Saturday, July 15, 201710:56 PM
Honestly, I feel like I've had a shit week.
Turned up to work every single day this week feeling underpaid, overworked and just shit in general. Every day of my work week this week I wondered how long I can keep this up. Was talking to a colleague at work about leave and holidays. She mentioned long service leave after working for 10 years at the same company, and I just could not fathom doing this for another 10 years. I would literally go crazy I think. Barely 6 months in and I'm already considering getting out. Initially I was thinking I'l do this for another 2-5 years and take my time to think through what I really want and transition when it's time but that means I have to bear with this for another couple of years. It's probably not the job or the people..it's just the whole profession in general. I don't think I'm cut out for it or I just don't love it enough. Maybe it's the "being stuck in the same position with no progression or new challenges but more shit and same pay". There is no incentive to stay in this other than it being a full time job with really nice colleagues. But on the other hand, I have to be thankful to have a full time job that's so near home and colleagues that I enjoy working with. Conflicted and just confused in general about where this or where I'm heading to. I think 6 months in, I've really lost any direction I did have because now there is no end goal. There is no "end result" coming out of this. And honestly that's pretty bleak-looking. Maybe I'm being too pessimistic about this all, but it says something if an increasing percentage of graduates are leaving the profession after barely starting in it. Have been pretty grumpy the whole week so I really have to get in the right headspace this weekend to be ready to face another week head-on.
On a sidenote, you really know you're getting old when you have to write down what you need to get done on the weekend so you don't forget :P
