Lack of motivation..
Monday, October 29, 20127:06 PM
Casually posting during dinner since I haven't posted in quite a while..ok maybe just over a week. The past week I've been attempting to study, notice the word attempting. No idea why but I've lost every single bit of motivation to study now..how easily I get distracted just shocks me. I think I know my stuff for tomorrow's exam so hopefully I won't be thrown off my feet and walk out confidently knowing I did well. I've never felt this calm before exams before..really worrying considering this is the day before my fort exam. To be honest, I haven't even started studying for my other exams a next week. More crazy cramming coming up so won't be blogging anytime until 12 nov. To all A level takers, all the best!!
Friday, October 19, 20129:34 PM
It has been a very uneventful birthday today, not that I was expecting any surprises.
It is quite sad that no one from my high school has wished me happy birthday yet. Today is ending in 3 hours and I haven't got a single one from people I called my 'close friends'. Maybe they forgot, or they remembered the wrong day or something? Somehow people keep remembering my birthday at october 20-something. No..it's not. Especially one of them..I thought we were pretty close and during my high school reunion she mentioned the exact number of days left till my birthday, but then how come today..ohwell, I shall not let myself get too disappointed about this because there is more.
First happy birthday came from zoenin in facebook messages. Second from my dad on iMessages. Third, surprisingly, from a uni friend by text. I find it EXTREMELY ironic how I only told maybe 1 friend from uni when my birthday is and I get a text message from another person while my high school friend publicly declared my birthday when nobody knew(so technically all of them know now) and I haven't received a single message. Hmm..interesting. Got to uni(had a test today-.-) and the birthday wishes started pouring down haha. I had no idea everyone knew, I don't even know how..
Most disappointing thing was when I got home. Turns out because my brother wants to learn baseball, he went to a baseball practice thing at 5 and came back at like..7+ I think. In then end, no cake and no eating out, and here I am, going to end my birthday listening to my lecturer talk about pregnancy and lactation just like a usual friday night. I didn't want my birthday to be a big deal in school/uni but like at least at home would be nice you know, just saying. Instead, our activities have to revolve around my brother, yea thanks so much. I could have found someone to go out and eat dinner with and sort of celebrate, but I didn't, just to come home and slack off and help to cook my own dinner. It was only until 8+ that my mum asked whether I wanted to go out and get a cake and I was like...what shop is open for you to buy a cake at this hour. Yes I do appreciate the effort my mum tried to put in but it seems sort of insensitive to ask whether or not I want to get a cake when there probably isn't going to be a store open. My mum actually wanted my dad to drive her out to buy a cake but my dad said the same thing and refused to drive. So in the end, we're going to buy a cake tomorrow and go out for dinner. I think I'm sort of anal about celebrating birthdays ON the birthday itself but, what can I do? My family isn't the kind to plan surprises, nor do they place a strong emphasis on birthdays because..it's just a birthday. Celebrating early or late doesn't really matter. I wouldn't argue with this if my birthday was on a weekday but today is friday..and it's my 18th...I'm sorry and I know I sound spoilt saying this but I'm going to say it anyway. It's my 18th birthday, why does my birthday have to revolve around what my brother wants to do? All my friends were asking what I'm going to do tonight and I said nothing, because that's how my family celebrates birthdays. It's always a cake just before we go to sleep and that's it for a birthday. For the first time ever, I don't have a cake on my birthday. Way to remember my 18th?
Just logged into facebook and saw that I got a message from my senior haha, I'm quite surprised to see it since he's quite busy. But then again, my birthday isn't that hard to remember for band members because I have the same birthday as the conductor! Happy birthday ms chan!
12:01 AM
So..this will be my last post ever as a 17-year-old.
5 minutes to midnight now. Do I sound like I'm anticipating it? I'm not, really.
Truthfully, tomorrow will just pass like any other day and I might even forget that it's my birthday.
I think in the recent years, my parents have been more excited about my birthday than I have been. Just now, my parents asked whether I wanted to go out with friends or do something tomorrow. Well, I don't think my friends know when's my birthday and I don't exactly want them to know. Turned off my facebook timeline. Hmm, I don't think I'll do anything special tomorrow. Go to uni for a test, come home, slack off, maybe do some work, and there you go, a perfectly ordinary friday night. No wild crazy 18th party for me. I'm not the crazy party type where everyone gets drunk.
2 minutes to midnight now, I better read up my prac manual for the test tomorrow><
From the bottom of my heart
Wednesday, October 10, 20126:57 PM
So many happenings in the span of 2 hours today..I'm so tired physically right now-.-
First of all, IT'S WUZUN'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!! Hahah it's been quite a few years now and it's been getting harder to follow his news since he sort of disappeared from the media's radar..but anyway, happy birthday to him! So many people have the 1010 birthday. Ok, maybe not that many but quite a few. It's wuzun's birthday, miss A's Suzy(she's the same age as me :O) and my friend from uni's birthday! Mine's coming up soon too, but honestly, I don't want anybody to know..I don't know why but I want it kept..private, I don't need surprises or presents on my birthday. I think at the moment, the people who know my birthday are my closest friends and my parents. No, not my entire family knows because..my brother is not cool and doesn't know when my birthday is-.- it was quite a shock when I was having a prac today and a friend came up and said that my birthday's coming p really soon too. I almost does of a heart attack, because I was looking at the lay day of this semester(which also happens to be my birthday) and then she asked of that was my birthday and I can't..lie about it can I? So I told her yes and I can't believe she remembers it till now..really hope she doesn't tell other people when it is. If I could, I wouldn't even turn up on my birthday but then..I have a test on that day...
Anyway, on to what made me so tired. The genius that I am forgot to bring my Myki(public transport card - same thin as the ez-link card) and when I was going home(about 5) just before I was going to tap my card, I realised my card wasn't in my bag. Being the klutz that I am, I immediately sat down somewhere and rummaged in my bag, even resorting to taking everything out and putting everything back in again. Of course, it was sitting at home and I couldn't find it, so I thought it dropped somewhere. I immediately caught a tram back to uni, searched near some areas in uni where I sat down and found nothing. With nothing I can do, I caught the tram again and headed back to the train station(melb central), hoping I can buy a metcard(a paper ticket system the government is trying to phase out). The metcard is a paper ticket that you can buy before each trip you travel. And as they are trying to stop that system and move to Myki, which is the same system as the ez-link cards, they don't sell those cards anymore. Went to the customer service to ask, only to be told I have to get another myki so i can get home. Not willin to spend so much money, I walked the distance of 5 tram stops o another big train station(flinders st) to see if they still sold metcards. They didn't, so i went to catch a tram again since some of the old ones still have the machines that sell the metcards. Little did I know, the machine only accepts coins and I only have notes. Attempted to change money with passengers on the tram and I was pleasantly surprised haha. Asked this man if he had coin change for $10. I needed $6.50 in coins for the metcard an since Australia doesn't have $2 notes, he had to give me all in coins. He literally dug in all of his pockets to see of he had change. Turns out he only had $4 in coins and told me it's ok to take it if it was enough(without giving him back any money). I gave it back to him since it wasn't enough and thanked him. Asked a woman after that and she emptied her entire wallet coin pocket for me, counting all her 10 and 20 cents for me. In the end she was short by a dollar and then somehow I ended up with $4 from her. Thanked her profusely and decided to risk buying the cheaper concession ticket for kids under 17. Bought the ticket, got off and went to the station(melb central) and put my card in. Put the card in, and the machine said "no trips left" and I was wondering why. Took the card back and saw the EXPIRED on it-.- I feel so cheated..in Facebook terms, I was trolled. Seriously, I was panicking and thinking I finally found a way to get home and I'm told my ticket is expired..no choice but to buy a full fare Myki card and spent $10. But then, at least I got home and found my card. I was praying so hard on the train that my card wasn't lost but at home, so praise God!
To the gentleman and the lady who tried so hard to find change for me and volunteered to just give me the money, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. It's just a small gesture and although you'll probably never see me again or read this, I was really touched by your actions and so once again, thank you so so so much for trying to help!
