrowded, public transport is just PACKED, construction of the new train line going on in various areas, in a way, everything is progressing.

To me, singapore is still my home. My home with all my friends and relatives, all my memories, my childhood. There are some people who I'm so thankful to God that I met. People who stood by me, quarreled but made up. Honest statement from me, if you can have a big quarrel with your friend and still end up as good friends, it shows that they treasure that friendship as much as you and your friendship will be even stronger. Singapore is where all my memories lie and there it shall stay.

Home
Whenever I am feeling low
I look around me and I know
There's a place that will stay within me
Wherever I may choose to go
I will always recall the city
Know every street and shore
Sail down the river which brings us life
Winding through my Singapore

This is home truly, where I know I must be
Where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows
This is home surely, as my senses tell me
This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home

When there are troubles to go through
We'll find a way to start anew
There is comfort in the knowledge
That home's about its people too
So we'll build our dreams together
Just like we've done before
Just like the river which brings us life
There'll always be Singapore

For this is where I know it's home
For this is where I know I'm home


It's been so long but this is still my favourite ndp song. (On the topic of ndp songs, the new versions are so....it ruins the meaning of the song. BRING BACK THE ORIGINAL VERSIONS!! :D)
家



Was going to memorise the first page of my detail study but uh, doesn't work. I think I memorise these things best in my room or on the train.
Really tired and sleepy although I slept earlier than usual yesterday. Feel like just going home to sleep somemore-.-
Got chem midyear results yesterday. The result's ok but not exactly jumping with joy about it. The percentage of boys compared to girls who got A+ is so different.
This week is pretty relaxed compared to last week. Chinese teacher is on camp, no tests/sac this week! But then I still need to memorise the first page of my detail study. I have no idea how I'm going to remember any of it. I think at most I'll get through to half the page.
I think I've lost my motivation to study this week. I've been putting of studying probability since last week. Should probably start soon...

Some people just don't know when to stop. They don't know when enough is enough. They just keep going on and on, assuming everyone has to talk to them, assuming they know everything, assuming that they're the boss. People who constantly say "you're a genius, I should be the one who should be worried", just STAY AWAY FROM ME. Stop talking like you know me so well. You don't. Just stop. Enough is enough. I just wanted to make a friend, and you? You just have to go on and on about how your studies arne't that good. If you're trying to praise me, you're doing it wrong. I know I'm not a genius. I'm not the type of kid that doesn't study and still gets full marks on a test or anything like that. I can study and still fall short of the full mark by a lot. Know your place and stop saying things like that. I don't like how you ask me how's my day and this sac and that sac EVERY SINGLE DAY AFTER SCHOOL. This just screams one word - "DESPERATION". Leave me alone ok? I'm not interested, will never be. At first I thought you were just being friendly, now I just want you to disappear. Stop asking me every single thing that's going on in my life. If I want to tell you, I'll tell you. Stop asking. I don't need to tell you anything, don't need to reply your messages, don't need to carry out small talk with you. If I want to talk to you, I will, just stop everything you're doing now, go and study and leave me alone! After not replying you since last thursday, do you not know how to take the hint to stop-.- I'm talking to you because I'm nice ok? I'm not interested in you, full stop, period. No one else talks to you because you're just so...I don't know, naggy? I have no idea how to describe it or even to respond. I'm being nice because I just think it's mean to ignore people like that but it's too much, I don't feel like being the nice person to you anymore.



200th post! :D
longest blog I've ever kept, although I'm not that faithfully updating and no one comes to read anyway.
everyone's doing their own thing, I'm doing my own.
SO BOREDDD
school is so boring, everything is so boring
I live just for the days,
live day by day, solving problems day by day
no future plan.


觉得可惜，觉得遗憾，觉得失落
虽然以前的中文水平不是那么的高，现在好像变更低了。好不甘心。
做detail study后的一些感想还要写说这提高了我的中文水平。明明就没有，为什么一定要这样说呢？我的中文水平本来就比现在的程度高，现在还要装说这对我很有帮助，为何要这样说？以前中文对我来说很难，但是现在其实满怀念的。真想不到以前一个半小时就把700－800个字的作文写完，现在却在写250字的作文，一切不如从前。
很怀念也很想念，依旧。
Australia' chinese oral examination is not even a test of oral skills on how fluent you are or how accurate you are. Bluntly said, IT'S A WASTE OF TIME. You want to test standard, test reading not MEMORISING. Chinese oral here is PURE MEMORISING. Hello? This is oral not a test of memorisation skills-.- Who can remember a total of almost 10 pages full of words for examiners to ask less than half of those questions?! ridiculous.
but then again, it's good that I left. I don't think I can continue in that kind of environment, juggling cca, school work, test, tuition etc. We aren't made of steel-.-
ohwell, end of rant.

melbourne's weather is going crazy again-.-
last week was so nice and warm and sunny and then it has to rain today
which means the coming week is going to be COLD. -sigh-
I used to complaing about how hot singapore was but I think having a stable weather condition is better than having weather that plays jokes on you and is so TEMPERAMENTAL-.- seriously. I rains for like 5 minutes, stops and THE SUN COMES OUT. Really hard to gauge when to wash the clothes because when the sun comes out, you bring the clothes out to dry.  After bringing all the clothes out, a grey cloud floats into vicinity and it's going to rain-.- so many times already!



好想停留在这个时刻。
从未成熟到现在的我，长大得好快。
转眼间已经是在读最后一年了。
从来没有想过要赶快长大，可是现在渐渐成长就好想要停止时间。
从不想到这里来，却开始喜欢这里的读书环境。
放弃了很多，得到了也很多。
我遇见的朋友，我都很珍惜。
很羡慕弟弟还在长高的状态，哪像我，没有再长高了。

ohman, why am I so reflective today>.<
is it because VCE's only 3 months away now?
the time to make the most important decision in my life is around the corner.
This term's a flurry. Week after week, it seems like a mundane routine but then each week brings us one week closer to the last year of high school. Never thought this would be so soon. I still remember thinking how old people in JC were, and now I'm here myself, I can't believe I'm this age. I can't believe I'm going to uni next year. I can't believe everything that's happening now in fact. I think I've changed a lot ever since I came here. I don't know in what way but I just have. When I went back to singapore, it felt like I just continued where I left off/of(?) It's just like my time in singapore was on pause and started to continue playing when I went back to visit, and now it's on pause again. People I know, enlisting soon, others going to uni already...



Finally am almost done with detail study. It's been taking up so much time to find information and then answer questions, edit answers etc. Now I just mainly left the questions on why I chose this topic and what I learnt from this topic.
Honestly, I have no idea what I learnt from Zhenghe's expeditions. I first knew him through my chinese textbook in primary school talking about how he travelled to the West Sea and gave all the expensive jewels etc. to other countries. I don't recall any motive being mentioned or what they were trying to achieve through his expeditions. Well, in a way, I did learn a lot more about Zhenghe and the whole situation of his maritime exploration. He actually made it all the way to East Africa, which is a major feat itself, and his treasure fleet consisted of ships larger to Columbus ships. He traded with many different countries and got other countries to pay tribute to China, in a way expanding the empire. But what did I learn from this event? Perseverance? Patience? Planning of journey?

my phone is so inactive it's just crazy..I used to send about 15-20sms a day last time because I got 10 free when I sent 5. Now? 1 message is so expensive, 1 call costs just $1.17 to hear the phone ring whether or not the person picks up. Going out just costs too much like eating etc. I live like a hermit-.-



so dead x_x
14 practice umat papers to finish. If it was chem, it wouldn't be a problem since each paper only take 1.5 hours BUT umat is a HUGE problem, since each paper takes 3 hours to complete. AND I LEFT 7 DAYS TO DO ALL 14 INCLUDING TODAY...which means I have to do about 2 papers every day and I still have drills to do...umat is next wednesday 1.30pm and I have to leave house before 12 I think, to get there on time, which also means I can't do a paper on wednesday...which means I have to rush papers this weekend...Doesn't help that there's a chem sac next thursday and methods sac next friday, and then englsih sac the week after. I honestly think I'm going to waste $770 because I don't think it's that possible for me to get like 91% to get an interview-.- it's just crazy-.-
adding on, super tired-.- I slept early last night, like 10.30, woke up at 6.30, slept all the way to school on the train like some pig. Couldn't actually keep my eyes open>.< then the stupid train at richmond had to be delayed for 10 minutes and then I missed the tram therefore had to walk to school then when I was halfway there the tram came. Not funny-.- today is windyyy~



so pissed.
Why must you always do all the sai gang/shit work when only you and me are home-.- and then you make me do half of it-.- where is David when you need help? POOING HIS HEAD OFF. and when you're cooking, he's at the dining table RIGHT NEXT TO THE KITCHEN, who do you call? ME, when I'm doing WORK. Me, black face? fyi, you looks like that too ok. You just don't want to let me use computer because I can and you can't, using study as an excuse-.- I can study on the computer too ok. You just don't want me to touch. And how come David touches for hours and hours PLAYING GAMES? HUHUHUH? please explain?! Who wakes up at 9am on a saturday morning to do housework-.- I woke up in ANTICIPATION for the FORMAL, and now I have no mood to even care. Every minutes you ask me to run off to do some shit. I NEED TO GET READY TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE BY ABOUT 1.30pm OK! Just because some people are coming to our house doesn't mean they will come and inspect the stupid floor and lick it or something-.- Nobody's going to stare at your toilet' bin's contents. Nobody's going to inspect each and every room and approve of it or something.
Stayed up till 12 last night doing my nails and some got ruined so I had to do it again this morning and you ask me to run all over the house, from vacuuming the living room+my room+David's room to hanging the wet laundry-.- Not funny woman-.- I HATE MY VACUUM CLEANER-.- It's the OSIM iEcologi and it WEIGHS A TONNE no joke. You thought is was good because you could steam mop too but NO it had to spoil. And then the stupid tubing had to be replaced. And best part of all, we shipped it down before all this happened-.- We shipped a stupid heavy vacuum cleaner that doesn't steam mop(which it's supposed to) and now a wheel has to drop off meaning we have to CARRY the vacuum cleaner around the house to vacuum the floor-.-
I may sound like some spoilt brat here but seriously? This vacuum cleaner is a KILLER-.-



sometimes, I think during quarrels, people should step down from their pride and just apologise. What's holding you back? What do you lose for apologising? Your pride? And is it worth losing your friendship for a meaningless quarrel? What's the point of quarreling? If you were really good friends, you would make up after the quarrel. You wouldn't stop speaking to each other, you would be friends with an even stronger friendship. Sometimes, you shouldn't take things so seriously. From the experiences I had, why let these bother you? You just become angry and resentful and you can't do anything well. The fact that you are getting angry shows you care about what the other person is thinking. If you genuinely don't care about the person, then you wouldn't be angry with the person in the first place-.- AND it's probably just a misunderstanding...clear that up and won't you be fine already-.-



not sure what I'm doing here at this time. It's 10/47pm, I should be sleeping-.-
just finished marking the 2009 paper. OHMAN at this rate I'm going to screw VCE midyears AGAIN which I CANNOT AFFORD. But then that paper apparently was one of the hardest so far...so is that a good sign? I did pretty ok except for the careless ones and a few I didn't have time to complete. Looks like I need to work a lot more quicker.
Honestly, I can't WAIT till the exams are over. I'm also not very extremely prepared. But then, so many things to do, so little time. Stupid chinese detail study takes over from general conversation. Much more research, much more time, MUCH MORE MEMORISATION. And then there's chem. And methods. And basically that's all I care about o.0 I shall go sleep now. Chem sac tmr! practice exammmmmm): I must finish it! -reminds self to bring watch tmr-



it's been a few days...
tired this week, no reason why though...no sacs, I sleep not very late etc.

ohwell, sometimes some people are just not worth your time and effort.
If you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything.
Some people treat you like you're invisible even though you're bang right in front of them.
They pretend to be nice to you in front of people they care about.
But that just shows how fake they are.
If you are ignored by someone like that, they are not worth your sincerity.
They think they're all up there but they don't realise what they really are and that is probably their loss.
To have a character like that does not make you be the top.
Insecurity maybe? I don't know but it's definitely not my business.
I'm not going to be bothered by the fact that you ignore me(gee why would I care honestly-.-)
I shall end my rant because it is kind of late now.
Good night!(morning actually..)



tired tired tired
such a bad idea to sleep late on a sunday night.
I am just wondering how I used to survive waking up at 6am every single morning, staying back like 6-6.30pm twice a week and then eating lunch at 3++ every single day. Not to mention chinese bu ke every monday then ends at 4++?!! Of course it's much more intense now in Singapore. Lessons end mostly at 4pm almost every day and that's without cca...

think I'm going to do bound feet for detail study...
pictures are gruesome but there isn't much to do on Zheng He(the famous explorer guy for those who don't know) can't find much information about him except that he's muslim, he's a eunuch and he sailed all the way to Africa..so I need 4 general areas from that but not much to say in each point right?
so I guess I'm going to do bound feet...Reading about how it's done, it just shows how sadistic men were...subjecting women to such pain for your um...sexual desire is very...self-centred. And apparently it was pro-confucious in the aspect that women had to be reliant on their husbands and couldn't run about the place and stay mostly at home...Tie your feet to get married?!! But then again, men used to have more powere over women so...women were subjected to such a harsh practice as KIDS. Robbed them of their childhood, caused them to suffer for the rest of their lives. And the worst thing of all is that it was carried out for about 1000 years!! Good thing it was stopped.



Melbourne weather's driving me nuts-.-
was already so called and now it has to rain NON-STOP
how is this even possible-.- should be close to snowing soon-.- in the morning it's 4-6 degrees, at night maybe 1-2 degrees more..it wasn't this cold last year...
but also because of the rain that I saw a beautiful glowing rainbow. Was on the train(glen waverley line) and saw a rainbow that had it's base on the opposite sides of the train...which makes it seem like the train is passing through the rainbow arch. So beautiful especially when the sun came out and the left side of the rainbow started GLOWING. It disappeared exactly at 2.59pm...then as I was going to cross the road(at 3.11pm) I saw another one...how do I know it was another one? the arch was pointing in a different direction. Lasted for a much shorter time but still first time I ever saw 2 rainbows in one day couldn't take any pictures because well, my phone camera wouldn't e able to see it anyway...
beautiful sight in a freezing cold day...

wonder what's wrong with melbourne weather this week...it's absurdly/unbearably COLD...not to mention the rain that soaks into your shoes...this is no fun-.- I wear like a shirt and a jumper AND a fleece jacket thing at home-.- in school, it's shirt, school shirt, school jumper, school blazer AND it's still cold>< wind and rain just doesn't make it any better><

David's off to camp for the whole week...I wonder how he's surviving when I'm freezing...
and the downside of him going to camp is I have to wash the dishes AND dry the dishes(which is his job-.-) and furthermore...the air is FREEZING so technically, touching water is a retarded action to be doing-.- Using the computer and playing the piano makes my hands freeze up, but then again, my hands freeze up pretty easily. The upside about David going to camp is, the house is much more quieter...would this be how it would be like if he wasn't born? My mother's back late, freezes then microwaves our dinner, makes me pack my own recess/lunch etc. It's a slightly different story when David is around...

busy weekend ahead, I better get a headstart!
This friday: Chinese role-play SAC
Next monday: Chem SAC; further bring-home SAC due
don't rmb what else I have...but that's it for now(:



funny how everyone has to return to their daily hermit life when just a night ago, everyone was on fb, encouraging each other.
Read some fb statuses and it seems like...it didn't go that well? Am I right? all the statuses seem so down...or maybe it's because it's the last performance with this batch of year 6s...

Feel kind of left out at the moment...everyone knows what happened except me, no one is around to tell me, all the statuses updated after syf don't include me o.0 (of course it wouldn't since I'm not even there-.-) I'm thinking too much. I shall stop. Everyone goes on with their life and so should I. I think band was my main source of motivation in rv. Sure band pracs were crazy, the number of band pracs during the holidays and before syf were crazy, but in the end, it's the place I met so many people, people who made my life different in rv.  I learnt so much. So, thank you seniors(and batchmates) for all the memories you have given me.



I resisted the urge to blog yesterday but then I blog today-.-
ohwell, here goes
RVSeniorBand SYF 2011 is here.
Regardless of the result, everyone knows how much effort and practise you peeps have put in so that in itself is commendable. The whole 10 minutes on that stage is yours. It's your decision what to do with it. Hopefully, past mistakes were learnt from and you guys come back triumphant this time!!(: Here's wishing you all the best in today's syf at 3.05pm.
I actually feel really sad that I can't be with this batch to play and work hard for this syf...it's the batch of band peeps that I'm closest to, probably spent the most time in band with and now after this last performance with seniors(year 6s) they're finally stepping down. It seems like yesterday that I was sec1. I still rmb the first band prac where I didn't know how to set up the music stand and zoenin helped me. And then sebby and jiayi being super scary when I was in sec1. And now, we've advanced from a sec1 junior recruit to a senior. The responsibilty increases, the skill has improved by a lot(especially after syf) and the bonds created become stronger by each band prac. It's the last time performing on stage with the current batch of RVseniorband peeps, treasure it.
RVSeniorBand, JIAYOU!!
klarinutz ftw <3
firsts! seconds! thirds! bass! GOGOGO!!
Sebastian, Jiayi, Lihua, Kaizhen
Kimyee, Zoenin, Kimberly, Yijun, Evan
all the best!!(:

the best I played on  stage was with this current batch,
the best I've ran 100m is also with this batch.
memories forever.



don't get it why parents make their kids clean up the house when a visitor visits...
like it actually becomes some major spring cleaning event every time
and of course, everyone knows that it's going to be equally messy the next day-.-
so what's the point?
your visitors aren't here to see the house-.- they're here to see YOU
I didn't invite them to come and stay in our house for a week, neither did you
but that doesn't give you the right to call for me to do things every single minute
that doesn't give you the right to scream at every person in the house
What's the point of cleaning up when by day 3, the house will be messy again?
vacuum, wash toilet, mop floor etc.
they're not going to freaking TOUR the whole house for the WHOLE DAY
they won't go to you and say IT'S NOT CLEAN HERE
they aren't health/hygiene inspectors
why do we have to clean the WHOLE HOUSE so that they can be introduced to a neat/clean house which will be dirty by at most day 3?
even so, it doesn't give you the right to scream.

it's miriam's birthday today!!(: so fast and it's already a year...still remember trying to rush out her present last year...not much time to do so this year though...it's test period in singapore(well, basically for my whole holiday-.-) so at the moment I have no one to talk to and no one to go out with(not like I very free luh-.-) ohwell...sometimes I feel like I'm living 2 lives...the aussie life and the singapore life...go to school, one life. Come back home, switch to other life again...



the holidays are half over and the amount of work I've done is not commendable
I don't want school to reopen):
parent's friends from singapore coming on thursday, staying at our house, going on holiday with us...

australia used to be a place I visit for holiday but now I live here. Never even thought of this before.
If you ask me to choose where I would like to live between singapore and australia, honestly, I can't give you an answer. To me, these two places will always be my home. Whether or not I will go back to singapore to work, I can't make up my mind. But I will definitely study uni here.

One thing that is different is that asian artistes hardly ever come here-.-
Singapore and malaysia gets so many visits from korean and taiwan stars every single year. While over here so far JJ lin had 1 concert here last year and show luo's concert recently. Even if you want to see them also cannot. They probably think that there aren't enough fans here to bring them here o.0

ohwell, enough ranting for today.







I just realised the previous post was on the 2 year anniversary of my first and last syf ever o.0
and now I'm blogging about the one tomorrow.
12 april, 9.00am, rvcb klarinutz jiayou!!
I will be uh, morally supporting you guys all the way!!
I'm really sorry I can't be there to tell you this personally or even help you guys(stupid ambitious me wanted to do so much to help when I went back but totally forgot when I was actually back-.-)
all I just want to say is, don't regret any single moment you have on that stage. Every minute gone is past. Enjoy your time on stage, show the judges what you've been practising and aiming for and putting in so much effort. I know you guys can do it! There's only been 4 GWH so far and quite a number of Golds compared to syf '09(I think) You guys have the chance, the skill and the ability, so go for it and show people who RVCB is! CUE AND JERK(LOLOL kill the jerk o.0) make the judges enjoy it as much as you do! play out! don't be afraid!
as a 过来人, I don't want anyone to regret. Want to go, go all the way, don't turn back halfway! Even primary school students can tell you 不要半途而废! So in conclusion, JIAYOU ALL THE BEST RVCB KLARINNUTZ!! Don't disappoint yourself!!



Saw that melbourne high guy again with the man with the guide dog. Happy to see that he know what to do now(:

I don't get why people like to say 'oh my god'. After hearing this explanation I know why it is so insulting to God. Imagine if someone used your name. Oh my ____(enter your name here)! Oh my Mary, Oh my Tom. Would you like it? It is a pure insult. Similarly God is a name, not a title. Isn't this the same as insulting Him? Over time, I guess it becomes a habit but of course you can still do something about it.

Random girl was peeking at my chinese conversation script just because it's chinese and she thinks it's hers?! Doesn't give her the right to do that right? She doesn't even know my name and pops her head right over my paper. Sure, I'm not even looking at it-.- IT'S NOT YOURS WOMAN!

It is FIANLLY the last day of term 1. It just hit me that this will be the last term 1 I will ever have in high school o.0 and in english today, my teacher was telling us we had 19 weeks of school(exclu has alreading holidays) left. That seriously is very short. It has already been 10 weeks and in 2 times of term 1, I have graduated?!! This thought is so...(no words to describe) I want to finish school but not really looking forward to university. All the assignments etc. in university seems very hard>< I really can't wait for today to end. This holiday's going to be super busy and I better go sleep more before school reopens!!



sometimes there's nothing great about being asian
was on the train this morning.
got onto the train and there was a person with a guide dog and well, the guide dog was trained to go to the nearest priority seat. So as usual the dog directed its owner there but this asian melbourne high guy was sitting there. With a dog sniffing at his bag how can he not see that he should give up his seat? so what if the other priority seat is vacant? Don't you have the grace to give up your seat for someone who needs it much more than you? That seat is not called PRIORITY SEAT for nothing. Or are you so smart until you can't read 'priority seat' right? Who cares if you're smart/from melbourne high or not. Have you not learnt about BASIC COURTESY? If you have, where has it gone? Because evidently you have not heard of such a thing. Where are your moral values? Are you studying too hard until you NEED a seat? Gee, it wasn't made for you to sit when there's someone who needs it more than you. Can't you see the person? At least apologise? No grace.
Worst thing is, his friends came on board at later stations and sat there too, obviously oblivious to the fact. AND in the end, they stood up and 2 other asian men sat there. If you can stand up to accompany your friends, why can't you give up your seat in the first place? It's just standing for a few more stations only anyway. Can you not hear how displeased the guy was? Or was your music blasting too loud through your earphones? The seat is meant for him and there you go plonking yourself there. Learn your manners and have the grace(of a man) and give up your seat. It's not that hard. It's not like you don't know how to do it. Right at the moment I felt like screaming at you. Go and reflect.



how is it possible that there is an 8 DEGREE MORNING in AUTUMN-.-

ok, considering my first VCE paper is tomorrow, I shouldn't even be online but uh, I saw this on facebook on because I'm trying to keep off facebook I will not share it for now but post it here.

"THE (SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS
For the next 60 seconds, set aside whatever
You're doing and take this opportunity! Let's see if Satan
Can stop this.

... ... ... ... THE
(SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS

At the age of 33,
Jesus was condemned to death .

At the time
Crucifixion was the "worst" death. Only the worst
Criminals were condemned to be crucified. Yet it was
Even more dreadful for Jesus, unlike
Other criminals condemned to death by
Crucifixion Jesus was to be nailed to the
Cross by His hands and feet.

Each nail
Was 6 to 8 inches long.

The nails
Were driven into His wrist. Not
Into His palms as is commonly
Portrayed. There's a tendon in the wrist that
Extends to the shoulder. The Roman guards knew
That when the nails were being hammered into the
Wrist that tendon would tear and
Break, forcing Jesus to use His back
Muscles to support himself so that He could
Breath.

Both of His feet
Were nailed together. Thus He was forced to
Support Himself on the single nail that
Impaled His feet to the cross. Jesus could
Not support himself with His legs because of the pain
So He was forced to alternate between arching His
Back then using his legs just to continue to
Breath. Imagine the struggle, the pain, the
Suffering, the courage.

Jesus endured this
Reality for over 3 hours.

Yes,
Over 3 hours! Can you imagine this kind of
Suffering? A few minutes before He died,
Jesus stopped bleeding. He was simply pouring water
From his wounds.

From common images
We see wounds to His hands and feet and even the spear wound
To His side... But do we realize His wounds
Were actually made in his body. A hammer
Driving large nails through the wrist, the feet overlapped
And an even large nail hammered through the arches, then a
Roman guard piercing His side with a spear. But
Before the nails and the spear Jesus was whipped and
Beaten. The whipping was so severe that it tore the
Flesh from His body. The beating so horrific that His
Face was torn and his beard ripped from His face. The
Crown of thorns cut deeply into His scalp. Most men
Would not have survived this torture.

"

He had no more blood
To bleed out, only water poured from His
Wounds.
The human adult body contains about 3.5 liters
(just less than a gallon) of blood.

Jesus poured all 3.5
Liters of his blood; He had three nails hammered into His
Members; a crown of thorns on His head and, beyond
That, a Roman soldier who stabbed a spear into His
Chest..

All these without
Mentioning the humiliation He suffered after carrying His own
Cross for almost 2 kilometers, while the crowd spat in his
Face and threw stones (the cross was almost 30 kg of weight,
Only for its higher part, where His hands were
Nailed).

Jesus had
To endure this experience, to open the
Gates of Heaven,
So that you can have free
Access to God.

So that your sins
Could be "washed" away. All of them, with no exception!
Don't ignore this situation.

JESUS
CHRIST DIED FOR YOU!

He died for you! It
Is easy to pass jokes or foolish photos by e-mail, but
When it comes to God, sometimes you feel ashamed to forward
To others because you are worried of what they may think
About you.

God
Has plans for you, show all your friends what He experienced
To save you. Now think about this! May God bless your
Life!

60
Seconds with God...

For the next 60
Seconds, set aside what you're doing and take
This opportunity! Let's see if Satan can stop
This.

All you have to do
Is:

1. Simply
Pray for the person who sent this message to
You:

2.Then, send this
Message to people.. The more the better.

3. People will
Pray for you and you will make that many people pray to God
For other people.

4. Take a
Moment to appreciate the power of God in your life, for
Doing what pleases Him.

If you are not
Ashamed to do this, please, follow Jesus' instructions.
He said (Matthew 10:32 & 33): "Everyone therefore
Who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge
before My Father in heaven; but whosoever denies Me
before others, I will deny before my Father in heaven." 

You may have realised I changed my blogskin.
Been wanting to change it for a veryyyyy long time but then blogskins.com refuses to let me search any key words so I have to rely on the "tags" on the blogskins. I actually changed to another one that was pink but uh, I couldn't really match the colour of the tagboard and the blogskin so I just kinda gave up-.- it was quite a nice one though :/ the pictures on it were nice. But then there were quite a few restrictions on the size/length of some things like the tagboard and links so..decided to change it to another one. Another one that is easier to match the tagboard to and also has the cool one-picture-a-post thing. I actually changed the title of the blogskin and the big word on top so..
I've been using "wish upon a star" for AGES but then I don't have creativity and haven't come up with anything else yet so, will have to stick with it for now. It may make me sound like a daydreamy kind of person but uh, I'm not really like that ok. I just realised something wrong with the date and time-.- the year and the time joins together and looks like some futuristic number/year of the future-.-
I really like the picture that comes with every post hahahah anyone free to look for nice blogskins like that for me? :D
A downside though, is that the font is TINY. All of the blogskins I see have tiny font and it's normal-sized. I know we're young and stuff but seriously-.- the size is like ants crawling on my screen.
AND I realised the "memory" part is getting longer and longer! o.0 It used to be so short haha
It's the longest I've ever had a blog so, an achievement? Alright, I should be going hahahha
Sorry for my temporary obsession with dandelions><


Shall continue my update on yesterday because I realised there were some things I missed out on.
Well, after the ceremony and we left the hall there is this tradition of running out of the school by the driveway with other students waving blue and white balloons(school colours), the "final exit" from school. Anyway, it was raining and so we ran super fast then walked back into school by the back carpark for the accomodation(food and drinks). There was also the valedictory dinner last night but I didn't go. Too expensive hhaha..but whatever, not going to pay $85 for a 3 course dinner at the botanic gardens-.-

ahahha, just felt I had to blog because some random woman called and it was..quite funny
woman: hi, how're you today?
me: good?!! (how awkward would it be if I said terrible hahahah)
woman: that's good, (and then she begins talking about I don't know what-.- with a word complimentary in her sentence)
me: what?! (her background was quite noisy)
woman: I'm inviting you to a complimentary meal next week!!
me: oh, where? (I meant to ask where I should be going to have the complimentary meal)
woman: A COMPLIMENTARY MEAL!! (and she was actually shouting into the phone by now-.-)
anyway, we ended the convo with her hanging up hahahhaha so funny><
I'm not deaf woman-.- I was going to specify my question and you just cut in so of course now it seems like you're talking to some deaf old woman-.-
First of all, please cut that CRAZY AUSTRALIAN ACCENT, normally I would understand that but your accent was just...
AND, please CALL IN A QUIET PLACE-.-
Don't scream into the phone, I can tell, thankyou.

ohlol, so funny how these advertisement people who call you always have funny accents and speak in a ridiculously fast pace-.- I didn't even catch a single word. Especially those Australians that call and talk in the super thick Australian accent and speaks like a bullet train. Dude, you want to be heard/understood, talk slower thanks. No one's going to get what you're saying if you talk at 1000000mph=.= Somehow all these people have really thick accents and after they've said hi you're actually like WHATT SAY YOU?!! Got called by another person once, an Indian lady, called a couple of times actually and I think she gave up HHAHAHAHAH sorry just so funny I have to share.

woman: Hi, how're you today? (their favourite greeting)
me: uh..good
woman: do you have a bank loan for your house? If so which bank? and how much?
me: uh, I'm not sure
woman: You don't have to disclose any personal information. (lol and she asked how much-.-)
me: uh, I'm not the owner of the house, I'm not sure of any bank loan.
woman: It's ok, do you have a bank loan? (IS SHE ON REPLAY OR WHAT-.-)
-facepalm- and then I just put down the phone hhahahahha
so ridiculous and funny LOL...ah, these people. Make me feel like an idiot talking to them but then after thinking about it, it's so funny hahahhaha XD

News of the day: I HAVE GRADUATED OFFICIALLY FROM HIGH SCHOOL

Last day of being 16.
Am I the only who doesn't want to grow up?
So many responsibilities, being mature etc.
and I don't know why but I don't like mentioning my birthday in melb.
I just don't want people to know I'm that much younger I guess...especially that one person.
I must NOT lose out to you.
Birthdays seem like such a big thing over here it's weird.
They have birthday parties/dinners every birthday..a bigger 18th and a very big 21st.
The last birthday party I had was when I was 12..the first birthday that is after exams in the period of primary school. Because PSLE ends earlier than normal school exams so my birthday falls in the week of PSLE marking week. Yes, it used to be a week and I believe now it's a few days. And then since then, my birthday has always been around exam period..even here-.-
I just want to..stay 16 forever hahahhaha (tells self to dream on)
I'm going to graduate next monday 24 oct. I still remember thinking in primary 4, how many more years I had to study before even going to uni and realising I had more than 10 years to go. I'm already halfway there. So soooon, don't even know what I want to do in uni. Sometimes, I really wonder if it was the right decision to skip a year..it's not like I can beat a rgs girl that is one year older(already, rgs already better than me but also one year older?!!) and not only that but also other smarttt people/hardworking people. Was doing maths and I realised how much work that needs to be done and it's taking me sooo long to do just 1 practice paper and that's only paper 2..there's still paper 1.
Tomorrow is the last day we're officially in school uniform, having lessons. thursday, friday dress-up, monday dress-up then change back to school uniform for my last assembly(leavers service) ever...last church service tmr too..all the 'last' stuff keeps coming up everywhere. I'm not sure I'm that happy to finally graduate. I don't even know what I want to do with my life. I just realised how hard it is to score that well..and me? sadly, is far far away from that target.
Screwed my chem sac on monday. So hard): And I probably made like a million careless mistakes as I always do...
Anyway, I guess this is the end of my 感言 as a 16-year-old.
Actually technically, I was born 4++pm singapore time 19 oct but Australia time is 7++ so I have...less than 24 hours still o.0

without realising it, today's wuzun's birthday!!
First birthday after being separated from fahrenheit):
it's really late now, I should be going><

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

—Steve Jobs


Know who Steve Jobs is? The co-founder of Apple. 

“ When does a man die? When he is hit by a bullet? No. When he suffers a disease? No. When he ate a soup made out of a poisonous mushroom? No! A man dies when he is forgotten! ” -Steve Jobs


After facing pancreatic cancer for 7 years, he passed away this morning at the age of 56.
It is the very same cancer wuzun's mum had. 


I guess when you're facing Death like this, you don't think so much about how much longer you have to live, it's more about making every day count. Making every day meaningful because one day, all this will pass, one day, everyone will die. No one is going to live forever and what's the point of slogging your whole life and regretting  your whole life when you're done? 


Right now, facebook and probably other networking sites are flooding with RIPs Steve Jobs, all mostly from his creation, apple devices. This is how many people he has impacted with his creation. Indeed, we do owe him many thanks for his contribution and inspiration to this generation. So, thankyou for what you've done for this generation. You will be remembered, Father of Apple. 

Just a really quick one.
Finally, the wait is over! Into the sixth year now I believe and they called today to confirm. Thank you God for looking out for us and performing this miracle.
It's been 5 full years and a bit and the realisation that it's over...
so relieved, so thankful.

it's been raining like crazy today..and it was 25 degrees yesterday..
It's supposed to be spring-.-
But how come we're like back to winter again? >.<
Just realised howww much more work I have to do and sooo little time to do. Chem exam papers, methods exam papers, further exam papers. And I am super unprepared for the maths stuff..
chinese is only so-so
english is...my essays are getting shorter and shorter
and then that's it. So basically...I'm prepared for NONE OF MY SUBJECTSS!!
die..better go do some work..

...so dead...
零时抱佛脚是件不好的现象，千万不要学>.<
not even kidding...memorising my general convo is just...:O
and I'm only on page 3..
3.5 half pages to go and it's already 10.06pm...looks like I'll be sleeping really late tonight):

hm..shall just casually post since I'm already logged in...

sometimes, I'm just so clueless as to what my mum wants me to do.
When I'm not studying, she wants me to study.
When I'm studying she asks me to do this and that(mainly housework).
So uh, do you want me to study or what?!
Hello, you're not the only person busy with assignments to finish. Mind you, I'm the one taking vce this year. I'm the one that's studying to go to uni next year...

intense mugging for the next month and a half or so...well, 6 weeks to be exact. So little time, so much to do. I better get working!

shall do a really quick one...actually I'm just complaining about my life LOL
really tired, I have no idea what I'm doing right now
All I know is I MUST FOCUS
I think I will actually stick the word 'FOCUS' somewhere in my room..
Concentration means so much, competition is everything, doing well then of course, is a must.
Have to start getting a move on, got to start printing exam papers, got to start doing maths like crazy etc.
It just hit me that there's 7 weeks to exams including this week and there's millions of papers waiting to be done, so many maths questions waiting to be completed, chinese general convo and detail study to prepare for. In conclusion, I shouldn't even BE online-.-
goodnight world!(:

10 years on....it's the 10th anniversary of 911 (US time)
It's a tragedy that shook the world. The news was replayed and replayed...I still remember wondering what was happening in primary 1..
10 year on..I'm now turning 17...
time passes fast
but it takes a long time to heal.
It is hard to forgive, hard to forget.
I pray for peace to be endowed upon those affected by 911. God, may they feel comforted and touched by your love. In Jesus name, Amen.

I think this will probably be one of the last posts(or maybe the last actually) before vce examss...although it starts in november...the amount of work I need to do has just dawned upon and I finally 领悟了 and so basically, I will...be temporarily be going on a internet hiatus most likely by the end of this month. But before that I have to blog :D so here goes...

Prayer is basically the way you connect and maintain a relationship with God. Honestly, sometimes it's really hard to pray to a God you've never been able to see, and sometimes you just feel He isn't there, like He isn't listening. Has it ever occurred to you that He's remaining silent on purpose? Prayer to me, should be said from the heart and not pre-arranged speeches. I find it difficult to say "Dear Lord..." in that flat monotone voice because it isn't from my heart. How do you actually pray without meaning it. It is like 口是心非, you don't mean what you're saying then what's the point of saying? If you don't praise with all your heart and mean it then what's your purpose of praying...it just seems like a show, a meaningless show for people to watch. My primary school teachers used to tell us that if we don't study and pray to God to help us do well, He can't help us...which is sort of true in that sense. I guess God keeps from you what He thinks you shouldn't have or gives you things you deserve. It's reasonable in the way that you don't get everything you pray for then God's purpose would become your genie literally, to grant your every wish-.- His silence sometimes, I guess is also a small test of faith. By praying for more faith, your are just asking for more trials to test your faith, but then your faith will be strengthened :D

sorry>.< I ran out of content...shall blog again soon(:

I was just thinking, why does God make us wait?
And I think it's not only because God has His own plan for us, but also if we always get what we want quickly, wouldn't we view God as being at our beck and call?
Think of it this way. If I pray for something to happen and it happens the next day, and it always happens this way, I think I would take it for granted that God would grant me whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. God would be just a God that makes my wishes come true but I don't think He wants to be seen that way. He is the mighty God, the God who saves, will He tolerate such treatment? Similarly, it's like spoiling a child with materialistic wealth. A child may wish for something and his/her parents wanting to make their kid happy gets the thing for the child. I think God wants to share a relationship that is much closer than that of a Father who gives presents and gifts whenever we please. That is a really materialistic kind of relationship that can't compare to real kinship that a father may have with his kids. Also, I think waiting also in a way nurtures your faith. If you always get what you want, it's very shallow faith and relationship because then, you have faith for the reaping of materialistic wealth. After a long time, it is common to feel impatient and even abandoned, but then if you are able to hang on until God helps, it shows that your faith has the power to help you hang on to God, and the faith that God will perform miracles and help you.

Humans always tend to turn to God when in need or in trouble but forget about Him when life is all good and happy. It's hard to not be like that because in a way, I guess, it's sort of human nature. You can't help what's going to happen, but I think it's most important to thank Him every day for his provisions, for having a safe and settled life every day.

Give thanks, with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One

have been wanting to change blogskin for a while now but then blogskins.com search engine always isn't working for me. So I shall just have to stick with the current one :/
Someone's going nuts in his own room for no apparent reason. Yes just insult and call me names when all I did was leave the key in the door UNLOCKED. I didn't even say anything to you when you got back like dude seriously? Who do you think you are. All the eff words and I'm wondering how old you actually are DUDE YOU'RE NOT EVEN 12!! What is the world coming to? Lower primary school kids have phones that are touch screen/slide etc. P6 boy having his own iPod touch?!!technological revolution.

My earphones died T.T both sides totally no sound. I went back to using the original one that came with the mp3 but that one the left side has already died so left the right side only. 3-4 sets of earphones died within 3-4years is that bad? About 1 set each year. Most of them is because the left side no sound the one that just got spoilt is the first one that both sides have totally zero sound. Went to look up if I can fix it but uh...apparently you can but it's not easy, might as well get another one-.- There are some people whose earphones spoil once every 3-4 months-.- Have no idea what they do with their earphones-.-

Anywayy, it's free dress day tomorrow! :D And there's band tmr morning too! I love band o.0 although it's so tiring to wake up so early(although in singapore I always woke up at that time every single day). To other people band is a burden but I enjoy it...lol performance in 3 weeks!! :O I have a solo ;) It's actually an oboe solo but the oboe girl doesn't want to play it-.- As if you don't want your solo!! And it's not like it's very hard but uh...really thankful for the solo then? I think it's one of the last performances EVER so it's like a perfect ending I guess, for me that is.  Dedication is not easy I guess, that's why not many people come on time...

ok I really should go now...need to go study more probability and memorise my chinese detail study(oral) stuff>.< update another time

Recently, the topic of forgiveness has been popping up everywhere, last Sunday's sermon, Monday school assembly, today chaplain's assembly.
Is God trying to tell me to forgive someone? Or is He asking me to pass on the message to somebody? Shall share some points from Sunday's sermon.

Forgiving isn't forgetting. The phrase "forgive and forget" is almost impossible to achieve. When you're hurt, it not very possible or likely that you'll totally forget that incident. Forgiving is starting the healing process of the heart. By thirsting for revenge just stops that healing process and at the same time, implying to God that you don't need his control and you can settle all this yourself. Forgiving isn't easy and I know that from experience. People have hurt me and after a while, I learnt to let go. Put the matter into God's hands and He will solve the problem for you. He is always in control and will never forsake you. It is a matter of whether or not you believe and have faith in Him to be in control and solve your problems.

Forgiving doesn't also mean a relationship. Some people will just hurt you over and over again. There's no point in continuing being related to them. A relationship needs both parties to work for it. If the other party isn't willing, you're just wasting your time and you'll just get hurt over and over again.

Because we are forgiven, we should forgive. Break the cycle of revenge and spread God's love, the essence of christianity. Trust that He knows and He heals. There is a parable in the bible in which a lord showed mercy and forgave his servant who did not return his money on time when the servant pleaded with him. That same servant then went to another servant who owed him money. When the debtor pleaded with the creditor, that creditor who was pardoned did not show mercy and threw the debtor servant into jail until he returned every single cent. When the other servants heard of this, they went to the master and told him. The master then called the servant he had pardoned and reprimanded him for not showing mercy that he was shown. That servant was thrown into jail and tortured until every cent was returned. In the same way, show God's grace that He has shown to you.

Today, during mustard, we were also talking about why bad things happen on Earth. Bad things is an understatement but I have no idea what other words I should use. There isn't a why doesn't God send us this and provide us with that. I don't think that there's such things as "God, I want rain, please send rain". I believe He has reasons for all His doings and sometimes these catastrophes are caused by the devil to rock your faith. In the same way, God may use these catastrophes to save people and let the victims grow deeper in faith. I listened to a sermon a while back and the preacher said "It's not that God provides rich people with all their money and possessions, if it's that way, God is being unfair and why would He do that? It just happened that you're born in the right time in the right environment, in the right place." I guess it's sort of true because why would God provide so much for one person and not so much for another? But in times of trouble, in times of need, it's sometimes really hard to turn your eyes to God, especially when you've been waiting. I, for one am so familiar with this waiting. My family's been waiting for the 6th year now. But I believe God is moving. Situation has improved and I trust that God will take care of us and solve the problem. It hasn't been easy and many times, my parents have asked God, "How long more do we have to wait?". Waiting is difficult and sometimes you just want to give up. You just have to have the faith that God will do a miracle and solve whatever problems you have. Trust that God knows best and He'll love you and will always be there for you no matter what.
Hope anyone who reads this feels encouraged to continue through your hardship! ♥



Forgive me for saying so but don't you think you're soooo ridiculously unreasonable?
cooking the rice 10 minutes later won't kill you. Just because David needs to get out by 5.30 doesn't mean I have to cook rice in blazer and jumper. ARE YOU AWARE THAT ALL THE CLOTHES I'M WEARING ARE LONG SLEEVED AND ISN'T VERY CONVENIENT TO WASH RICE? Does it matter to you that I'm feeling sick? It's not like I want to be but hello? can't even change clothes first isit? Yes, go on insulting me. It's not my fault David has to get out by 5.30. I'm not the one who signed him up for lacrosse. I'm not the person who introduced him to lacrosse and it's my fault the hole puncher disappeared? And it's also my fault david can't find the stupid pack of raisins that was supposed to be in the pantry but WASN'T? Can't you just admit you're wrong instead of saying WHATEVER? Yes, I owe my life to you but then be a bit more reasonable can-.- everything also my fault when we're rushing for David. Yes, totally..

It's NATIONAL DAY!! :D


Funny how we feel more patriotic overseas. I was never the really crazy enthusiastic patriot in singapore, not saying that I am one now. Still remember singing 'Home' super loud in P6 with Ruth and Winnie. Don't know how are they right now. It's been 5 years already!! I just found Winnie's facebook :O don't know if she still remembers me or not, but just add anyway :D

Anyway, back to the topic of national day. For  a government to have a nation with national pride is not easy. Recently the inflating influx of foreigners mainly scholars and expats haven't exactly made singaporeans jump with joy. The US economy downturn isn't going to help the economic situation either. But I think it's a long way that Singapore as a country, a nation has come. Today celebrates the 46th year of independence, the 46th anniversary of LKY's achievement in the history of Singapore. I'm not a supporter of any political group but the fact that LKY helped achieve Singapore's independence will not be changed. The fact that he once loved Singapore THAT much(I have no idea about his love now though) and the fact that Singapore has come this far. We came from a generation of poor immigrants, seeking the hope of a better life. Look where Singapore stands now. It's too crowded but at the same time the modern city is it's image. Singapore has moved from literally a kampong to a city. Although there're so many people and it's really overcrowded, public transport is just PACKED, construction of the new train line going on in various areas, in a way, everything is progressing.

To me, singapore is still my home. My home with all my friends and relatives, all my memories, my childhood. There are some people who I'm so thankful to God that I met. People who stood by me, quarreled but made up. Honest statement from me, if you can have a big quarrel with your friend and still end up as good friends, it shows that they treasure that friendship as much as you and your friendship will be even stronger. Singapore is where all my memories lie and there it shall stay.

Home
Whenever I am feeling low
I look around me and I know
There's a place that will stay within me
Wherever I may choose to go
I will always recall the city
Know every street and shore
Sail down the river which brings us life
Winding through my Singapore

This is home truly, where I know I must be
Where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows
This is home surely, as my senses tell me
This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home

When there are troubles to go through
We'll find a way to start anew
There is comfort in the knowledge
That home's about its people too
So we'll build our dreams together
Just like we've done before
Just like the river which brings us life
There'll always be Singapore

For this is where I know it's home
For this is where I know I'm home


It's been so long but this is still my favourite ndp song. (On the topic of ndp songs, the new versions are so....it ruins the meaning of the song. BRING BACK THE ORIGINAL VERSIONS!! :D)
家

Was going to memorise the first page of my detail study but uh, doesn't work. I think I memorise these things best in my room or on the train.
Really tired and sleepy although I slept earlier than usual yesterday. Feel like just going home to sleep somemore-.-
Got chem midyear results yesterday. The result's ok but not exactly jumping with joy about it. The percentage of boys compared to girls who got A+ is so different.
This week is pretty relaxed compared to last week. Chinese teacher is on camp, no tests/sac this week! But then I still need to memorise the first page of my detail study. I have no idea how I'm going to remember any of it. I think at most I'll get through to half the page.
I think I've lost my motivation to study this week. I've been putting of studying probability since last week. Should probably start soon...

Some people just don't know when to stop. They don't know when enough is enough. They just keep going on and on, assuming everyone has to talk to them, assuming they know everything, assuming that they're the boss. People who constantly say "you're a genius, I should be the one who should be worried", just STAY AWAY FROM ME. Stop talking like you know me so well. You don't. Just stop. Enough is enough. I just wanted to make a friend, and you? You just have to go on and on about how your studies arne't that good. If you're trying to praise me, you're doing it wrong. I know I'm not a genius. I'm not the type of kid that doesn't study and still gets full marks on a test or anything like that. I can study and still fall short of the full mark by a lot. Know your place and stop saying things like that. I don't like how you ask me how's my day and this sac and that sac EVERY SINGLE DAY AFTER SCHOOL. This just screams one word - "DESPERATION". Leave me alone ok? I'm not interested, will never be. At first I thought you were just being friendly, now I just want you to disappear. Stop asking me every single thing that's going on in my life. If I want to tell you, I'll tell you. Stop asking. I don't need to tell you anything, don't need to reply your messages, don't need to carry out small talk with you. If I want to talk to you, I will, just stop everything you're doing now, go and study and leave me alone! After not replying you since last thursday, do you not know how to take the hint to stop-.- I'm talking to you because I'm nice ok? I'm not interested in you, full stop, period. No one else talks to you because you're just so...I don't know, naggy? I have no idea how to describe it or even to respond. I'm being nice because I just think it's mean to ignore people like that but it's too much, I don't feel like being the nice person to you anymore.

200th post! :D
longest blog I've ever kept, although I'm not that faithfully updating and no one comes to read anyway.
everyone's doing their own thing, I'm doing my own.
SO BOREDDD
school is so boring, everything is so boring
I live just for the days,
live day by day, solving problems day by day
no future plan.


觉得可惜，觉得遗憾，觉得失落
虽然以前的中文水平不是那么的高，现在好像变更低了。好不甘心。
做detail study后的一些感想还要写说这提高了我的中文水平。明明就没有，为什么一定要这样说呢？我的中文水平本来就比现在的程度高，现在还要装说这对我很有帮助，为何要这样说？以前中文对我来说很难，但是现在其实满怀念的。真想不到以前一个半小时就把700－800个字的作文写完，现在却在写250字的作文，一切不如从前。
很怀念也很想念，依旧。
Australia' chinese oral examination is not even a test of oral skills on how fluent you are or how accurate you are. Bluntly said, IT'S A WASTE OF TIME. You want to test standard, test reading not MEMORISING. Chinese oral here is PURE MEMORISING. Hello? This is oral not a test of memorisation skills-.- Who can remember a total of almost 10 pages full of words for examiners to ask less than half of those questions?! ridiculous.
but then again, it's good that I left. I don't think I can continue in that kind of environment, juggling cca, school work, test, tuition etc. We aren't made of steel-.-
ohwell, end of rant.

melbourne's weather is going crazy again-.-
last week was so nice and warm and sunny and then it has to rain today
which means the coming week is going to be COLD. -sigh-
I used to complaing about how hot singapore was but I think having a stable weather condition is better than having weather that plays jokes on you and is so TEMPERAMENTAL-.- seriously. I rains for like 5 minutes, stops and THE SUN COMES OUT. Really hard to gauge when to wash the clothes because when the sun comes out, you bring the clothes out to dry.  After bringing all the clothes out, a grey cloud floats into vicinity and it's going to rain-.- so many times already!

好想停留在这个时刻。
从未成熟到现在的我，长大得好快。
转眼间已经是在读最后一年了。
从来没有想过要赶快长大，可是现在渐渐成长就好想要停止时间。
从不想到这里来，却开始喜欢这里的读书环境。
放弃了很多，得到了也很多。
我遇见的朋友，我都很珍惜。
很羡慕弟弟还在长高的状态，哪像我，没有再长高了。

ohman, why am I so reflective today>.<
is it because VCE's only 3 months away now?
the time to make the most important decision in my life is around the corner.
This term's a flurry. Week after week, it seems like a mundane routine but then each week brings us one week closer to the last year of high school. Never thought this would be so soon. I still remember thinking how old people in JC were, and now I'm here myself, I can't believe I'm this age. I can't believe I'm going to uni next year. I can't believe everything that's happening now in fact. I think I've changed a lot ever since I came here. I don't know in what way but I just have. When I went back to singapore, it felt like I just continued where I left off/of(?) It's just like my time in singapore was on pause and started to continue playing when I went back to visit, and now it's on pause again. People I know, enlisting soon, others going to uni already...

Finally am almost done with detail study. It's been taking up so much time to find information and then answer questions, edit answers etc. Now I just mainly left the questions on why I chose this topic and what I learnt from this topic.
Honestly, I have no idea what I learnt from Zhenghe's expeditions. I first knew him through my chinese textbook in primary school talking about how he travelled to the West Sea and gave all the expensive jewels etc. to other countries. I don't recall any motive being mentioned or what they were trying to achieve through his expeditions. Well, in a way, I did learn a lot more about Zhenghe and the whole situation of his maritime exploration. He actually made it all the way to East Africa, which is a major feat itself, and his treasure fleet consisted of ships larger to Columbus ships. He traded with many different countries and got other countries to pay tribute to China, in a way expanding the empire. But what did I learn from this event? Perseverance? Patience? Planning of journey?

my phone is so inactive it's just crazy..I used to send about 15-20sms a day last time because I got 10 free when I sent 5. Now? 1 message is so expensive, 1 call costs just $1.17 to hear the phone ring whether or not the person picks up. Going out just costs too much like eating etc. I live like a hermit-.-

so dead x_x
14 practice umat papers to finish. If it was chem, it wouldn't be a problem since each paper only take 1.5 hours BUT umat is a HUGE problem, since each paper takes 3 hours to complete. AND I LEFT 7 DAYS TO DO ALL 14 INCLUDING TODAY...which means I have to do about 2 papers every day and I still have drills to do...umat is next wednesday 1.30pm and I have to leave house before 12 I think, to get there on time, which also means I can't do a paper on wednesday...which means I have to rush papers this weekend...Doesn't help that there's a chem sac next thursday and methods sac next friday, and then englsih sac the week after. I honestly think I'm going to waste $770 because I don't think it's that possible for me to get like 91% to get an interview-.- it's just crazy-.-
adding on, super tired-.- I slept early last night, like 10.30, woke up at 6.30, slept all the way to school on the train like some pig. Couldn't actually keep my eyes open>.< then the stupid train at richmond had to be delayed for 10 minutes and then I missed the tram therefore had to walk to school then when I was halfway there the tram came. Not funny-.- today is windyyy~

so pissed.
Why must you always do all the sai gang/shit work when only you and me are home-.- and then you make me do half of it-.- where is David when you need help? POOING HIS HEAD OFF. and when you're cooking, he's at the dining table RIGHT NEXT TO THE KITCHEN, who do you call? ME, when I'm doing WORK. Me, black face? fyi, you looks like that too ok. You just don't want to let me use computer because I can and you can't, using study as an excuse-.- I can study on the computer too ok. You just don't want me to touch. And how come David touches for hours and hours PLAYING GAMES? HUHUHUH? please explain?! Who wakes up at 9am on a saturday morning to do housework-.- I woke up in ANTICIPATION for the FORMAL, and now I have no mood to even care. Every minutes you ask me to run off to do some shit. I NEED TO GET READY TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE BY ABOUT 1.30pm OK! Just because some people are coming to our house doesn't mean they will come and inspect the stupid floor and lick it or something-.- Nobody's going to stare at your toilet' bin's contents. Nobody's going to inspect each and every room and approve of it or something.
Stayed up till 12 last night doing my nails and some got ruined so I had to do it again this morning and you ask me to run all over the house, from vacuuming the living room+my room+David's room to hanging the wet laundry-.- Not funny woman-.- I HATE MY VACUUM CLEANER-.- It's the OSIM iEcologi and it WEIGHS A TONNE no joke. You thought is was good because you could steam mop too but NO it had to spoil. And then the stupid tubing had to be replaced. And best part of all, we shipped it down before all this happened-.- We shipped a stupid heavy vacuum cleaner that doesn't steam mop(which it's supposed to) and now a wheel has to drop off meaning we have to CARRY the vacuum cleaner around the house to vacuum the floor-.-
I may sound like some spoilt brat here but seriously? This vacuum cleaner is a KILLER-.-

sometimes, I think during quarrels, people should step down from their pride and just apologise. What's holding you back? What do you lose for apologising? Your pride? And is it worth losing your friendship for a meaningless quarrel? What's the point of quarreling? If you were really good friends, you would make up after the quarrel. You wouldn't stop speaking to each other, you would be friends with an even stronger friendship. Sometimes, you shouldn't take things so seriously. From the experiences I had, why let these bother you? You just become angry and resentful and you can't do anything well. The fact that you are getting angry shows you care about what the other person is thinking. If you genuinely don't care about the person, then you wouldn't be angry with the person in the first place-.- AND it's probably just a misunderstanding...clear that up and won't you be fine already-.-

not sure what I'm doing here at this time. It's 10/47pm, I should be sleeping-.-
just finished marking the 2009 paper. OHMAN at this rate I'm going to screw VCE midyears AGAIN which I CANNOT AFFORD. But then that paper apparently was one of the hardest so far...so is that a good sign? I did pretty ok except for the careless ones and a few I didn't have time to complete. Looks like I need to work a lot more quicker.
Honestly, I can't WAIT till the exams are over. I'm also not very extremely prepared. But then, so many things to do, so little time. Stupid chinese detail study takes over from general conversation. Much more research, much more time, MUCH MORE MEMORISATION. And then there's chem. And methods. And basically that's all I care about o.0 I shall go sleep now. Chem sac tmr! practice exammmmmm): I must finish it! -reminds self to bring watch tmr-

it's been a few days...
tired this week, no reason why though...no sacs, I sleep not very late etc.

ohwell, sometimes some people are just not worth your time and effort.
If you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything.
Some people treat you like you're invisible even though you're bang right in front of them.
They pretend to be nice to you in front of people they care about.
But that just shows how fake they are.
If you are ignored by someone like that, they are not worth your sincerity.
They think they're all up there but they don't realise what they really are and that is probably their loss.
To have a character like that does not make you be the top.
Insecurity maybe? I don't know but it's definitely not my business.
I'm not going to be bothered by the fact that you ignore me(gee why would I care honestly-.-)
I shall end my rant because it is kind of late now.
Good night!(morning actually..)

tired tired tired
such a bad idea to sleep late on a sunday night.
I am just wondering how I used to survive waking up at 6am every single morning, staying back like 6-6.30pm twice a week and then eating lunch at 3++ every single day. Not to mention chinese bu ke every monday then ends at 4++?!! Of course it's much more intense now in Singapore. Lessons end mostly at 4pm almost every day and that's without cca...

think I'm going to do bound feet for detail study...
pictures are gruesome but there isn't much to do on Zheng He(the famous explorer guy for those who don't know) can't find much information about him except that he's muslim, he's a eunuch and he sailed all the way to Africa..so I need 4 general areas from that but not much to say in each point right?
so I guess I'm going to do bound feet...Reading about how it's done, it just shows how sadistic men were...subjecting women to such pain for your um...sexual desire is very...self-centred. And apparently it was pro-confucious in the aspect that women had to be reliant on their husbands and couldn't run about the place and stay mostly at home...Tie your feet to get married?!! But then again, men used to have more powere over women so...women were subjected to such a harsh practice as KIDS. Robbed them of their childhood, caused them to suffer for the rest of their lives. And the worst thing of all is that it was carried out for about 1000 years!! Good thing it was stopped.

Melbourne weather's driving me nuts-.-
was already so called and now it has to rain NON-STOP
how is this even possible-.- should be close to snowing soon-.- in the morning it's 4-6 degrees, at night maybe 1-2 degrees more..it wasn't this cold last year...
but also because of the rain that I saw a beautiful glowing rainbow. Was on the train(glen waverley line) and saw a rainbow that had it's base on the opposite sides of the train...which makes it seem like the train is passing through the rainbow arch. So beautiful especially when the sun came out and the left side of the rainbow started GLOWING. It disappeared exactly at 2.59pm...then as I was going to cross the road(at 3.11pm) I saw another one...how do I know it was another one? the arch was pointing in a different direction. Lasted for a much shorter time but still first time I ever saw 2 rainbows in one day couldn't take any pictures because well, my phone camera wouldn't e able to see it anyway...
beautiful sight in a freezing cold day...

wonder what's wrong with melbourne weather this week...it's absurdly/unbearably COLD...not to mention the rain that soaks into your shoes...this is no fun-.- I wear like a shirt and a jumper AND a fleece jacket thing at home-.- in school, it's shirt, school shirt, school jumper, school blazer AND it's still cold>< wind and rain just doesn't make it any better><

David's off to camp for the whole week...I wonder how he's surviving when I'm freezing...
and the downside of him going to camp is I have to wash the dishes AND dry the dishes(which is his job-.-) and furthermore...the air is FREEZING so technically, touching water is a retarded action to be doing-.- Using the computer and playing the piano makes my hands freeze up, but then again, my hands freeze up pretty easily. The upside about David going to camp is, the house is much more quieter...would this be how it would be like if he wasn't born? My mother's back late, freezes then microwaves our dinner, makes me pack my own recess/lunch etc. It's a slightly different story when David is around...

busy weekend ahead, I better get a headstart!
This friday: Chinese role-play SAC
Next monday: Chem SAC; further bring-home SAC due
don't rmb what else I have...but that's it for now(:

funny how everyone has to return to their daily hermit life when just a night ago, everyone was on fb, encouraging each other.
Read some fb statuses and it seems like...it didn't go that well? Am I right? all the statuses seem so down...or maybe it's because it's the last performance with this batch of year 6s...

Feel kind of left out at the moment...everyone knows what happened except me, no one is around to tell me, all the statuses updated after syf don't include me o.0 (of course it wouldn't since I'm not even there-.-) I'm thinking too much. I shall stop. Everyone goes on with their life and so should I. I think band was my main source of motivation in rv. Sure band pracs were crazy, the number of band pracs during the holidays and before syf were crazy, but in the end, it's the place I met so many people, people who made my life different in rv.  I learnt so much. So, thank you seniors(and batchmates) for all the memories you have given me.

I resisted the urge to blog yesterday but then I blog today-.-
ohwell, here goes
RVSeniorBand SYF 2011 is here.
Regardless of the result, everyone knows how much effort and practise you peeps have put in so that in itself is commendable. The whole 10 minutes on that stage is yours. It's your decision what to do with it. Hopefully, past mistakes were learnt from and you guys come back triumphant this time!!(: Here's wishing you all the best in today's syf at 3.05pm.
I actually feel really sad that I can't be with this batch to play and work hard for this syf...it's the batch of band peeps that I'm closest to, probably spent the most time in band with and now after this last performance with seniors(year 6s) they're finally stepping down. It seems like yesterday that I was sec1. I still rmb the first band prac where I didn't know how to set up the music stand and zoenin helped me. And then sebby and jiayi being super scary when I was in sec1. And now, we've advanced from a sec1 junior recruit to a senior. The responsibilty increases, the skill has improved by a lot(especially after syf) and the bonds created become stronger by each band prac. It's the last time performing on stage with the current batch of RVseniorband peeps, treasure it.
RVSeniorBand, JIAYOU!!
klarinutz ftw <3
firsts! seconds! thirds! bass! GOGOGO!!
Sebastian, Jiayi, Lihua, Kaizhen
Kimyee, Zoenin, Kimberly, Yijun, Evan
all the best!!(:

the best I played on  stage was with this current batch,
the best I've ran 100m is also with this batch.
memories forever.

don't get it why parents make their kids clean up the house when a visitor visits...
like it actually becomes some major spring cleaning event every time
and of course, everyone knows that it's going to be equally messy the next day-.-
so what's the point?
your visitors aren't here to see the house-.- they're here to see YOU
I didn't invite them to come and stay in our house for a week, neither did you
but that doesn't give you the right to call for me to do things every single minute
that doesn't give you the right to scream at every person in the house
What's the point of cleaning up when by day 3, the house will be messy again?
vacuum, wash toilet, mop floor etc.
they're not going to freaking TOUR the whole house for the WHOLE DAY
they won't go to you and say IT'S NOT CLEAN HERE
they aren't health/hygiene inspectors
why do we have to clean the WHOLE HOUSE so that they can be introduced to a neat/clean house which will be dirty by at most day 3?
even so, it doesn't give you the right to scream.

it's miriam's birthday today!!(: so fast and it's already a year...still remember trying to rush out her present last year...not much time to do so this year though...it's test period in singapore(well, basically for my whole holiday-.-) so at the moment I have no one to talk to and no one to go out with(not like I very free luh-.-) ohwell...sometimes I feel like I'm living 2 lives...the aussie life and the singapore life...go to school, one life. Come back home, switch to other life again...

the holidays are half over and the amount of work I've done is not commendable
I don't want school to reopen):
parent's friends from singapore coming on thursday, staying at our house, going on holiday with us...

australia used to be a place I visit for holiday but now I live here. Never even thought of this before.
If you ask me to choose where I would like to live between singapore and australia, honestly, I can't give you an answer. To me, these two places will always be my home. Whether or not I will go back to singapore to work, I can't make up my mind. But I will definitely study uni here.

One thing that is different is that asian artistes hardly ever come here-.-
Singapore and malaysia gets so many visits from korean and taiwan stars every single year. While over here so far JJ lin had 1 concert here last year and show luo's concert recently. Even if you want to see them also cannot. They probably think that there aren't enough fans here to bring them here o.0

ohwell, enough ranting for today.



I just realised the previous post was on the 2 year anniversary of my first and last syf ever o.0
and now I'm blogging about the one tomorrow.
12 april, 9.00am, rvcb klarinutz jiayou!!
I will be uh, morally supporting you guys all the way!!
I'm really sorry I can't be there to tell you this personally or even help you guys(stupid ambitious me wanted to do so much to help when I went back but totally forgot when I was actually back-.-)
all I just want to say is, don't regret any single moment you have on that stage. Every minute gone is past. Enjoy your time on stage, show the judges what you've been practising and aiming for and putting in so much effort. I know you guys can do it! There's only been 4 GWH so far and quite a number of Golds compared to syf '09(I think) You guys have the chance, the skill and the ability, so go for it and show people who RVCB is! CUE AND JERK(LOLOL kill the jerk o.0) make the judges enjoy it as much as you do! play out! don't be afraid!
as a 过来人, I don't want anyone to regret. Want to go, go all the way, don't turn back halfway! Even primary school students can tell you 不要半途而废! So in conclusion, JIAYOU ALL THE BEST RVCB KLARINNUTZ!! Don't disappoint yourself!!

Saw that melbourne high guy again with the man with the guide dog. Happy to see that he know what to do now(:

I don't get why people like to say 'oh my god'. After hearing this explanation I know why it is so insulting to God. Imagine if someone used your name. Oh my ____(enter your name here)! Oh my Mary, Oh my Tom. Would you like it? It is a pure insult. Similarly God is a name, not a title. Isn't this the same as insulting Him? Over time, I guess it becomes a habit but of course you can still do something about it.

Random girl was peeking at my chinese conversation script just because it's chinese and she thinks it's hers?! Doesn't give her the right to do that right? She doesn't even know my name and pops her head right over my paper. Sure, I'm not even looking at it-.- IT'S NOT YOURS WOMAN!

It is FIANLLY the last day of term 1. It just hit me that this will be the last term 1 I will ever have in high school o.0 and in english today, my teacher was telling us we had 19 weeks of school(exclu has alreading holidays) left. That seriously is very short. It has already been 10 weeks and in 2 times of term 1, I have graduated?!! This thought is so...(no words to describe) I want to finish school but not really looking forward to university. All the assignments etc. in university seems very hard>< I really can't wait for today to end. This holiday's going to be super busy and I better go sleep more before school reopens!!

sometimes there's nothing great about being asian
was on the train this morning.
got onto the train and there was a person with a guide dog and well, the guide dog was trained to go to the nearest priority seat. So as usual the dog directed its owner there but this asian melbourne high guy was sitting there. With a dog sniffing at his bag how can he not see that he should give up his seat? so what if the other priority seat is vacant? Don't you have the grace to give up your seat for someone who needs it much more than you? That seat is not called PRIORITY SEAT for nothing. Or are you so smart until you can't read 'priority seat' right? Who cares if you're smart/from melbourne high or not. Have you not learnt about BASIC COURTESY? If you have, where has it gone? Because evidently you have not heard of such a thing. Where are your moral values? Are you studying too hard until you NEED a seat? Gee, it wasn't made for you to sit when there's someone who needs it more than you. Can't you see the person? At least apologise? No grace.
Worst thing is, his friends came on board at later stations and sat there too, obviously oblivious to the fact. AND in the end, they stood up and 2 other asian men sat there. If you can stand up to accompany your friends, why can't you give up your seat in the first place? It's just standing for a few more stations only anyway. Can you not hear how displeased the guy was? Or was your music blasting too loud through your earphones? The seat is meant for him and there you go plonking yourself there. Learn your manners and have the grace(of a man) and give up your seat. It's not that hard. It's not like you don't know how to do it. Right at the moment I felt like screaming at you. Go and reflect.

how is it possible that there is an 8 DEGREE MORNING in AUTUMN-.-

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